Breaking Dawn Book 4: Renesmee
by Kimmydonn
Summary: Renesmee's POV for Breaking Dawn. Starting just before Edward 'hears' her for the first time.
1. Chapter 1: Dawn

Disclaimer: Breaking Dawn is the property of Stephenie Meyer. This is the same story, through the eyes of the little girl who saw it all. Thanks to Betas Quothe Me and Emily Lynne from PTB for their help finishing this chapter.

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I became aware of sound. I could hear something happy. I could feel warmth. I could feel something beside me, but outside. The sound was good, making me happy. I was pulled toward the sound, and I realized I was pulling that one toward me. Then I recognized more than one of the same sound. The one I pulled, and a more melodious one. Then, louder than either of those, was the voice of the one who held me. This was when I first realized I was being held. I knew I was cramped, but I didn't know it was because I was inside someone. And as I reflected on that I felt the love of that one for me. I remembered dim flashes, not quite fully aware then, I remembered love. I didn't understand the words of the one who held me, but I knew she asked a question. I heard the voice of the one I pulled again and stretched to reach him. I heard concern, a gasp from the one who held me, and I stopped moving. All this new awareness... Tired...

I woke again and noticed that the one I pulled was no longer here. I was sad but listened to the voices outside. The one who held me spoke and was answered most often by two melodious voices, one high and one low. I learned these voices and tried to understand what they said. I could tell the low one was troubled. It sounded like I felt; like it was missing something, longing for something. I wanted to give it to him. The higher one was protective, like the one who held me. Most of all, in part due to its volume and in part due to my love for her, I focused on the one who held me. Maybe next time I would understand. I hoped the one I pulled would be back. He would be; after all, he was mine. He wouldn't be gone long.

I was right. When I woke next he was back. I stirred, but he wasn't as close as I thought. I heard another gasp from the one who held me. Moving hurts her; I needed to remember that. But I needed to reach him. He pulled me just as I pulled him. Thankfully, the one who held me was moving in the right direction. I could hold still then, maybe. I heard his speaking voice. It was terse, authoritative, but it also made me feel good. I still couldn't understand much. Hunt. What did that mean? It seemed to be something important. He was close again. The high voice was indignant.

"Psycho," he called her. That didn't seem right. She was angry at him. I didn't want them to hurt each other.

The one who held me agreed aloud. "Enough, Jacob." Jacob... Was that her name? Enough. Did that mean stop? That was what I wanted to convey.

Then the one who held me spoke again, "You look tired," and the one I pulled answered, "Dead beat." The high voice replied to that, but I couldn't make out the words. I tried to think about those I'd already heard. Tired. That was the important one, I decided. That was what she was trying to emphasize. I wished she would say more, or that I could learn more from what she said.

I heard the low melodious voice then; it wasn't as longing as before. Maybe like me, the one he needed was here. The low voice and one who held me were talking to each other, and I couldn't keep track of the words, but I tried so hard to hold them. I needed her words. The low voice said something else, "loves you," and then the one who held me yelled.

SO LOUD! I reached for the one I pulled, kicking out.

"Baby," I heard from the one who held me. I was sure she meant me. I understood something! I was learning! I was baby! The low voice had used that word too. Now the one who held me made loving sounds and I heard warm, safe and loved. Those were things that I had. I tried to match them to things I knew, but I had no way of knowing if I got it right.

"EJ." That was a name. The low melodious voice sounded full now. It was much nicer. The high voice was back asking for another name. Renee, Esme, Renesmee and Edward. Someday I would know what all these names were associated with. I wanted to see, to know. I wanted to be with them. Which one was the one who held me? Which the one I pulled? I loved them so much; I needed them.

The low voice was pained again. What was wrong? Then the one I pulled was gone. The low voice was quickly back and that appeased me some. More names were given, Rosalie and Bella. I kept listening, thrilled to be learning. It helped fill the hole left by the one I pulled. I finally discovered that Rosalie was the high voice, and Edward was the low one. So who was Jacob then? I put it together when the angry voice came in. She used that name often. Jacob was the one I pulled. The one I needed. I kicked out before remembering I shouldn't do that. The one who held me began to make a terrible sound and I realized that she was in pain, more than I had caused. The other voices became angry too. Edward and Rosalie finally chased the angry one away and came to comfort the one who held me. She was Bella. They crooned her name as they consoled her. Too much... Their musical voices lulled me into sleep.

The one I pulled, Jacob, I reminded myself, was back. I settled happily inside Bella. He was speaking with Bella.

"..stupid..."

"...sorry..." What did those words mean? They were said with amusement. I reached with my mind for Jacob, knowing reaching with any other part of me would hurt Bella. Suddenly I was being moved, much more vigorously than I was used to. Usually when Bella moved it was drifting. This was jerky. I tried very hard to stay still, knowing it hurt her when I moved.

"One more day," Bella said. There was relief in her voice. That meant soon.  
Then there was a much more violent jerk and a new sensation reached me. I had never had an urge to breathe before. Everything I needed came through Bella. Now that connection was gone. I was in trouble. I was in pain. I started to fight, to kick. It was awful, knowing it would hurt Bella, but I needed to get out. My chest ached. I tried to pull in the fluid around me, but that didn't fill me. Jacob? Yes, I needed Jacob, but that wasn't what I was trying to take in. As I thought of Jacob, I was aware of the voices again. Edward and Rosalie where shouting. I kept fighting.

"Get him out!" Bella was screaming now and it pummeled my ears. Soon was not soon enough. I pushed my legs harder, stretching as much as I was able. I'd hit a wall. I tried to think of a way through. The voices were still shouting. I pushed again. I heard Edward and Jacob once more. I heard the ripping, the grinding, and then there was light. Everything was so bright, I couldn't make out anything at first.  
I heard Jacob telling me to stay with him now. Except he was calling Bella. I pulled air into my lungs. For the first time, I saw a face. From the voices before, this was where Edward would be. "Renesmee," he said, and confirmed my guess with his voice, low and melodious. Was I wrong? Was I not baby?

"Give her to me," Bella demanded. I saw another person standing over her. That would be Jacob, but he was intent on Bella and so was I. She was beautiful. She was the one who held me. She was my world up until now. She held me again, but being held on her outside instead of her inside was very odd. Suddenly I realized there was something else I was lacking now that our connection was gone. I needed to fill my mouth the way she had before. I filled my mouth with her, hoping to find what I needed. I did! It was warm, thick, metallic. It was wonderful to taste! Bella tasted wonderful! Suddenly, I was being pulled away from her.

"No, Renesmee," Edward told me. Apparently that was me, and I had done something wrong. Jacob was breathing into Bella. I understood that now. That was what I had needed. Of course she needed it too. I was so glad Jacob was looking after her.

Rosalie returned then. "Give me the baby," she was saying. So I was baby and Renesmee? I still didn't understand. I didn't want to leave Bella and Jacob, but I was tired again too, and I knew Rosalie. She would watch over me until they were back. I fell asleep in her cool arms.

I opened my eyes again, feeling something wet on me. I saw water splashing over me, and where it fell, my skin was white. Before it was red, now it was white. How strange. Then I was wrapped up and Rosalie held me. I pulled for Jacob and Bella. Were they still well? Rosalie wouldn't be here if they needed her, would she? But maybe her love for me was not love for them. Bella. Jacob. Edward. They were all away.

Rosalie cooed, "Here you go," and held out something to me. I didn't understand, but as she popped it in my mouth, I tasted it. I had smelled that all over the room with Bella and as she washed me. This was what I needed, what my body craved. I sucked greedily, feeling stronger with every mouthful. Bella tasted better, I remembered, but Edward had said no. Did that mean I'd hurt her again?

Then I felt him. He was coming closer. Jacob. I pulled with my mind again. I smiled at Rosalie and she smiled back. She laid cold lips on my cheek. She lifted me into the air and it occurred to me that moving didn't hurt Bella anymore. I could reach for him with my arms, my legs. I knew he was close. I looked up into his eyes, finally seeing them without Bella to pull my attention away. He was beautiful, dark, unlike Rosalie or Edward. He was huge. He was perfect. He was mine.

Rosalie pulled me closer to herself and I needed Jacob back. As I could no longer reach for him, I reached to her, filling my thoughts with my need for him, that moment seeing him. Rosalie gasped and froze. Jacob had come closer and I turned to him. He knelt next to us so that his eyes were level with mine. Rosalie still hadn't moved. I stretched a hand to him and she finally shifted, holding me tighter. I didn't understand. Why couldn't I reach him? I touched Rosalie again.

I hadn't taken my eyes from Jacob's face and now it bore lines over and between his eyes. Then a small curve came to his mouth. I learned what these expressions meant as I examined them. The first, I was sure, was confusion. It looked like how I felt trying to understand. The second, I felt through his eyes as they glittered, amusement. My mouth copied his before he spoke. "Thinking too hard about something, Blondie? Didn't strain anything I hope." Blondie. That was Rosalie. Blondie was Rosalie. Was that how I was Renesmee and baby? That made sense and comprehension caused my mouth to curve wider, my own amusement reflected in Jacob's. I reached for him again. He looked back at me and reached for me too.  
Rosalie continued to hold me back. I was becoming annoyed with her. Hadn't I explained that I needed him? But they used voices. Maybe she hadn't understood me. As I started to reach back to her again, Jacob asked, "May I?"

This seemed to be what Rosalie needed. She grunted. "I don't trust you with her, Dog. You've been fairly clear on what you think of the baby. Why should I think you won't kill her when I let go?" I only understood part of that. I recognized concern, and I was sure she directed it at me. And 'Dog' was Jacob. I tried to keep these second names straight so I would know who was talking to whom in future.

"You're faster than me," he admitted reluctantly, "so stop me if I make a move you don't like." He reached for me again and I stretched one arm to him.

Being held by Jacob was easily as wonderful as being held outside by Bella. Not quite as perfect as being held within her, but I had more room out here and I could see and understand so much more. This was better. He was also warm. He bent his head over me and I saw a white hand catch his chin before it came any closer. I reached past it to his cheek, which was finally within reach. I filled my thoughts with him. His laughter and voice while I was in Bella, his eyes just now for the first time. I remembered him telling us to stay with him. Well, telling Bella, but I was sure he could tell I included myself. He flinched then, separating my hand from his cheek. The hand on his chin pulled his face up. Rosalie and Jacob were looking at each other now.

"You saw it, too?" she asked him. "I knew something had to have put your face in my mind; it's usually your smell that lingers." She wrinkled her nose.

"That was her?"

"What else could it have been?"

Success! They could understand me.

"I'm so sorry. Sorry I didn't see how amazing you would be."

I felt his affection. It made me happy. And I understood sorry, regret. That was how I felt when I hurt Bella. Jacob kissed my forehead and Rosalie made a low sound.

"Settle down, Blondie. I'll never hurt this little girl. I won't let anything hurt her. She's my world now." His voice was husky and serious, full of emotion. He held me tighter.

I heard another hushed sound; it was one of the voices I didn't know as well. Looking in her direction, I saw the small person with spiky hair. "Edward told me about this..." She suddenly disappeared up the stairs.

Rosalie dashed after her - how did they move so fast? - and Jacob followed with me. His feet seemed to drag in comparison.

Edward was in the same room as before. The small one was hissing at him and he had a hand on his face. Rosalie was shaking her head. There was something lying behind them. Rosalie came up to us. "Well, perhaps I can trust you after all, Dog. But remember that we all love that little girl." Then she strode out. The one with spiky hair followed and we were alone with Edward. And Bella, I noticed. She was still on the table. But she was so different, I didn't recognize her. She didn't look different, but she was lacking everything that made her the one who held me. Just as I was no longer inside her, it seemed nothing was.

"Listen, Edward, you know this isn't something I chose, right?"

"Yes." He didn't raise his head. "She called for you. I couldn't understand, tried not to understand." He growled and raised his flat back eyes. Jacob's arms tightened on me. Was he afraid?

"Yes, Renesmee, he is afraid." Edward had answered me. He could hear me without me touching him. I leaned to him. What else could he tell me? "But he needn't be. Hurting him would hurt you. I can't do that. But, Jacob, I would appreciate some time alone with my daughter."

Daughter, that was me too. How many things was I?

"Of course. I should, let the others know... everything. And," Jacob yawned hugely; I thought his chin was going to bump me. "I could really use some sleep."

Edward took me into his cold arms, and I watched with a little sadness as Jacob left the room. Edward growled quietly. That made me turn my attention and eyes to him. Edward, the low melodious voice, he loved me and Bella.

"Yes, you and your mother are the most precious things to me." He could hear me. Someone came in.

"Don't let me disturb you. I just thought I'd... clean up a bit." The one with the spiky hair was back, and she carried a mop and bucket. What were they for?

"That's Alice. She's going to use the mop to wipe the blood from the floor." Edward was perfect! Now I knew the words for so many things! Blood. That was what tasted so good, what gave me strength, what I needed most after breathing. Alice. That was the name of the one with the black hair. I squirmed in his arms with pleasure.  
He smiled down at me. "Any other questions I can answer for you?"

"I know Alice. Thank you," Edward said next. I was sure Alice hadn't said anything. Was he hearing her like he heard me? "Yes I can hear her, too."

The floor was white again and Alice came over to smile at me. "You like it now, kid. Give it a decade, he's terribly annoying." She stuck her tongue out at Edward and left the room again.

He laughed at her and then kissed my head. "She's right. You'll wish you could hide your thoughts like your mother before long."

I couldn't imagine that. It was wonderful being able to make myself understood. And with Edward that was so easy.

"Prepare yourself, you're going to meet the rest of the family." There were new sounds below us and then bodies surrounded us. This was family.

"Yes, Carlisle. Everything seems to have gone as well as we'd hoped. The morphine seems to be working for her." Edward turned to the body on the table. He handed me to a woman with dark hair. Why had he let me go? Could he still hear me? Who was this?

"That's Esme, Renesmee. My mother, your grandmother. Straight into her heart, but I still augmented in the major arteries. Jacob used manual compressions to keep her going until the venom took over, but I think it worked. Alice seems sure. I was worried when she didn't react to the pain, but that must be the morphine."

I stopped listening to Edward, who obviously wasn't talking to me anymore, and focused on Esme. Her eyes were warm gold. Her smile was warm, too; only her arms were cold. "So you're Renesmee. I'm very happy to meet you." I reached for her neck, showing her herself and that I liked her.

She gasped. "It's all right, Esme. That's her form of expression." Edward spoke to us before returning to his revision of recent events with the one he had called Carlisle. "The placenta, I kept, it's over here..."

I reached for Esme's throat again, this time thinking of the other man behind her, the one next to Rosalie. He was big, but not in the same way as Jacob. "That's Emmett. He is Rose's husband and your uncle." She passed me to Emmett, who held me awkwardly. Rosalie laughed at him.

His arms were rigid and he didn't hold me against him as the others did. I showed him how they did it and he relaxed a little bringing me to his chest. "That's just weird," he complained. Weird. What did that mean?

Edward answered me with a laugh, "Around here, it doesn't mean much."

He and Carlisle had returned to us. "Renesmee, this is Carlisle. She understands us. She is very curious and learning quickly. Carlisle is my father, your grandfather."

Father. Was that what Edward was? "Yes," he answered simply but pride seemed to beam from him to me.

Carlisle took me from Emmett with ease. He held me only a second before passing me again to Esme. Did he not want to hold me? I was almost hurt.

Edward chuckled, "I'm sure he'll hold you again soon, but he needs you to hold still right now." I did as Edward instructed and watched a yellow tape stretch from my head to my toes. Then it wrapped around my head.

"Well, I'm going to hunt now that you're all back. Edward? Are you going to join me?" Rosalie looked at Edward with meaning. Hunt. I remembered that word. It was important.

"We hunt for blood, Renesmee. No, Rose, I will not be joining you; I will stay with Bella."

Rosalie sneered at Edward and then spun on her heel. What did that mean? Would Jacob be back soon?

"She's just grumpy, and as for Jacob..."

"Jacob?" three melodious voices asked together.

Edward growled again. Why didn't he like Jacob? He growled louder. I didn't understand, and Edward wasn't answering, so I asked Esme, who still held me.

"Um... this is very odd. I think she loves Jacob. But that doesn't make any sense. And Edward isn't going to hurt Jacob. I think he just wishes you didn't feel so strongly for him."

"Yes." Then he relaxed a little. "Although that benefit might just make it worth it. Apparently, the one a wolf imprints on is untouchable by any of the others. We won't need to worry about Sam or the rest of the wolves once Jacob explains that he has imprinted on Renesmee." He put his hand back on his face, his nose, as he spoke. He didn't like this... imprinting. Was that Jacob and I? Edward nodded without removing his hand.

I heard a loud laugh. "Jacob's in love with the baby!" Emmett started to double up with laughter. "I'm sorry, Edw..." he couldn't finish the name for laughing so hard. He nearly stumbled out of the room. We could still hear him laughing outside.

"May I?" Carlisle asked Esme. She passed me back to him. I was glad to have another chance to see him closely. I smiled at him after a few minutes. Then I showed him my memory of Bella. I wasn't sure why he'd want to see that, but after talking so long with Edward about my birth, I thought he might like my view of it.

"Amazing! She was cognizant before birth? Poor Bella. You did excellently, Edward. Quick, direct response. I couldn't have done any better myself. I might have been a better assistant than Jacob, though." He smirked.

Edward finally took his hand from his face to look at his father. "Undoubtedly."  
"And you say she's learning?"

"As quickly as she can. She likes to hear us talk; our words help her name the concepts she has. She is also working to identify words and concepts she heard before she was born. Right now, her biggest hurdle has been understanding names, nicknames, and relationships. She is Renesmee, baby and daughter, for instance."

"Fascinating."

"Carlisle, if there is nothing more to examine right now, perhaps we should give father and daughter some alone time?" Esme suggested.

I liked that idea. I wanted to focus on Edward; he could help me understand. He took me and walked over to Bella as the others left the room. He cocked his ear as though listening to something. I couldn't hear anything particular. Well, Emmett, he was STILL laughing downstairs.

"It's not that funny," Edward moaned. "You can't hear your mother's heart beating? That's what I'm listening to. It's steady but changing. Soon she will look different, and she will be cold like us."

But not me, I thought, I'm not cold.

"No," he agreed. Then he spent a moment looking into my eyes, and I learned his face. It was very pale. His eyes were black like Jacob's, but he had very dark circles under them. What colour were my eyes? Black? Gold?

"Brown, like your mother's."

I liked that. It made me smile. What else did I have that Bella had?

"You are beautiful like she is."

I liked that too. I liked the sound of his voice. I was starting to realize just how long the day had been, the light wasn't coming in the window anymore. Why was that?

"That's the sun. It sets at night, it will rise again at dawn."

Dawn. I held that word and the idea of coming light.

Then Edward began to hum and eventually sing to me. I could concentrate on nothing but the music. I had never heard music before. The voices of my family were melodic, and I recognized the different tones, but I had never heard them arranged like this. I learned the scale, thirds, fifths, rhythm. And as before, the overwhelming knowledge rushed me off to sleep. The last thing I heard was Edward whisper, "That's my girl."

I woke in Rosalie's arms. I sat up. She seemed startled by that. I guess I hadn't done that yesterday, but my body could now.

"Good morning, Renesmee. How did you sleep?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that. I touched her cheek and showed her some of my dreams: bright colors, warmth, Bella, Jacob.

She grunted at the end. "Nightmares."

I didn't understand; that sounded bad, but everything I'd shown her had been good. She ran her hand through my hair and kissed the top of my head. It felt nice so I let the confusion go.

As Edward had promised, the sun was rising and giving new light to the day. What would I discover today? I was excited to find out. Before I'd gotten ready to ask Rosalie where Jacob and Edward were, Carlisle entered with the yellow tape again. He wrapped it around my head. I reached for him as he did so, asking why he did this.

"We want to know how quickly you're growing." His brow creased and I knew my growing wasn't good. I didn't think that was something I could stop, though. "Will you lie down for me, Renesmee?" I complied and he stretched the tape along my body again. He shook his head. "It's not surprising she's sitting up given her size." He seemed to be muttering to himself. Did that mean I was big or small? Big, I guessed. I felt bigger than before. My arms reached further.

I reached to Carlisle again, asking for Jacob. He was a little flustered. "Um... I don't know where Jacob is. Maybe still asleep."

Asleep. That was what Rosalie had asked me. I had been sleeping and Jacob was asleep. I logged this concept with the others. I sat back up and began looking around for more information. I saw the blond man I hadn't been introduced to last night. Carlisle had turned away from me to talk with Esme so I asked Rosalie who he was.

"That's Jasper. He's Alice's husband. He and Emmett are your uncles." Uncles and husbands, men. I logged that too. He was with Alice. Just like Emmett had been with Rosalie when I'd met him. That was what husband meant, I decided.

For the first time today, I noticed that I wasn't wrapped in one piece of cloth anymore, but several. I had one around my waist and between my legs, one over my legs and one over my torso. As I looked at myself and then Rosalie, Esme and Alice, I also discovered I was attired more like them. I liked that. I wondered what the words for these things were.

Where was Edward? He would have told me if he were here. Rather than ask Rosalie about clothes, I asked her about Edward.

"He's with your mother, sweetie. I don't imagine he'll leave her any time soon."

_ Could I go to him?_ I asked.

"Well, I suppose you could." She hesitated in her words. She didn't want me to. Well that was all right, I supposed. I could learn other ways. I tried to listen to words around me. Alice and Jasper were talking about wolves. I wonder what they were. Edward had used that word last night too, when he talked of Jacob and me and imprinting. There were wolves here. I wondered what a wolf looked like. They were dangerous, but some were friends.

I was thirsty. I hadn't had blood yet today. I reached to Rosalie again. "Of course! I should have gotten that straight away." We were in the kitchen and she filled a bottle with blood. I bit the end off, sending blood all down my new clothes.

"Graceful like her Mama."

I turned to Jacob, sending blood down my arm, too, and reached for him. What had he said? Mama. Who was that?

Alice chided him, "Please, Bella was clumsy, but never so messy."

Bella was Mama? I liked this word. It expressed her so much better than mother. Mama was the one who held me. I threw my arms to Jacob, trying to stretch right out of Rosalie's reach. She grumbled, "I think she wants you."

"Course she does." He tossed me in the air and the rush was wonderful. There were gasps all over the room. "C'mon, people, you've never seen anyone do that before? Yeesh! Have a good sleep, Renes... what a name. Ness?"

Ness. I liked that. I could be Renesmee and baby and daughter. Why not Ness?

"Jeepers, kid, how fast are you growing?" I felt frowns on us from all around the room. I was growing too fast. I still didn't think I could stop that. As Jacob cradled me to him, I touched his cheek to ask him if there was anything I could do.

"You can't, kid. Bah, I grew fast too, and there's nothing wrong with me." I heard a snort from Rosalie. "Don't listen to her if she tells you otherwise," he whispered to me.

"Let me have that," he told Rosalie, reaching for the broken bottle. He popped the nipple off and let the blood dribble slowly into my mouth. I put my hands on either side of it, controlling the flow.

His nose wrinkled. "Can't say I'm thrilled with the diet, kid, but I like feeding you anyway."Thrilled. That seemed to be something like happy. Feeding was what I was doing. What was diet? Could it be what I was eating? That would make sense. Of course Jacob would help me learn.

I finished the bottle quickly and then showed Jacob the sunrise. "Yeah, let's do that. I'm gonna take Ness outside, anyone wanna come?"

Rosalie joined us as Jacob carried me down the steps and sat in the green.

"Edward says she understands us and is trying to learn," Rosalie said.

"Then she'll love this." Jacob set me belly down in the green. Rosalie had her cold hands on my waist, but they were knocked away. "I swear, none of you leeches know anything about babies. They're supposed to spend time on their stomachs. That's how they learn to roll over. Also, how's she supposed to learn what grass feels like if she doesn't lie in it?"

Grass. That was what the green was. Lots and lots of little blades brushing my arms and cheeks. It smelled good.

I pushed myself up on my arms to see over the blades. I could see the sun shining in the clouds, more green on the horizon, a different shade. I could hear music, but not like Edward's, less styled, wilder. Then I saw one. The little brown creature stood on two legs, ten or twelve body lengths away. It opened its mouth; that's what it must be, but it was hard and pointed, not like lips at all. The sound came from it. I held myself up on one arm and pointed.

"She's strong," Jacob commented. "I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure two-day-olds can't do that."

He laughed. "That's a sparrow, Nessie. A bird. Do you like his song?" He lay down beside me, seeing with me.

I tried to pull myself forward but fell on my face. Grass smelled good, but it tasted terrible. I tried to spit out a blade but it seemed to be stuck to my chin and lip. I spluttered, trying to shake it off.

Jacob laughed again and wiped my chin with a finger. The sparrow jumped down into the grass. It hopped toward us as Jacob whistled to it. How did he do that? I shaped my lips the same way, but nothing happened. Suddenly, the bird spread its wings and flew off. That was amazing! How did it do that? I watched it fly until craning my neck made me flip onto my back. I looked up. The sky was a mass of clouds. I looked at the dark and light patterns outlining where one cloud ended and the next began. What were they made of?

I saw Rosalie standing at my feet. I tried to roll to Jacob. I kicked my legs, nothing happened. I flailed my arms, nothing happened. Then Rosalie picked me up.  
"Did a good job scaring the birds away, psycho."

"Oh, please. It wasn't going to come any closer anyway. She got a good look, didn't you, Renesmee?" She seemed to emphasize my full name. But I liked Ness. "What else can we show you?" She walked to the river nearby. I heard the bubbling as we approached.

Jacob was at her side. "Oh yeah. Good one." He sat on the shore and stuck his bare feet in. "Take off those silly leggings, though." He tugged at my toes and I felt the cloth sliding away. The air on my legs was lovely.

Rosalie sat beside him, lifting her skirt a little to keep it out of the water. She held me upright facing her and let my toes dangle in the stream. The water was moving. It was cold. Then it was in my face. I spluttered again.

"Oh, jeez, sorry, Ness. I just wanted to hit the blonde."

"Lovely, I'd return the favor, but dog is bad enough. I don't want to experience wet dog." Wet. I was wet. Then I was wetter. Jacob had jumped in the water, splashing both of us. I felt my hair clinging to my forehead.

He tossed his shirt beside Rosalie. "Here, give her to me." He cradled me and pulled off the dress, leaving the cloth between my legs. Then he laid me on my back, holding only onto my neck, under my head. My legs were pulled up by the water and I was floating. It was almost like being inside Bella again. A lot colder and a lot roomier, but similar. I kicked my legs and made splashes of my own. Jacob let go of my neck and I drifted with the stream, right into his stomach.

He laughed. "Thought you'd like that." I squirmed some more and he set me down again, one of his long arm lengths away. I drifted into him again.

Rosalie's cold hands snatched me from the water and wrapped me in Jacob's shirt. "Don't want her to get cold."

Jacob frowned and muttered but didn't try to stop her, just jumped onto the shore and followed us into the house.

_ I saw Carlisle through the windows talking to a man almost as big as Jacob. Who is he?_ I asked Rosalie.

"Jacob, she wants to know who that is."

"That's Sam. He is, was, my Alpha." Alpha. That sounded like a person in charge, sort of like father. "Why isn't he wolf, though?"

Wolf. I thought wolves were bad.

Alice answered. "Edward refused to translate when Sam arrived; he isn't leaving Bella. Sam doesn't seem too put out by it. He trusts us more than we thought."

"Yeah. He wouldn't send the pack after you as soon as Bella was back. That's what I wanted. Thought you'd broken the treaty already then. But you hadn't, didn't. You aren't our enemies. We understand that. He was only averse to letting an unknown danger come into the area."

He looked at me. I was danger? But danger was bad. I wasn't bad, was I?

"Of course I was right to stop him. The unknown wasn't dangerous at all. She is amazing." His smile warmed me. "Should I go out and... mediate or something?"

Jasper answered, "No hostility out there at all. Don't think they need a mediator. You might want to join your pack, though. They've got their hair up."

"Both of them?" Jacob asked. "Or just Leah."

Jasper snorted. "Yes, just the female."

Jacob sighed. "I'd like to just let her stew, but she's already miffed at me for going to La Push alone." I looked around Rosalie's shoulder to watch Jacob pass through the back and into the greenery.

Rosalie held me while we watched Sam and Carlisle talk. I was sad that I couldn't hear what they said. I could tell the others did. And since they weren't talking, I wasn't learning. I searched the room for something to take information from. I found interesting pictures on the walls. I spent the time looking at each one. I was examining the colors contrasting in a picture of something I couldn't identify. I was pretty sure nothing like that actually existed. The lines seemed to wrap in impossible ways; it made me think of how my mind held so much information as I learned.  
That was when Carlisle offered me a new cup. It didn't smell right.

"This is human baby formula. It is what human babies drink. They don't drink blood."  
Why would they drink this if they could have blood? I didn't understand. Then Carlisle was tipping the cup to my mouth and I was tasting the pale, thick liquid. Bleech. It was terrible. I flicked my tongue out, trying to expel everything that made it in my mouth.

"You are part-human, Renesmee. I'm not sure you shouldn't have some human food in your diet."

I closed my mouth tightly.

"Maybe you'll give it another try later." Not likely, I thought, unless the smell and taste change.

Now that everyone was in one place, they began talking again, about treaties with wolves, territories. It was great. I could learn from this. Then Jacob returned and brought something from the kitchen. He held a plate of food and began using a fork to lift it to his mouth. I questioned Alice, who held me now.

"He's eating. That's human food." It looked a lot better than what Carlisle had given me. Smelled better too. I asked to sit beside Jacob on the couch. I was glad Alice held me now, Rosalie probably wouldn't want to let go of me. Alice was much better about letting go. "You don't mind an observer, do you, Jacob?"

"Not Nessie, no." He grinned again and put the fork in his mouth once more.

I touched the things on his plate and he named them for me. Potatoes were soft and fluffy. They didn't smell like much, and when I stuck a finger of it in my mouth, they didn't taste like much either, but at least they didn't taste bad. Nothing else was in a form I could feed myself. When Jacob lifted a pea for me, they kept slipping away from my fingers, it tasted sweet. I didn't mind them. Not as good as blood but they were nice. The meat he ate smelled... wrong. Like it had had blood and someone had let it all out. Why would you want it after that? It wasn't in a form Jacob could give me, anyway. He drank from a glass of clear liquid. I was pretty sure it was water, though usually I saw water moving, from a faucet or in the river. He saw me staring and put the glass to my lips, too. Water had no taste, but it felt nice on my tongue. I took several swallows before pushing the glass away.

Carlisle came in then with his tape again. Was I growing? I hadn't felt myself growing, but I hadn't concentrated on stopping it, either; I was too busy learning. I laid down on the couch before he reached me, knowing what he wanted.

"Thank you, Renesmee."

"That's a good girl, Nessie," Jacob encouraged me. He saw the crease on Carlisle's forehead. "What's up, doc?"

"As I'm sure is evident to you, she is still developing VERY quickly. I worry what happens if it doesn't slow soon. If it accelerates."

Jacob frowned too now. "Any theories?"

"We're looking into the legends but they are scant and very little help."

I pushed to my shoulder, remembering my inability to get off my back earlier. This time I was able to turn my shoulder and leg in such as a way that the momentum pulled me over. And then I was in Jacob's arms. "Careful, Ness. Developing all right. She wasn't able to do that a couple hours ago." I realized now that I had rolled off the couch and he had caught me. What pulled me to the floor? It was inescapable, I realized. Even now, if Jacob's arms did not hold me, I would fall to the floor. That was like how I pulled Jacob. But what was pulling me?

"I wonder how quickly she digests," Carlisle was asking. "Has she had any..."  
I felt something between my legs. It was wet. It did not feel nice. I kicked my legs and wrinkled my face.

"If you were going to say wet diapers," Jacob wrinkled his nose as well, "I think this is the first."

Rosalie was there instantly and held a new cloth. She pulled the wet one from my legs, for which I was grateful, and lifted my ankles to put the new one in place. Jacob held me as she did all this, securing the diaper around my waist.

"There, that's better, isn't it, sweetie?" She lifted me from Jacob to kiss my cheek and hold me to her breast.

Carlisle held the wet one. "I'll be back." He went up the stairs.

"I don't want to know what he's going to do with that, do I?" Jacob asked.

"Just analyze the composition. See what she doesn't digest," Rosalie cooed. It didn't match the words she used. I wished she wouldn't do that; it made it harder to understand.

I was thirsty again and Rosalie brought me the blood I requested. With a full tummy, I drifted off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2: Baby Steps

Disclaimer: Breaking Dawn is written and owned by Stephenie Meyer. I'm just looking at it from a new angle, one closer to the ground.

* * *

I woke again, this time in Jasper's arms. He was better at holding me than Emmett the first time.

"Awake now, beautiful Renesmee? That probably means Rosalie will come steal you from me," he whispered very quietly, making it hard to hear. I thought it was Rosalie he didn't want to have hear him. I touched his cheek and echoed his soft words, imagining my eyes closed. He chuckled very softly. "She probably won't take you from me if you pretend to sleep. And in return, hmmm, what can I give you?"

I reached up my hand and thought of the pictures I'd looked at while Carlisle talked with Sam. My thoughts were filled with questions. He walked to stand under the one I had scrutinized the longest.

"This is an abstract painting. It uses perspective to give the illusion of infinity. If you try to follow the lines, you never reach the end. There is always a new edge to be found." That was like my mind, I would never run out of space to store all these wonderful things.

Rosalie found us then. "Alice said you'd disappeared."

Jasper's arms tightened a little on me. He didn't want to let me go.

"She would like to talk to you, actually. Apparently, she doesn't like you disappearing on her."

That convinced him; he passed me to Rosalie easily. "Another time, Renesmee," he said as he kissed the top of my head.

"Well, dear one, what shall we do now?" Rosalie asked.

I didn't know where to start. I pointed to the piano on its raised platform. I had no idea what that was or what it did.

Rosalie smiled at this. "I don't play as well as Edward, but I can show you what that does."

I was glad I was able to sit up now as Rosalie placed me in her lap on the bench and moved her fingers over the white and black keys. It was more music. I tried pushing one myself, but it didn't budge. Rosalie put her finger over mine and helped me press the note. I smiled up at her and sat back to listen to more. This music was much more complex than what Edward could sing. I'd learned thirds and fifths but hearing an actual chord was mesmerizing. I learned new rhythms and progressions and keys. I learned when and why she needed the half tones that the black keys provided. One day I would be able to do this, I was certain. I listened less and watched more, learning how she chose to place her fingers so that she could cross one over another to reach the next. I tried crossing my fingers and got nowhere. I didn't let myself get frustrated though, and as she reached the end of another piece, I touched her throat. I was thirsty.

"Of course," she cooed. Before she removed my hand, I showed her how much I appreciated her performance. "Oh, I'm sure you'll see and hear me play again."

When she lifted me, I saw for the first time that she had gathered a small audience. Jasper had returned, and Emmett leaned on the far end of the piano. Esme was sitting on the bottom stair.

"Aww, show's over?" Emmett whined. He came and put his arm around Rosalie. "You've got good taste, kid," he told me and walked with us to the kitchen.

I watched Emmett fill a cup from a strange looking sack. Looking in the chamber that he'd removed it from, I saw boxes and bottles, but nothing else that held liquid this way. Why was blood stored like this? It didn't seem a good way to dispense it as he unsealed the end and emptied half into one cup and half into another. He put one back in the fridge.

"Does she like it warm? Of course she likes it warm. Cold blood, disgusting." He turned a knob on another device and put the cup into a pot.

I reached for Rosalie, wanting to see what was inside. "That's a stove, it's hot. We're boiling water to warm the cup." She held me so that I could just see the clear liquid surrounding the cup. I could see bubbles forming on the bottom.

I started to see vapour rising. I stretched out a hand to the mist. Rosalie snatched me back, but not before I felt the warmth in it and then the wetness. Water made mist. That could be what the clouds were, lots and lots of mist risen very high. Of course they could be made out of the same things as my clothes. Edward could hear me and tell me, but I doubted anyone else would understand the image I put with that thought.

"That's probably warm enough," Rosalie told Emmett, who took the cup from the pot and turned the knob again. But it hadn't boiled; I didn't know what boiling was. I repeated Rosalie's words back to her, _boiling water_. "Turn the stove back on though; she wants to see the water boil."

Emmett did so, then flicked my nose with a finger. "You're too smart for your own good, kid. Enjoy ignorance a little, you can get away with a lot when people think you don't know better."

I didn't know what to make of that, so I reached for the cup instead, drinking while waiting for the water to boil. The bubbles increased in number, the mist grew thicker, and finally I heard the bubbles rising and breaking. I drank the rest of my cup while watching the water and getting some heat from the burner and steam. I didn't mind the cold of my family's arms, but the heat was nicer. I gave Rosalie the cup back and blinked drowsily.

Before I could drift off too much, Carlisle was back with his tape measure. I looked up at the ceiling, so far away, and wondered what I could do to stop growing. Part of me didn't want to. I was sure when I was bigger, stronger, I could push the keys on the piano myself. But still Carlisle frowned at the numbers he read. I might want to keep growing, but I needed to grow more slowly.

I asked for Emmett now, wanting to make sure he still knew how to hold me and that I liked his laugh. He laughed hearing his own laugh from me. The dimples popped into his cheeks and I raised my hand to touch one. Did I have those? I smiled and touched my own cheek. I was pretty sure I did.

"Yeah, Ness, you've got 'em too. Dimples. What was it Jacob did?" Emmett tossed me in the air and my grin grew. He did it twice more before a look from Rosalie made him stop. "Too high?" he asked her.

"Yes," she complained.

I replayed his comment about ignorance for him and he laughed. "Your Mom and Dad are going to love this." He proceeded to describe a series of causes and effects that would be interesting to witness. I was unable to conduct any of these experiments for myself, but made sure to keep them in mind for when I was. What was a frog? Where could I find shaving cream? What was it used for?

Around proposal number seven, Jacob came in. He picked up the thread quickly and added a couple of his own. _Cliff diving._ What was that, and why did everyone fall silent when he mentioned it?

"I'll tell you more about it when you're older. It's kinda like this," he said, throwing me up in the air, "but you fall a lot longer."

I would definitely have to try cliff diving.

"So, they been teaching you anything other than how to drive your parents insane?" he asked snidely. I showed him Rosalie playing the piano.

"Music's good. Course, I'd introduce you to some other tunes." He sang something in a language I didn't know, but it seemed to fit his husky voice. The sounds hopped between high and low so quickly it made a slur in his throat. I liked it; I showed him so.

Emmett whispered something to Rosalie and they headed upstairs. I noticed the sun was setting again and wanted to go outside before it was gone completely. I asked Jacob to name the trees and bushes. He was happy to oblige, giving me two names for each. The first usually sounded similar to the other words I heard, the second sounded like it belonged to the language of his song. I pointed the difference out to him.

"That's my language, the language of my tribe. It's very old and not well known." I liked learning. My head was full again and the dark made it harder to see the trees.

I heard a hooting, and he told me it was an owl. I saw it fly from one tree to another. "They don't let you see them often," he told me. "Usually you just hear them." It looked similar to the sparrow, with the same hard mouth. Could I focus an image enough for Jacob to tell me some of its parts? I showed him the beak, the wing, the foot, hoping he'd get the idea. He did.

"Ah, yeah, birds have wings. That's how they fly. They have two feet and some have talons. They are covered in feathers. Their hard mouth is called a beak and most have such small ears that you can't see them under their feathers. Owls can turn their heads far enough to see behind them." I watched the yellow eyes of the grey owl as he turned to look at us. Then I saw another pair of eyes, lower and much larger. "Hey, Seth. I'm just going to take Ness back inside; must be her bedtime. I'll join you soon." The eyes retreated again and Jacob took me into the house as I yawned. I didn't want to go to sleep; I was learning so much. But once curled up in Esme's arms, I didn't fight sleep for long.

* * *

I woke in Edward's arms this time. Bella was still lying in the room, but she was clean and wearing a pretty blue dress. She looked different. Not just empty but whiter, too. "Good morning, sleepyhead."

I smiled. _Is__ she whiter?_ I knew Edward would hear my question.

"Yes, she's changing."

_Like me? Like I am growing?_

"Sort of, but different. You change in addition to growing larger. She's just changing."

I had Edward to myself; I struggled to find a question to begin with. How about _clouds_?

"You are intuitive, like your mother. Yes, clouds are water, and when they gain too much water, it falls back to the ground. The same way the mist became wet on your hand."

I was right. I tried to clap my hands together, but missed. Apparently I needed to work on physical things, too.

"Don't worry too much about physical things. Your aunts and uncles will be happy to care for all those needs as long as you'll let them."

Before I could choose my next question, Rosalie was at the door. "Has she woken up? Oh! There's my girl! Need a drink, Nessie?"

My quest for the physical was met after blood, another measurement, and an attempt to get me to drink milk. That was only marginally better than the formula. At least it wasn't sour, but it curdled on my tongue. Esme set me on the floor with a number of small hard objects. They were all cubes and each one had a letter, a number, and several pictures on them. As I picked them up, she told me what was on each face. After I'd learned what each cube depicted, I practiced picking them up and throwing them; that got a laugh from Emmett. Finally I tried stacking them. I often knocked my own stack over with my arm before learning how to reach properly. Then I tried putting numbers together. One, two, three... one and two made three, one and three made four. I soon worked up to groups of two's, but I only had thirty blocks and they only depicted the numbers one through twenty. After that, I needed to imagine more plentiful things, like blades of grass or beats in a minute. I didn't know what the larger numbers were called, but with ten and twenty, I started to imagine how they would look.

When I had stopped playing with the blocks, working out what ten tens of ten would be, Esme thought I had become bored and used the letters to spell c-a-t, then found another block with a cat pictured on it.

Ah... My mind expanded further, putting the sounds with the letters to make words. I kept the A and C, pushing the T away. I took a J and B instead. I had to reach and knock over another tower to get an O but was able to spell JACOB.

Then I pulled more letters toward my self. Next I spelled BELA. Esme found a second L and corrected it. Then I tried for _Edward_, but didn't get much past ED. I had the AR but wasn't quite sure if I needed a W or if there was a letter that made DW or if I needed something else for the second D I had found. Esme filled in the gaps for me. Then I spelled ESMA which she also corrected. Right, A could be ay or ah. I put the A back in Jacob and pointed to it.

"I'm sure he's nearby," Esme told me. Carlisle came then with the tape again, and his eyes nearly fell out of his head at the blocks. "I just showed her cat," Esme told him. "She put the rest together."

I picked up a block and put it in my mouth. The scent had intrigued me, and I wondered at the taste. The taste wasn't good, but the smell reminded me of Jacob somehow. I looked closer at the block and saw the lines in the wood. It was the same as I had see in the broken trees last night. Wood came from trees. I bit the hard block, and a piece came off.

Carlisle took the block from me, "No, Renesmee. That's not food."

Well, of course it wasn't! I put my hand to my mouth and licked my finger to see the chunk I had broken. It had a sharp point. When I pressed it to my finger it dimpled, the skin turned slightly whiter and then pinkish as I let go. I grabbed another block and watched my nails turn white and then pink with the pressure. The pink was blood. I had blood in me, just like Bella had had blood in her. Was I hurting people when I drank blood? No, it came from a pouch. I wanted more. I laid still for Carlisle and then asked him for some. The warmth on my tongue helped me sleep again.

The sun hadn't moved far when I woke. I was in Esme's arms. She was in the room with Bella and Edward. Edward and Carlisle were talking quickly using long words, which I filed but couldn't understand. I replayed part of the conversation for Esme.

"I can't follow when they get going like this either," she admitted. "Mostly they say that you are healthy."

"She's awake? That wasn't a long nap." Edward came to look at me. "And not quiet dreams if I didn't notice the difference. You never stop learning, do you, Ness?"

I smiled. _No,_ I thought to him, _but you and Carlisle talk too fast_. The thought was petulant.

"If you want to learn medicine, baby, you're going to need more than an hour or two." His dark eyes glittered with amusement. "Best to focus on the more common things first, as you have been." He took me from Esme and showed me the pictures on the wall here. He told me stories about them. I asked the names of the objects, colors, the difference between oil and water color. I loved Edward; learning was so easy with him. When would he leave Bella and be with me?

"She'll wake soon, love. Then she'll want to help you learn, too. We'll teach you together."

_How long? _

"Soon. I don't know exactly when. Sometime tomorrow, Alice says."

_So... how long can I stay with you now?_

"You can stay with me till you fall asleep, if you like. Though I imagine someone will come to take you to feed before that." We were alone again now. Carlisle and Esme had slipped away during story time.

_Would you tell me more about Bella?_

He did. He told me about how good and selfless she was. How she was willing to die for me without ever knowing me. How they met. How hard it had been at first; how easy it would be now. How happy the three of us would be together.

I was being lulled by his story telling when Rosalie came to claim me. "Is she thirsty?"

I was as she said it, though I hadn't noticed before. "She just wants to steal you from me," Edward whispered in my ear, echoing my thoughts.

Rosalie sniffed. "I don't let Jacob monopolize her, why should I let you?"

He growled, "Because I'm her father, not her..."

He didn't finish his sentence. _What was Jacob?_ But Edward shoved me at Rosalie and went back to hold Bella's hand. _Have I done something wrong?_

"It's not you, Renesmee. You're perfect," he told me without taking his eyes from Bella.

With that we were down the stairs, and I had a cup of blood in my hands.

Another measuring came next. "Is she wet?" Carlisle asked Rosalie. That seemed odd. Of course I wasn't wet, I hadn't been in a sink or the river. He meant the diaper. I had an idea. I leaned out of Rosalie's hands to touch Carlisle. I showed him the human food I'd shared with Jacob, then the sensation of being wet.

"Hmmm, perhaps you digest blood more fully, but human food leaves excrement. That would certainly fit with us. We don't need to expel after feeding..." He headed up the stairs. I put my fingers together and pulled them apart, practicing making them meet. The action reminded me that I hadn't been able to pick up peas. My hands didn't do what I told them to all the time.

Then I was lifted from Rose's arms and spun in the air. I smiled, feeling the wind in my curls. _Jacob, Jacob, Jacob,_ my heart sang. As he lowered me, I touched his cheek, remembering him tossing me in the air. He did that a few times too, letting me fall farther and farther, until Rosalie growled and he settled for bouncing me on his knee. That was fun, too.

Rosalie huffed after a little while and left us alone. I grabbed Jacob's hand and tried to pull myself further up his leg. He figured out what I was trying to do and pulled me from his knee to his lap. He turned me to face the window, where the sun was starting to set. Tomorrow, Bella would be awake; I would get to see her again. She would be different, but she would be mine, just like Jacob was.

I felt a tug on my head and turned it. He'd pulled my hair! I wrapped a hand around one of his fingers and pulled that. Then I tried to climb his arm, as I'd tried to crawl in the grass. I was much more successful this time, but I felt his hand under my bottom hoisting me the last of the way to his shoulder. I tugged his ear because his hair was too short. He laughed at me. It was nice to have our faces so close. I reached out to touch his nose, too, pulling my hand back to touch my own after. They were very different. His was broad and rather long. Mine was short, almost pointed. I put a hand over his eye. He closed the other. As I pulled my hand away he turned to me and said "Boo!"

I started and nearly fell from my perch on his shoulder. He laughed again, letting me slide to his elbow. He sat me, facing him, in his lap and covered his eyes, then peeked between them and said, "Boo!" again. This time I didn't flinch. I didn't get it. Was this a game? I tried covering my eyes with my hands. Then I peeked out. He said, "Boo!" again and I smiled. He was funny. We made that exchange a few times, and the humour faded some. I mean, I knew he was going to say, "Boo;" he didn't move when I wasn't looking. What was the purpose of this game? I yawned, and he took the hint.

"Huh, Quil and Claire loved that game. What else can we do?" He lifted me to his shoulder again and took me outside where the sun had set. There were breaks in the clouds that hadn't been there before. I saw the pinpricks of light in the now dark sky. What were they? Then Jacob told me about the stars. He told me stories of his people and pointed out the constellations for me. It was easily as wonderful as Edward's stories. I listened to Jacob as long as I could, but eventually my eyes stopped following his finger as he pointed and my ears stopped hearing his beautiful voice. I drifted off to sleep, walking among the stars.

* * *

Special thanks to PTB Betas Rhii_anna and D3lla luna for helping me with the final cut of this chapter.


	3. Chapter 3: Mama

I woke with Jacob, as I had fallen asleep, although it was Carlisle that held me. Jacob was eating breakfast; I pointed at the white and yellow substance.

"Eggs," he told me and popped a small piece in my mouth. I liked eggs. I pointed again and he gave me another nibble from the end of his fork.

Carlisle nodded in approval, "So she's just particular about foods, like most humans."

After a third mouthful, I decided I wanted a drink to go with it. The next time Jacob's hand came by I nipped the back. Blood went really well with eggs.

"Rosalie!" Jacob hollered. "Is it my turn to feed Ness?"

He winked at Carlisle just as Rosalie burst into the room. "It is not."

She carried me away to the kitchen. I heard Jacob laughing behind me. After a good drink and a change - I liked eggs but were they worth wetting myself? - Rosalie sat me in her lap in a room I'd never been in before. There was a mirror that reflected her and a small child with bronze curls. I pointed in question and the girl in the mirror did the same. Rosalie didn't answer but picked up a brush and began pulling it through my hair. I watched the image do the same and then experimentally lifted my hand to my nose. The girl in the mirror did the same again. So she was my reflection. I waited for the brushing to finish. It felt very nice and made the curls lie much more prettily.

As she set the brush on the table I reached toward the mirror; I wanted to understand. Rose held me to it. I reached toward myself until our hands touched. The glass was cold and hard, flat. It was just an image. I smiled. When I pulled my hand away there was a foggy patch for a moment. I leaned from Rosalie and touched the glass again in a different place. The fog came and went again. It was caused by my hand for certain. I showed this to Rosalie and asked her to do the same.

"It won't fog for me," she said, but did as I asked. My hand was warm. Fog was caused by heat, just like steam.

I touched Rosalie and asked her about some of the objects in the room. She seemed hesitant to answer me. "This is a very human room, used for human functions." I didn't understand. I indicated the toilet by pointing. She flushed it, and I stared in wonder at the water swirling in the bowl. What was the purpose of this?

Jacob laughed from the door. "I don't think Rose would appreciate me demonstrating for you, Nessie."

"Certainly not. You'd teach her to lift her leg."

That confused me. I showed Rosalie the water swirling out the bottom of the toilet, something was supposed to go with it. "Ugh, do you want to explain this?"

"It's pretty simple, Ness. I don't have a diaper; humans empty themselves in one of these."

What went in the diaper should go in here? I looked into the toilet again. Well, if it went away without getting me wet, that would be good. Then I pointed at the sink.

Jacob answered again. "You sometimes get a little on yourself, so you wash your hands afterward." This time he did demonstrate. He flicked water at me before using the towel. I scrunched my face. Maybe I'd just avoid human food until I was able to use one of these. It shouldn't be too much longer. My legs felt strong enough to support some of my weight now. I was sure my attempts to crawl today would be much more successful.

"Rose," Jacob asked, "I'd like to introduce Ness to Seth and Leah." He sounded like he was expecting a no.

"You'll be human the whole time?"

"Absolutely. Won't let her out of my arms," he assented quickly.

Rosalie sighed. "I suppose she'll need to meet them eventually, if they trail you everywhere." She passed me to Jacob, and I stretched into his arms.

Seth and Leah came out of the trees. They weren't people. They were covered in hair with long noses. They were wolves! Were these wolves dangerous? Then the sand colored one turned into a man and pulled on shorts. "Heya, Ness!" He tossed me in the air like Jacob often did. He was warm, too, and smelled like Jacob. "Aw, com'on, Leah. She's great." He held me out to the reluctant grey wolf. She approached very cautiously and I touched the top of her nose, trying to show her how beautiful her coat looked. Her mouth opened a little, and her tongue caught my arm as she licked her nose.

Seth pulled me back. I reached up to his cheek and showed his morphing back to him. He laughed. "You're my kinda girl, Ness."

Jacob scowled. "What's that mean?"

"She thinks phasing is cool." I heard the grey wolf bark a laugh too. "Does she realize you're a wolf too, Jake?"

I spun my head to look at him. It was faster than even I expected. He grinned at me, then pulled off his T-shirt and pants. My little mouth hung open seeing the massive creature beside us.

Suddenly I was out of Seth's arms. "You promised, Mongrel!" Mongrel, Dog, Jacob - Rosalie's nicknames made sense now.

I reached up to her, showed her Seth holding me, that I wasn't in danger. At the same time, Seth protested, "Ah, com'on, Rose. I had her; it's not like she was gonna get hurt or nothin'."

Rose's eyes, despite their warm gold color, were icy. "I didn't ask you, Puppy." I touched her again, showing images of Jacob and I, me touching Jacob, but she turned to head back to the house. I flailed at her with my little fists, my face scowling. My swings were only hurting me, but got her attention. With each one I sent another image of wolf Jacob, his grin, his pink tongue. Me on his back.

"Absolutely not!" she shouted.

I touched her lightly, this time imagining her holding me beside Jacob, as Seth had done with Leah. She growled. I stuck out my bottom lip.

"Wow. That is just too damn cute. That should be an illegal weapon or something." Seth commented.

"Or something..." Rosalie muttered and stepped toward Jacob. I ran my hands through the fur behind his head. I pulled lightly on one of his ears. I ran my hand down his muzzle to his cold nose. I heard a low rumble and watched his eyes close. I tried to show him myself hugging his back.

Then Rosalie pulled me away from him. "That's enough, I think."

His coat was warm and lovely, but I was thirsty, so I didn't protest as Rosalie took me back to the house.

Carlisle measured me after lunch and presented some new human food. I was sceptical. He spooned it into my mouth anyway. It wasn't too bad. Thicker than milk or blood but not quite solid. It still didn't have a lot of flavor, but was vaguely sweet.

"Yogurt," he told me and put another spoon to my lips. I didn't want another wet diaper so I kept my lips tight. "It will make you stronger."

I was confused. I thought they didn't want me growing stronger? I opened my mouth and took three more mouthfuls before my stomach was full. I pushed the spoon away when he brought it again. It didn't feel like it was making me stronger, not like the blood did. I needed to find out if they really wanted me to slow growing, this human food might help with that. I really didn't like wet diapers though.

It was around the time I would have drifted off for a nap that all my relatives froze in place. Something was happening. Rosalie took me from Carlisle just as all of them ran up the stairs. I asked her why.

"Your mother is waking up."

Bella? She was done changing? Would she remember me? Would she still be the one who held me? Mama? I heard laughter from the room at the top of the stairs, first Emmett's and then a new high one. It still sounded like bells, but I knew it wasn't Alice, and I didn't think it was Esme. Was that her? When would she come down? How could I ask that? Just as I was getting really impatient, I heard a soft thud outside. Jacob moved to the window. I asked Rosalie to follow.

She complied, telling me, "She's ready to go on her first hunt." I saw Edward on the ground and the back of Bella's silvery blue dress. She was pulling off her shoes.

Did she know I was here? Why hadn't she come down the stairs? She and Edward ran to the river. She was a beautiful blur with her hair streaming behind her. I watched Edward vault the river. Would I be able to jump like that one day? It looked wonderful, especially the falling on the other side. Bella backed up and then paused. I heard Emmett laughing upstairs but didn't understand why. Then Jacob laughed, too, as she tore the cloth that restricted her legs. Well, of course she would. I never liked clothes getting in my way either. What was funny about that? Then I watched her fly even higher into the air until she disappeared in the tops of the trees.

How long would her first hunt take? I wanted her back; I wanted to know if she was still Mama or someone else now. I tried to explain this to Rosalie, but she just kept telling me she'd be back soon. I reached for Jacob, hoping he could help me. I showed him Bella before and Bella now, what I had seen. He understood. "I can tell you all about Bella. She's my best friend."

The rest of the family returned during his tale and added their own memories of Bella's antics, quirks, human weaknesses - her love. That was always top of the list. She loved Jacob; she loved her family. Even the human father that she couldn't see anymore. It was good to hear, good to learn about her. That was my Mama. Was this new creature Mama? She had changed, but how much? I could tell Jacob wondered the same thing. His voice carried a sad note. He thought he had lost his friend, that she would be very different. I became more and more impatient as the time dragged on, clinging tightly to Jacob.

Suddenly, what my uncles said distracted me. "I'll bet a hundred that she rips Jacob apart when she finds out," Emmett was saying.

"No bet," said Jasper. "I don't know how she's controlling herself as well as she is, but I definitely don't expect her control to hold out for that."

"I'll take some of that action," Alice answered.

Emmett scowled.

_Rip Jacob apart?_ Would Bella hurt Jacob? Could Bella hurt Jacob? I mean, he was a giant wolf; he would be safe, wouldn't he? I repeated the conversation to him, and Jacob laughed. "Can she? You bet. Will she?... Well, I wouldn't bet against a fortune teller."

Alice smiled but shook both our calm, "Yes, but I can't see you. I just know Bella. I don't doubt she'll take a few good swipes, but she won't actually harm you."

Emmett's smile returned.

I didn't want Jacob to get hurt. Before I'd really become accustomed to this new risk, Jacob handed me to Rosalie. "Guess I should be out there, to greet her."

Jacob was walking into the danger? I clamped down on his hand, hard, with my tiny teeth. I didn't want him to go.

"OW! Jeez, Ness!" I let go at his yell, but regretted it instantly as he turned to go. Still, even as he left, I realized that his leaving meant her coming.

"Good girl," Rosalie was murmuring to me, and Emmett laughed.

As much as I needed Jacob, right now I needed to know Bella more. And Alice didn't think she'd hurt Jacob. From everything everyone had told me, Alice was right. Bella might injure Jacob, punch or kick him, but she wouldn't hurt her friend. I heard growling from outside and remembered that Seth and Leah would be watching out for him, too. I relaxed only enough to feel the heavy anticipation that had been plaguing me all afternoon. Bella.

Then I heard a rustling, and she was there. She landed on the near side of the river, flying straight out of the trees. She was wearing Edward's shirt now, and I wondered what had happened to her pretty dress. Edward appeared behind her, moving so fast I didn't see where he came from. His hands held her, and I was glad he was helping protect Jacob, too.

Now that Bella faced me, I could see her pale white skin, just like the rest of my family. Her brown hair was in wild disarray and filled with sticks and leaves. Had she been in a fight? Or was this what happened when they hunted?

I heard Jacob explain why he was risking himself. "You think it would be better to let her near the baby first? It's safer to see how Bella does with me. I heal fast." She could hurt me. That was bizarre. If she did that, she was _not_ the one who held me. Now I could almost see her red eyes; they seemed to glow, even as small points, so far away.

Jacob was smiling. Was she Mama? Would he smile if she wasn't? "I gotta say it, Bells, you're a freak show." It didn't sound like he meant beautiful, which even if she was dangerous, she obviously was.

She was smiling, too, even though Edward growled at Jacob. "No, he's right. The eyes are really something, aren't they?" I had trouble making out her words, she was so much farther away than Jacob. Eyes? So they were red then.

"Super creepy. But it's not as bad as I thought it would be." He hadn't lost her, so she might still be the one who held me. I needed to be sure.

"Gee, thanks for the amazing complement."

"You know what I mean. You still look like you, sort of. Maybe it's not so much the look as you _are_ Bella. I didn't think it would feel like you were still here. Anyway I guess I'll get used to the eyes soon enough."

"You will?" she asked. Well, of course! He isn't going anywhere without me, and I'm not going anywhere without you, if you are my Mama.

"Thanks, I didn't know if you'd be able to keep it from her, promise or not," he was saying to Edward. "Usually you just give her everything she wants." Tell her what? Oh... imprinting. I supposed she wouldn't be any happier about that than Edward, although I still didn't understand why.

Edward replied, but being even further away than Bella I only caught a few words, "irritated" and "head off." _No!_ She couldn't hurt Jacob. I bounced in Rosalie's arms, anxious for my Jacob again.

"What's going on? Are you two keeping secrets from me?" Bella demanded now.

Jacob promised to explain later and started to walk toward Bella. Seth and Leah came out of the trees to flank him. _Thank you,_ I thought to them.

"Com'on, Bells. Do your worst." Leah made a tight noise and I wanted to do the same. _Don't taunt her, Jacob. You can't get hurt. You are mine!_

"I'm getting older here, Bella." _Please stop taunting her,_ I thought as the rest of his words flew away from me with the breeze. "Go on, take a whiff," I caught.

Bella said something to Edward I didn't catch either, but he held onto Bella again. She _didn't _want to hurt Jacob. She'd asked Edward to help her. She could still be Mama, if Jacob didn't act a complete fool and get himself killed.

"I can see what everyone's been going on about; you stink, Jacob!" she said to him. What? Jacob smelled perfect. People were laughing around me. Seth and Edward laughed too.

"Look who's talking," Jacob retorted. I frowned further. _Stop goading her._ Then Edward was hugging her. I didn't understand why, but this gesture made me feel warm inside. I liked Edward touching Bella. It made _me_ feel good. So, was she coming here now?

"Okay, so I passed, right? Now are you going to tell me what this big secret is?" she asked. She wasn't really thinking about that more than me, was she?

"It's nothing you need to worry about this second," Jacob brushed her off and Emmett laughed again. He was starting to annoy me. Did he _want _her to hurt Jacob? I thought he liked Jacob; well, more than Rosalie did, at least. My eyes never left the three on the lawn. I tried to pull her the way I pulled Jacob, but it didn't feel like it was working. What was she waiting for? I wanted to know her!

She was talking with Edward but far too softly for me to hear. He seemed to be consoling her, giving her confidence. She didn't want to hurt Jacob, and she didn't want to hurt me, although she knew she could. She looked ready to come to me when Jacob stepped in her way. What was he doing? I wasn't afraid she'd hurt him anymore but very annoyed he was making me wait. I was starting squirm with my impatience, and Rosalie tried to soothe me. Jacob was hissing at Bella, and I couldn't make out those words either. Finally I heard, "But."

"But nothing," Edward answered him. "Bella needs to see _our_ daughter. Get out of her way." Edward was going to make sure she came to me. _Thank you, Edward.  
_  
Jacob ran into the house and was at my side now. I reached to him and showed him I was irritated with this whole scenario. I did _not_ appreciate him setting himself in harms way. I did _not_ appreciate him holding Bella up. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "You'll get your way soon enough," he whispered to me._ I'd better._

She was closer now. I could see her shape, her red eyes, her unruly hair. I stretched around Jacob to see her better. Why was he in the way? Why wasn't Rosalie taking me to her? I showed her Bella as I saw her, only larger, nearer.

"Yes, that's her." My eyes narrowed very slightly. Why didn't Rosalie understand. But then I saw Bella looking at me, and I had to smile at her. I was almost certain she was my Mama.

Then she did the most wonderful thing in the world; she did what Rosalie hadn't understood and took a step closer. I stretched again and nearly wailed when my uncles stepped between her and I. Why, why, why did they make me wait? Why were the others joining them in front of me?

"Oh, give her some credit," Alice broke in. "She wasn't going to _do_ anything. You'd want a closer look too." _And thank you, Alice._ I had a lot of people to thank when they held me next.

"I'm okay. Keep close though, just in case." She wanted to see me, to hold me. I needed to know her.

I listened to Edward describe the near-miss on their hunt. That Bella had encountered human hunters and not pursued them. But I didn't care about any of that; I just wanted Bella. I wanted my Mama, and wished they couldn't keep me from her. I thrashed more than ever before, but Rosalie's grip was too strong. I tried showing her Bella, me, Bella, me, Bella, me. _Take a hint, Blondie!_

Then something in their conversation, Emmett specifically, caught my attention, "No, not really. You really didn't attack him?" Attack Edward! That would be terrible too. He was the one who heard me best, clearest.

Wait, Edward. _Edward, make them stop blocking her. I need her!_

"I would never," I heard her reply and was calmed by the fact. Then I shouted to Edward and yelled at Rosalie, _I want her_.

Alice interceded again to move Jasper from between us. Bella had a clear path. She was stepping toward me. I knew my family could move fast, why was she stepping so slowly? Was she going to make me wait, too? I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed my frustration and was almost as shocked as everyone else when the cry passed my lips. I didn't know I could do that.

Maybe they'd hear this if they didn't hear my thoughts. But rather than take me to her, Bella froze in place and everyone surrounded me, blocking her again.

"What's the matter? Is she hurt? What happened?" Jacob was asking Rosalie. Rosalie, not me! I was madder than ever. I felt hot wetness on my face and remembered Jacob telling me about Bella crying when she was mad. I screamed again.

"No, she's fine." Rosalie told him and passed me to him. I nearly slapped him to tell him I wanted Bella, now. Of course my little hand didn't hurt him at all, and my eyes never left Bella.

"See. She just wants Bella." Rosalie confirmed.

"She wants me?" Bella whispered. _Of course I want you._ I was becoming desperate.

Edward nudged Bella forward. "She's been waiting for you for nearly three days."

_Please, please, please, please. _I didn't know if Jacob was trembling from fear or sensing my anticipation.

"Jake, I'm fine," she assured him. I was still crying in frustration and anger. When would she hold me so I'd know if she was Mama?

Then she did. Jacob didn't let go, but it was enough. My tears were gone. She was the one who held me. This was her outside, true, but it was Bella's outside. I smiled at her, Mama, and showed her being held by her, closer, within, and then just as now. She was Mama. I let my hand fall back.

"What... was... that?" Bella asked.

I ignored everyone's explanations to examine every line of her face, many were different from before. The curve of her lips seemed to be the same. Her eyes were red, but I only saw love in them. Her hair was twisted and tangled. I caught my fingers in it, trying to smooth it the way Rosalie did with mine. They got stuck, so I just held on.

Carlisle's words snagged my interest momentarily. "Like she's doing the opposite of what you can do." Edward heard thoughts and I shouted them. That worked for me. _I love you, _I shouted at Bella. She did seem to hear me.

"I remember you, too," she told me. Then she kissed my head. It was like ice, but sent a shock through me just the same.

"Haven't we experimented enough for one day?" Jacob interrupted my beautiful moment. He was stepping wrong with me today. "Okay, Bella's doing great, but let's not push it." I saw Bella's eyes narrow and felt her pull me a little from him.

"What's your problem, Jacob?" she asked. He moved with us.

Edward stepped in for us. "Just because I understand, it doesn't mean I won't throw you out, Jacob." That would work; Edward wouldn't hurt him, just make him go away. "Bella's doing extraordinarily well. Don't ruin the moment for her." _Or me!_ I thought.

"I'll help him toss you, Dog," Rosalie came to our rescue now too. "I owe you a good kick in the gut."

Suddenly Bella's face changed from the irritation I shared to true anger.

"No!" she rasped. Jacob pulled me back from Bella as her anger erupted.

"Rose, take Renesmee." Jacob gave me to Rosalie at her order. "Edward, I don't want to hurt you, so please, let go of me. Go stand in front of Renesmee."

Hesitating slightly, he followed her instructions as well. I was suddenly worried for Jacob again. At the same time, her anger made her even more beautiful, more fiery. "You didn't," she snarled. _Didn't what?_

"You know it's not something I can control," he explained while backing away. He was willing to protect himself now. I thought he would need to.

"You stupid mutt. How could you? My Baby!" She was gaining volume and losing control. Jacob didn't phase into a wolf though. Wouldn't he be better able to protect himself that way? What was he doing?

"It wasn't my idea, Bella!"

"I've held her all of one time and already you think you have some moronic wolfy claim to her? She's mine." But they were both mine. I didn't want them to hurt one another. I remembered being inside Bella and wanted to shout "enough" at both of them.

"I can share," he was pleading.

"Pay up," Emmett told Alice.

"Not yet," she whispered back.

"How dare you imprint on my baby? Have you lost your mind?" She was upset about the imprinting too. Why? What was wrong with it?

"It was involuntary." I was happy to see Leah and Seth come to Jacob's defense then. Bella's snarl at Leah was feral and frightening. "Bella. Would you try and listen for just a second? Please? Leah, back off." I thought he was going to defend himself! _Don't let her hurt you, Jacob._

"Why should I listen?"

"Because you're the one who told me this." Even as he began reminding Bella of her wish for Jacob to be in her life, to be family, I remembered the stories Jacob and the others had told me, about how Bella really did love Jacob. Was it so wrong for me to love him too?

"You think you'll be part of my family as my son-in-law?" she screeched at him. I understood 'son', but 'in-law' was new to me.

"By marriage," Edward whispered to me, his voice nearly growling.

Marriage? Like Rosalie and Emmett or Alice and Jasper. That was just silly. I loved Jacob, I wasn't marrying him. Jacob was echoing my thoughts.

"That's my point," Bella replied.

"You know I don't think of her that way. Do you think Edward would have let me live this long if I did? All I want is for her to be safe and happy. Is that so bad? so different from what you want?" I wanted Jacob safe and happy, too. _Don't hurt him, Mama!_

I tried not to listen to Edward and Carlisle commenting on Bella's self-control. It looked far too shaky for my tastes. I was more assured by Emmett paying Alice.

"You're going to stay away from her." I squirmed at Bella's words. No, I needed Jacob.

"I can't do that."

"Try. Starting now." No, she didn't mean it, did she?

"It's not possible. Do you remember how much you wanted me around three days ago? How hard it was to be apart from each other? That's gone from you now isn't it?" That was me. I'd pulled him then. "That was her," he confirmed. "From the very beginning we had to be together, even then." His words sounded magical to me, like they were binding us as he said them. Edward ground his teeth.

"Run away while you still can," Bella warned Jacob. She wasn't being reasonable. She had to be able to understand this.

"Com'on, Bells. Nessie likes me too." Of course I did, and I didn't want him laying his neck out for her to bite.

"What did you call her?" Bella asked

"Well, that name you came up with is kind of a mouthful and..." Jacob stumbled on his explanation.

"You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?" She was screeching again, and I knew her control was breaking. I squirmed harder, in fear for Jacob. She lunged at him.

_NO!_ I screamed in my mind and a screech broke my mouth too. But Seth had jumped in the way. I sagged in Rosalie's arms, exhausted, but thankfully Bella seemed appalled at what she'd done and was backing away now. Carlisle came forward and instructed Seth to phase back.

"It's okay now, Ness," Edward told me before going to console Bella. He was right. Jacob was already coming toward me. I stretched my arms to him, wanting to check for myself and chide him for not keeping better care of himself.

He laughed at me, "Ah, Alice knew what she was talking about. She wasn't going to hurt me." The warmth of Jacob's arms comforted me, but also reminded me how long it had been since my drink. "Rose? I think she's thirsty again." I had nicked his thumb and licked the trickle that came. The trickle dried immediately. He did heal fast.

I waved to Alice, Esme and Emmett as they left to hunt again. I heard Leah growl in the trees. "Cool it, Leah," Jacob told her. "Carlisle's got him. He'll be fine soon."

Rosalie returned with my cup, but she and Jacob were arguing over who would give it to me. I rolled my eyes, but neither saw. I touched Rose and reminded her that she had fed me this morning. "Your turn, Dog." The cup sloshed as she thrust it into his hand. I leaned and caught a couple of dribbles as the slid down his wrist.

"Yeah, just a little thirsty," Jacob said sarcastically. I'd become acquainted with sarcasm quickly. I swallowed the contents greedily when he gave the cup to me.

Filled again, I returned to wanting Bella. Especially now that she had calmed down. I didn't tell this to Jacob, but he gave me to Rosalie, who carried me to the house. I was grateful. And there she was, next to Jasper. She looked troubled. We were together again, what was troubling her?

Now I knew why I had been brought without prompting. Carlisle was there with his yellow tape. I felt myself over, mentally. I kept forgetting to concentrate on not growing. I hadn't had any more human food either. I exhaled heavily at my lack of effort.

Bella was surprised that we did this so often. Maybe, if I could concentrate on slowing the growth, eat more human food, we wouldn't need to do this so much. I had so much more to do, to learn.

"What do we do?" Bella asked.

Jacob gave me hope that my growth was slowing. Maybe a little effort on my part would be enough. I wanted Mama again. She was so close now. I told Rosalie this.

"How are you?" Rosalie asked Bella, still worried about her control. She looked calm to me.

"Worried," was Bella's reply. Worried about me. I would be all right. I was sure I could help with this now.

"We all are, but that's not what I meant."

"I'm in control," Bella assured her.

I was so happy to be held by Mama again. She stopped being Bella now. Now she was Mama. She was Bella when she attacked Jacob. I didn't want that beautiful terror to hurt him, ever. I showed her all this.

"Oh wonderful," Mama groaned. What was wrong?

"It's just because he tastes better than the rest of us," Edward told her. Was she troubled by my love for Jacob? Still?

"I told you, she likes me, too," Jacob joked and she turned to him. I was glad he was near, but I had so much more to share with her, now that she was here. Would she understand me as well as Edward? I decided to start with my discovery of the mirror this morning. My annoyance with the time taken in measurements, but how strong the blood made me...

Why had Edward taken me from her? "What did I do?" Mama asked. It occured to me - it wasn't what she had done, but what I had.

"But she was remembering being thirsty. She was remembering the taste of human blood."

Jasper tensed his hold on Mama. _I won't do it again,_ I thought to Edward. I hadn't known I shouldn't.

"Yes. And?" Mama asked Edward.

He laughed "And nothing at all, it seems. The over-reaction is mine this time. Jas, let her go." As soon as he did, I reached for Mama.

"I can't understand," Jasper complained, "I can't bear this." Then he left. _Why? _I asked Bella. What didn't he understand? Something about Mama I was sure.

"He'll be back," Edward told us. "He just needs some time alone to readjust his perspective on life." How had Mama made him do that?

"Is he mad at me?" she asked.

"No, why would he be?"

"What's the matter with him then?"

"He's mad at himself, Bella. He's worried about self-fulfilling prophesy, you might say. He's wondering if the newborn madness is as serious as we all thought." I didn't hear the rest.

_Madness? Newborn?_ I was newborn, but so was Mama. We were alike in that way. Neither of us were mad. We both wanted blood but neither of us were willing to do anything to get it. Was Jasper? No, certainly not.

"You are making him question a lot of deep-rooted assumptions, Bella," Edward was saying when I caught back up with the conversation. That's why he was gaining new perspective. If one so new to drinking blood could control the need, wouldn't anyone be able to?

"Perhaps what Bella is doing goes beyond the natural," Carlisle was saying now. "Maybe this is her gift, so to speak."

Mama's hold froze on me. Why did this bother her? Of course she was gifted, but I didn't think this was special to her, after all it wasn't special to me.

"That's an interesting theory," Edward mused.

Mama sighed. Was she happy now, relieved, or sad? Sad, I thought. Troubled.

"Have you ever seen an equivalent to self-control as a talent? Do you really think that's a gift? Or just a product of all her preparation?" Edward was thinking again.

Now Carlisle and Rosalie were talking about an Irish family, and I wasn't interested any longer. I wanted Bella's attention again. I wanted her to know everything I knew. More than that, I wanted to know everything she knew, but I didn't have a way to do that. I'd have to be satisfied with showing her what I'd learned and hoping she could add to it. I remembered as long as I could, until missing my nap this afternoon caught up to me.

* * *

Thanks to PTB betas batgirl8969 and Jenniemae2013 for helping me with this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4: Charlie

Renesmee meets Grandpa, and a little explanation on why he's Edward, and not Dad.

* * *

When I woke, Mama was gone. I missed her immediately, but Jacob was there, so I asked him where my parents were.

"They're enjoying alone time," he told me.

Emmett laughed loudly, interrupting his conversation with Rosalie and Esme. They had been talking about Dartmouth. I had gotten the impression that it was a place, somewhere far away - a place of learning. I would like to go there. I looked to Jacob, hoping he would join this conversation so I could learn more and maybe ask to go with them.

He seemed troubled. Puzzling on the reason, I figured it must be because Dartmouth was far away; his people were here. I touched him and formed a picture of him and I together while the world spun around us, all the places we'd already been together. There weren't many, and none were far, but making them blur would give the impression I wanted, I hoped, that we would stay together.

He became more troubled, rather than less, and held my tiny hand. "Yes, Nessie. We'll always be together," he told me. Then he gave me to Esme and walked away.

I asked her where and why he'd gone. He'd never left quite so abruptly before.

"I don't know, dear. Maybe he has pack business we don't know about." That could be it. Without Jacob to ask, it was impossible to know. I set the line of thought aside, looking for another.

I wanted to learn. I wanted to see new things. I wanted Mama.

I showed all these to Esme, as well. She replied that Mama and Edward were busy, so I pointed to closed doors around the kitchen, wanting to see what they hid.

Obliging my curiosity, she opened one of the higher doors. Inside were matching vessels, which Esme told me were China – teacups, saucers, plates, bowls, she named each for me. China was cold and hard, but brittle.

Esme clucked her tongue when I broke a cup in half with my grip. I felt terrible. The flowers and gold on the outside had been so pretty, and now they didn't line up quite right. I handed her the pieces sheepishly.

"It's all right. I have many more in the set." She put the pieces in the sink and opened another door. This one held shiny pots and pans. They were large, and didn't look nearly as breakable. I asked her to pull one out.

Even though the pot was large enough that I could almost sit in it, I was able to hold and turn it easily. When I flipped it over, I saw the pretty copper bottom, and it made a lovely sound when my hand smacked on it. My closed fist made an even better sound. I tossed the pot on the counter and leaned over to bang on it some more. The sound was different in the middle of the bottom compared to the edge; I liked that. I moved my hand from middle to side, middle to side.

I could make music with this! Were there others? I looked back to the open door and saw two more pots, smaller than this one. I reached for them, and Esme obliged me, placing the pots in a row from largest to smallest and sitting me on the counter top beside them. The different sizes made different tones! I rapped my knuckles on each in turn and started throwing in some side slaps. I didn't know I'd be able to make music. It was fun!

It was loud, though, and soon Emmett was laughing and holding his ears. "Go Ness! Rimshot!" He flicked the edge of the nearest pot, sending the far one flying off the counter to the floor.

I followed its descent with my eyes, leaning over the counter after it. Esme stretched her hands out to catch me, but I hadn't lost my balance. Instead, I turned back to Emmett with a sour expression. He'd made me lose one. I hit the farthest pot from him on the side and watched the one near him fly into his chest. He caught it and roared louder. It was interesting how hitting one on this side could make the one on the other side move. I had watched closely to see how it worked. The first pot tapped the second and stopped, then the second moved as though it had been the one hit. It was the essence of momentum.

Carlisle was the next to put a stop to my fun, tying it in a neat bow with his yellow tape. For the first time, measuring me didn't make his brow furrow. I hadn't had my blood yet this morning, but surely sleeping wasn't enough to slow my growing. Maybe I didn't have to do anything, after all.

"Good news?" Esme asked, straightening from putting away the pots.

"A deceleration in growth. If the trend continues, well, she'll still be aging very quickly for a while, but it will definitely slow before she reaches full human maturity."

_Maturity?_ I asked Carlisle, repeating his voice in my mind.

"Adulthood. Ripeness. When most humans stop growing." All humans grew for a while, I just wouldn't grow for as long as they did. I nodded; my relief less than theirs as I hadn't been terribly concerned. "And I heard you percussing up a song down here!" he told me. "You definitely have your father's ear." _Percussing_. I guessed that meant playing, maybe banging. It meant what I'd done to the pots."I might ask you to find a slightly quieter instrument for your next composition." I smiled even more broadly and hoped I could. I would love to find new objects to make music with. Maybe the piano would play for me today.

"In the meantime, maybe she'd just like something else shiny," Esme suggested, pulling out a wooden box. I recognized the material by its grain now. My eyes glittered as she opened the box. Inside were slender utensils; some were forks, such as I'd seen Jacob use, some knives, but not like the one he used on his meat, and others spoons, like the one Carlisle used to feed me yogurt. I was very interested, then thrilled when Esme set me on the floor in front of the window to investigate. Rosalie sat with me. She, too, complemented me on my song, and I held up a spoon as she bent her head to mine to see us both reflected in it, just like in the mirror. But these weren't glass. I was sure. The reflection wasn't as perfect as the mirror either. I could recognize that it was us, but Rosalie's forehead was too narrow, my smile too broad. I raised and lowered the spoon as she straightened. The different parts of the spoon did different things to the reflection. Was that because of the material? I set down the spoon and picked up a knife as the others returned to their discussion of Dartmouth. I listened carefully, but didn't watch.

"The college life would do her good, and it's obvious she enjoys learning," Carlisle was saying after hearing their plans.

The knife did not distort my reflection, so it was not the metal. What else was different? I ran my hand over it and felt the tiny teeth in the side. They didn't cut or hurt me, but I could feel their rasp. Aside from the teeth, the knife was flat.

"We can't all fit in the New Hampshire house, though. Who would most like a semester with Bella and Edward? Alice, I'm sure? That would mean Jasper." Esme was saying.

I looked back at the spoon. It had a bowl, a convex and concave side. I realized now I'd been looking at the side that pushed out. I tried looking at the side that bowed in. The distortions were reversed. So if I flattened the bowl, the image would correct. I wanted to try.

"I won't sit back and watch Ness leave. I'm going, too," Rosalie insisted.

Emmett regarded me closely as I pushed into the bottom of the bowl; the spoon bent nearly in half. He laughed. I chucked the spoon at him and grabbed another. This time I didn't hold the stem, just the sides, and pushed with my thumbs. I had more success. The bottom buckled, but now the image was worse, not better. I frowned and threw this one in a non-Emmett direction.

"Well, I suppose the six of you might fit. We could go on a trip of our own, Carlisle. You're due for another break from the hospital," Esme said.

I picked up a fork. The image in this was only slightly distorted, at the bottom, after the tines met to the base met the stem. I tried pulling the top, but my hand just slipped off. Emmett laughed again, and this time I attempted to stab his foot with it. The tines bent in all different directions. He didn't notice my attack, but did notice my "oooh," as I admired the new effect. I heard gasps from the others at my spiky fork, but I ignored them. Laying that fork down carefully, I grabbed another. This time, I pushed the tines, folding each one out from the center in a different direction to make a four-pointed star. Very nice. I stood the fork upright, balancing on its tines. Carlisle picked it up, and I smiled at him, glad he like it, too. I decided to try another spoon.

I had folded this one several ways, unable to flatten the bowl, when movement outside caught my eye. It was Mama! I tossed the spoon and pointed. Before anyone could answer my request, she ran to me and held me. It was perfect. Her eyes were still brilliant red and full of love, but this time the color made me think of something else. I hadn't had any blood or human food yet today. I let Mama know before remembering that wasn't wise. Her face crinkled, but no one took me from her. Maybe I didn't have to be so careful with my thirst. I saw Edward on his way to the fridge. _I love you, Father. I love you, Mama._

"How long has she been awake?" Mama asked now.

"Just a few minutes. We would have called you soon," Rosalie told her. "She's been asking for you. Demanding might be a better description. Esme sacrificed her second best silver service to keep the little monster entertained." Mama was in a hurry to see me, too. The knowledge filled my heart with joy.

_Not entertained,_ i_nstructed, _I thought irritably at Rosalie_._ I was learning the essence of reflection and the malleability of metal. Didn't she see that?

But she was smiling at Mama. "We didn't want to... ah... bother you." Mama and Edward had been busy - having alone time. Why would they need time away from me? Would I be in the way? Then I remembered Edward hugging Mama yesterday. I would be in the way in one of those, but surely they could hug around me. All these thoughts made my blood rise with pleasure - them hugging each other brought only slightly less happiness than the thought of them hugging me. Emmett was nearly laughing again. I frowned at him; it was happy, not humorous.

"We'll get your room set up right away," Mama was telling me. "You're going to like the cottage. It's full of magic." There was magic in her voice, too. They weren't going without me next time. My heart skipped with excitement. She thanked Esme for the cottage, but Emmett was roaring again.

"So it's still standing? I would have thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night? Discussing the national debt?" His words didn't make sense to me, but I got the feeling he was just teasing Mama, so I ignored the confusion and focused on her face. That brought me back to her eyes. Where was my breakfast? I followed her eyes to the trees. That was where Jacob had gone.

"Jacob took off this morning, pretty early. Seth followed him out," Rosalie told her. I hadn't noticed Seth before. Maybe he was already in the trees. Rosalie would have heard what I could not.

"What was he so upset about?" Edward asked.

_Edward! Breakfast!_ I reached for the cup, but continued to listen, wanting to know why Jacob had left too. Mama gave me to Rosalie as I took the cup.

"I don't know or care. He was watching Renesmee sleep; his mouth hanging open like the moron he is. And then he jumped to his feet without any kind of trigger, not that I noticed, anyway, and stormed out. I was glad to be rid of him. The more time he spends here, the less chance there is that we'll ever get the smell out." Rosalie didn't mean that, did she? I didn't want Jacob to go away. And he smelled good. My frown was lost in my cup, though. "I suppose it doesn't matter. We won't be here that much longer."

"I still say we should go straight to New Hampshire and get things set up," Emmett continued her thought. "Bella's already registered at Dartmouth. Doesn't look like it will take her that long to be able to handle school. I'm sure you'll ace all your classes; apparently there's nothing interesting for you to do at night besides study." They didn't sleep. I had had ideas about that, but was just now coming to realize it. What would I give to be able to learn all night as well as all day? What would be more interesting? People were laughing and stifling giggles. Emmett was teasing Mama, again, and she was chanting, trying to keep her control. This time, Edward growled. Was Emmett teasing him too?

That wasn't it, though; Alice was upset, as well, and I knew Emmett wasn't teasing her. "What is he doing?" she complained. "What is that Dog doing that has erased my schedule for the entire day? I can't see anything! No!" Then she chided Mama on her clothes. I liked them. The jeans didn't mean anything to me, but the shirt was softer than the silk and satin Alice and Esme wore, warmer somehow. I would have to spend some time with Alice. She could teach me the names and uses for all these articles of clothing and the materials they were made from. She obviously paid them the most attention.

Edward's clenched words made it through my musings. "He talked to Charlie." Who was that? "He thinks Charlie is following, coming here, today." Well, I'd find out soon then. Was he family? Or maybe another wolf like Jacob?

"He told Charlie?" Mama seemed astonished and dismayed. I could hear the panic in her voice. "But, doesn't he understand? How could he do that?" Maybe he understood, but I didn't. My cup was empty and I threw it to the floor. No one seemed to notice, although Jasper's hand did flick out to catch it.

"Jacob's on his way in now," Edward told us.

Yay! Jacob _and_ Mama! And there he was, wet. He shook his hair and I felt a little wet too. He smelled so good in the rain, almost like the moss in the forest. "Hey, guys!"

Seth was behind him with another person, a female. Leah, then. I hadn't seen her except as a wolf. She was pretty. Not beautiful like my family, but definitely pretty. I liked her short hair, even though I preferred my long curls.

"Rose?" Mama said to Rosalie, and I was being held by Mama again. It wasn't as good as before. It was almost like she was clutching me too hard, except she wasn't. What was going on?

"Charlie will be here soon," Jacob was telling us. _Charlie?_ I wondered again. "Just a heads up. I assume Alice is getting you some sunglasses or something?"

"You assume way too much. What. Have. You. Done?" Each of Mama's words were distinct and clipped. She was clutching me with her mind. I was her control. I tried to send my thoughts to her. _It will be okay, Mama. Please don't hurt Jacob. _Edward's eyes flicked to me briefly before returning to Bella.

"Blondie and Emmett woke me up this morning, going on and on about you all moving cross-country. Like I could let you leave." Jacob wouldn't be coming with us? "Charlie was the biggest issue there, right? Well, problem solved." He seemed a little smug at his plan. What was it? To bring Charlie with us, too?

"Do you even realize what you've done? The danger you've put him in?" Mama asked him.

"I didn't put him in any danger, except from you," Jacob informed her. I wanted to know this Charlie. Mama was worried about him being in danger; he was important to her. "But you've got some kind of supernatural self-control, right? Not as good as mind-reading, if you ask me. Much less exciting."

Edward stepped up to Jacob, and his anger made me fear for Jacob again. "That's just a theory, mongrel," he almost spit at Jacob. "Did you think about the physical pain you're putting Bella in, even if she can resist? Or the emotional pain if she doesn't?" But Mama wouldn't do anything for blood. If this Charlie was important to her, she wouldn't hurt him. "I suppose what happens to Bella no longer concerns you." That wasn't fair. Jacob loved Mama. _Would this hurt Mama?_ I asked her. She didn't answer me, so I listened to Jacob and Edward instead.

"Bella will be in pain?" Jacob seemed uncertain of his plan now. He didn't want to hurt Mama.

"Like you shoved a white-hot branding iron down her throat." I didn't know what that meant, but I gathered it hurt.

"I didn't know that," Jacob said in his defense.

"Then perhaps you should have asked first." I understood Jacob's thought, though. He knew, like me, that Mama wouldn't hurt Charlie. He thought Charlie was the reason we were leaving. Why not give Mama time with someone she loved and keep us nearby? I thought even if he knew he probably would have done the same, just taken more time to consider his plan.

"You would have stopped me," Jacob accused, and I knew he was right.

"You should have been stopped."

Mama interrupted them. "This isn't about me." I didn't take my eyes off their exchange, wanting to be sure Edward's anger was as reined in as it seemed. Also, I knew what Mama was thinking. They had told me this about her and I had experienced it. Her pain wasn't important. Pain to those she loved was. "This is about Charlie, Jacob. How could you put him in danger this way? Do you realize it's death or vampire life for him now, too?" _Vampire._ Was that what my family was? The way she said _too_ made it sound like she included herself.

"Relax, Bella. I didn't tell him anything you weren't planning to tell him." Jacob tried to console her. What he _knew _put him in danger? How was that?

"But he's coming here." Mama continued to panic.

"Yeah, that's the idea. Wasn't the whole 'let him make the wrong assumptions' thing your plan? I think I provided a very nice red herring, if I do say so myself." He was smug again.

I felt Bella both physically and mentally clutch me and her control again. "Say it straight, Jacob. I don't have the patience for this."

"I didn't tell him anything about you, Bella. Not really. I told him about me. Well, _show_ is probably a better verb."

"He phased in front of Charlie," Edward spat.

"You what?" Mama whispered, shock in her voice.

"He's brave. Brave as you are," Jacob admired. "Didn't throw up or anything. I gotta say I was impressed. You should have seen his face when I started taking my clothes off though. Priceless." I took a moment to remember Jacob naked the moment before he phased. His skin was so perfect. But since I hadn't discovered why my family bothered with clothes, I didn't understand why this was noteworthy. I also didn't know why Edward growled.

"You absolute moron," Mama was shouting at him. "You could have given him a heart attack." What would have attacked his heart? Not Jacob.

"Charlie's fine. He's tough," Jacob assured Mama. "If you'd give this just a minute you'll see that I did you a favor here."

"You have half of that Jacob," Mama threatened him. "You have thirty seconds to tell me every single word, before I give Renesmee to Rosalie and rip your miserable head off." Somehow I knew she didn't really mean that. Like Alice had said yesterday, she might hurt him, but not beyond what he could heal.

I listened with interest as Jacob told his story. It was very short. He had told Charlie that things weren't what they seemed, that Bella had changed, but wasn't sick.

"He asked if you turned into an animal, too, and I said 'she wishes she was that cool.'" I knew _I_ did. Being a bird would be especially nice, but I liked my wolf friends. I would like being a wolf with them.

Charlie was willing to not ask questions if that meant he could see us. In fact, he didn't _want_ to know. I couldn't understand that. How could anyone not want to know everything? Since knowing was apparently dangerous, I was glad for him, but it was unbelievable to me.

"But he did ask if you were adopting her," Jacob continued his recount. "'Like a daughter? Like I'm sort of a grandfather?' were his exact words." It was only now that I learned Charlie was Bella's father. He was my grandfather just as Carlisle was. He was my family. More eager to meet him than ever, I wondered how long it would be until he arrived.

"But she's changing so fast," Bella worried. _Not as fast_, I thought, but I knew it was still too fast for humans.

"I told him she was more special than all of us put together." The adoration in his voice made my heart patter. I reached for him. "I told him, 'Trust me. You don't want to know about this. But if you can ignore all the strange parts, you're gonna be amazed. She's the most wonderful person in the whole world." Jac-ob, my heart thumped, Jac-ob, Jac-ob, Jac-ob, faster and faster.

"Then I told him that if he could deal with that, you all would stick around for a while and he would have a chance to get to know her, but that if it was too much for him, you would leave." I was still intrigued by a place for learning, like Dartmouth, but I wanted to meet Charlie, too. "He said that as long as no one forced too much information on him, he'd deal."

"I'm not going to say thank you," Mama told him after a few seconds. "You're still putting Charlie at a huge risk."

"I am sorry about it hurting you. I didn't know it was like that." Silly Jacob, Mama wasn't worried about that part. "Bella, things are different with us now, but you'll always be my best friend, and I'll always love you, but I'll love you the right way now." He'd loved her the wrong way before? I remembered being told about Bella's broken hand after Jacob had kissed her. He wasn't supposed to kiss Bella, but it was okay for him to kiss me? Physical relationships were completely incomprehensible. "There's finally a balance. We both have people we can't live without. Still friends?"

Mama shifted me so she could take Jacob's hand. It didn't make me feel as excited as when she and Edward touched, but it was important, too. "If I don't kill Charlie tonight, I'll consider forgiving you for this," she told him. I mentally scoffed her.

"_When_you don't kill Charlie tonight, you'll owe me huge," Jacob replied. He was right, except on the owing her part. She would have gone to see Charlie on her own. I needed my father, Edward. Surely she needed hers, too.

"Can I?" he asked, reaching for me. I leaned a little toward him, but was happy being held by Mama, especially now that she wasn't as shocked and panicky.

"I'm actually holding her so I don't try to kill you, Jacob. Maybe later." Silly Mama. His face fell with disappointment. Silly Jacob.

Then Alice returned and relegated the wolves to the corner. Alice told Mama to give me to Jacob so she could see. That confused me. After all, if she knew Mama held me, she could see me, but she couldn't see? Something clicked in the conversations I'd listened to without understanding before. Alice saw us, the room around her, but she saw other things too - things that were coming. However, she couldn't see things that were coming to me and the wolves, she couldn't _see_ us.

Oh well, I got to be with Jacob so I didn't care too much. Leah left in a bit of a huff. She was going to phase into a wolf again, I was sure. She was a pretty wolf, but a prettier woman. I hadn't had a chance to tell her that. I showed Jacob his smug smile from earlier and Mama's relaxing grip. His plan was going to work. He kissed my head again.

Edward was with Mama now, speaking soothingly, trying to give her confidence. I saw her putting something Alice gave her into her eyes. It looked painful, and I asked Jacob what they were and why. He explained quietly about it masking the color of her eyes. Even as he did, I saw her eyes darken to brown. They looked more like mine. Alice was saying they weren't as pretty as mine though. My family was giving her instructions on pretending to be human. I logged it but knew I did most of these things already, so I put my mind to something else.

I reached to Seth. I still had to thank him for yesterday. "Ow," he said instinctively at the memory, but he got my meaning. "I wouldn't let her hurt Jake, Nessie. You don't have to thank me for that."

A black object on the other side of the room lit up and pictures started moving on it. I hadn't seen this before and asked Jacob about it. "It's a television. It's a moving picture of what is, or was, happening somewhere else. That's a football game." I watched for a few seconds, until Mama called for me. It didn't make a lot of sense.

"Jacob, I need Renesmee."

"Bella, that doesn't help me see," Alice was complaining.

"But I need her. She keeps me calm." I had been right earlier. She was clutching me. I would help as much as I could.

Now Alice was giving Mama instructions on how to hold me. That was bizarre to me; she was 'the one who held me'. Edward sat next to us and hugged us both. It was a marvellous feeling. Then he told me, "Renesmee, someone special is coming to see you and your mother." He mustn't have been listening to my thoughts earlier because I already knew that. "But he's not like us, or even like Jacob. We have to be very careful with him." I could do that. I remembered the china cup this morning. "You shouldn't tell him things the way you tell us." I reached to touch his face although he knew my thoughts anyway. I showed me holding the cup gently in two hands. "Exactly. And he's going to make you thirsty, but you mustn't bite him. He won't heal like Jacob." I kept the image of the cup in my mind. If I wouldn't break that, I certainly wouldn't bite it. And I didn't bite Jacob anytime I was thirsty.

"Can she understand you?" Mama asked. Of course I could. He wasn't using any of the large medical terms that I couldn't follow; all these concepts were easy.

"She understands. You'll be careful, won't you, Renesmee? You'll help us?"

I nodded very slightly, but a thought occurred to me. Was it wrong to bite Jacob? Again, unnecessarily, I touched Edward to show him nicking Jacob's thumb. "No, I don't care if you bite Jacob. That's fine." I was glad. Jacob's blood tasted good, and he was nearby at times when nothing else was.

I heard Jacob laugh. "Maybe you should leave, Jacob," Edward was saying now. I didn't want Jacob to go.

"I told Charlie I'd be here. He needs the moral support."

"Moral support," Edward said with sarcasm. "As far as Charlie knows, you're the most repulsive monster of us all."

"Repulsive?" Jacob echoed my thought aloud. Of course, in my head I also said, _Monster?_ but he didn't voice that part. He was beautiful as a wolf, and I had never seen him do anything monstrous. Then he laughed again.

I felt Mama tense and inhale quickly. Charlie must be close. "You're sure?" Mama asked Edward.

"Positive. You can do anything." I agreed with Edward and watched as he touched his lips to Mama's over my head. It was the most amazing thing I'd seen. It looked different than when people kissed my head, like there was more of an exchange. As before, I derived pleasure from this contact. Something about their expressions of love made me feel warm, safe, and loved, too.

Jasper interrupted them, though. "Er... Edward? You might not want to distract her like that right now. She needs to be able to focus."

I watched a small space open between them and heard Edward say, "Ooops." This made Mama laugh, though I didn't know why.

I turned my attention to the door as I heard the engine outside. Then I listened to his footfalls on the stairs and porch and his knock on the door. Suddenly, I was shy. What if he didn't like me? I hid in Mama's hair as Carlisle opened the door.

"Carlisle." I heard Charlie's voice for the first time and noticed it was more like Jacob's than my other family. It was different, though, gruffer. "Where's Bella?"

"Over here, Dad," Mama said. Why was she talking like that? She sounded silly. _Dad_. That obviously meant father. I didn't think it said enough to describe Edward. It might fit Charlie.

I watched his expression change several times. I'd seen a few of those on the faces of my family, but never so many so quickly. His face told me so much. He was angry, relieved, and sad all at the same time. The heaviest one at any moment was what showed on his face. How did my family keep from doing that? I wished I wasn't intimidated by him so I could move out of Mama's hair and see him better.

"Is that you, Bella?" he asked.

"Yep." She still sounded silly, but she wasn't distorting her voice as much. "Hi, Dad."

Jacob greeted him then, but Charlie didn't seem to like that. Instead, he approached us. I could smell him now. He did smell tasty, but he didn't make me as thirsty as I'd expected. He smelled... too much like me. Somehow I knew that his blood was the same as my own. It would feed me, but it would be wrong. I could see him better now. He wasn't beautiful, but he was pretty, like Leah. He was attractive. I already liked him and I didn't even know him yet.

"Bella?" He asked.

"It's really me." Her voice was lower but not distorted. "I'm sorry, Dad."

"Are you okay?" he asked now, and I could see the concern in his eyes. They were full of love, too.

"Really and truly great. Healthy as a horse." A horse? I let the question go to inhale more of Charlie.

"Jake told me this was necessary, that you were dying." Why would Jacob tell him that? Just to bring him here?

"Jacob was telling you the truth," Mama told him. What?

"That makes one of you." He was angry. I peeked to see better.

Then he looked at me. His eyes were the same as mine, just as his blood was. I could see parts of Mama in him. I could see the love in his eyes. "Oh, this is her, the orphan Jacob said you were adopting."

"My niece," Edward said. It wasn't a word they'd used often, but I knew that would mean Edward was my uncle. That wasn't right.

"I thought you lost your family." Charlie's eyes met Edward's now and I could tell he was having as much trouble understanding as I was.

"I lost my parents. My older brother was adopted, like me. I never saw him after that, but the courts located me after he and his wife died in a car accident, leaving their only child without any other family." Brother? His brothers were here. I never took my eyes from Charlie through the odd story. Mama's dad. He smelled so good.

"She's... she's a... well, she's a beauty." Charlie stammered. I think he liked me. "Kind of a big responsibility though. You two are just getting started."

"What else could we do?" Edward answered him. He stroked my face then, and I kissed his finger as it went by. I knew what he was telling me, and he was silly to worry. "Would you have refused her?"

"Hmph." I started a little at the odd sound. It was relief and disgruntlement in one. I liked it. "Jake says you call her Nessie?"

_Yes!_ I thought. _I like Ness!_

"No we don't." Mama's voice was stern. I frowned a little. "Her name is Renesmee."

"How do you feel about all this?" Charlie was asking Mama now. "Maybe Carlisle and Esme could..."

"She's mine," Mama insisted. "I want her." I wanted Mama, too, and her declaration made me feel bound to her.

"You gonna make me a grandpa so young?" Charlie seemed to tease. Edward tried to appease him by pointing out that Carlisle was also my grandfather, but that was the difference. Carlisle was Grandfather, and Edward was Father. Charlie was Grandpa. He looked at me, and I almost hid behind Mama's hair again, but his breath reached me, and I instinctively reached toward it. I emerged from hiding and saw questions in his eyes. Jacob also tried to make Charlie feel better about being a grandpa, but I saw that this time Charlie had to deal with being a grandpa in truth, not in Edward's story.

"I don't want to know everything, but I'm done with the lies." Charlie told Edward.

"I'm sorry, but you need know the public story more than you need to know the truth," Edward explained. I suddenly understood that I would have to fill my role in that story, as well. "If you're going to be a part of this secret, the public story is the one that counts. It's to protect Bella and Renesmee, as well as the rest of us. Can you go along with the lies for them?" I hoped he would. I wanted a chance to know him.

"You might have given me some warning, kid," he said to Mama.

"Would it really have made this any easier?" she retorted.

Suddenly he was on my level, and I saw myself in him. I reached for him this time, and Mama held me back. I reached up to her, not stretching further, to tell her that he smelled like me, he looked like me, and I wanted to know him. I kept my eyes on Charlie though, and smiled.

"Whoa," Charlie gasped now, "How old is she?"

"Three months," was Edward's reply, but I wasn't listening anymore. I needed to connect to him somehow. So I tried waving instead.

"Told you she was special, didn't I?" Jacob told Charlie. I got a warm flutter from Jacob's admiration. He was still talking to Charlie, but I was too busy learning all the lines of his face. I thought Jacob was going to explain imprinting, but it never got that far.

Emmett hollered suddenly. Something about the game. Mama tensed, and I guessed Emmett was teasing her again. Then Charlie settled into a chair to watch. Locked in place, I decided to try to learn the game. It apparently revolved around an oddly shaped ball that was thrown, kicked, or carried at various times. After a while, I discovered I knew all the basic rules - downs, touchdowns, punts - and quickly became bored with it. Charlie was at a bad angle for me to see clearly. I looked up at Mama and then pressed my hand to her throat. I showed her I was thirsty and that her eyes were looking more red than brown.

She excused herself and passed me to Rosalie for feeding while she 'freshened up.' I was most curious when Charlie and Jacob used the bathroom though. I wished I could see what they did in there. I contented myself with my cup in the kitchen. Carlisle took the opportunity to weigh and measure me again. He didn't frown this time, so it seemed the deceleration was continuing. I was glad.

When Mama took me back to sit with Edward and watch more of the game with Charlie, I decided that it was the perfect time for a nap. Of course, this was the first time I had _chosen_ to go to sleep. Somehow it didn't seem as easy as I expected. I looked to Edward hoping he had heard my desire and could give me some tips. He slowly stretched out his fingers on one hand and then the other, like he was counting something. Counting, I could try that. I settled into Mama's arms a little more comfortably and closed my eyes. I started counting. When I reached ten tens of ten, I decided that wasn't enough. The sounds from the television - and Emmett teasing Mama - kept bringing me back to the room. I tried counting music instead, matching my breath to the rhythm. 1-2-3-4 breath 1-2-3-4 breath...

* * *

I woke in Mama's arms. The news was playing and I turned to watch a little while still curled up in her hold. I liked news. They were telling some local stories which let me see maps and gave me a lot of new information to digest. I kept very still as I watched. I remembered what Jasper had said; if I pretended to sleep, no one would come for me. I closed my eyes and listened instead.

Sure enough, when Mama rose to say goodbye to Charlie I was still with her. They were talking about Renee. I wondered who she was. They wanted to protect her, too. More family, I guessed. "We've got time to discuss this, right?" he was asking her now.

"Right," she assured him. That meant we weren't leaving. I still wanted to go to Dartmouth one day. I tried to keep my breathing even and hoped Edward wouldn't give me away.

Seth interrupted then. "You gonna stand Billy and my Mom up, Charlie?" I absently wondered who Billy. Jacob had mentioned him before. "Bella and Nessie'll be here tomorrow. Let's get some grub, eh?" Food. I needed some of that, but I didn't want to miss this time with my Grandpa.

"Jake says you guys were going to take off on me," he told Mama.

"I didn't want to do that if there was any way at all around it. That's why we're still here," she told him.

"He said you could stay for a while, but only if I'm tough enough and if I can keep my mouth shut." _Please do, Grandpa._

"Yes. But I can't promise that we'll never leave, Dad. It's pretty complicated," she told him.

"Need to know," he half-muttered to stop Mama from continuing. He was going to try. I was thrilled. It was becoming difficult to stay still so close to him.

"Right."

"You'll visit though, if you have to go?" he pleaded.

"I promise, Dad. Now that you know, just enough, I think this can work. I'll keep as close as you want." I liked that. Then I was unable to think as I was closer to Charlie than ever before. His warmth and scent surrounded me as he hugged Mama and me.

"Keep close, Bells. Real close," he whispered with fervor. Now his love rolled over me with everything else. _Real close,_ I thought to myself as I touched his shoulder with my own.

"Love you, Dad," Mama whispered back. Then I felt a small shudder from him and the hug ended. I was a little sad.

"Love you too, kid. Whatever else has changed, that hasn't." Then he touched me. His touch was warm, cooler than me, but warmer than the rest of my family. "She sure looks a lot like you."

"More like Edward, I think," she argued. "She has your curls."

"Huh, I guess she does. Huh, Grandpa," he muttered. _Yes, my Grandpa._ "Do I ever get to hold her?" he asked, and my heart raced, but I held very still. I could sense Mama didn't trust me not to bite Charlie if I was awake. I hoped she believed my act.

She must have because I was being laid in Grandpa's arms. "Here," she said as she let go of me. I rolled a little to put my face in his chest. This way I could open my eyes a crack without Mama seeing. Also, I could smell him better.

"She's sturdy," he said. "Sturdy is good." His compliment made me half-smile. "She'll need to be tough, surrounded by all this craziness." Things didn't seem crazy to me, but I could be tough for Grandpa. Then he rocked me a little, and I sighed very quietly. "Prettiest baby I ever saw, including you, kid," I blushed a little. "I'm sorry, but it's true."

"I know it is," Mama agreed.

"Pretty baby," he lulled to me. _I love you Grandpa, _I thought with all my might and hoped he could hear.

"Can I come back tomorrow?" he asked. _Please?_ I thought.

"Sure, Dad. Of course. We'll be here," Mama assured him.

"You better be," he threatened. "See you tomorrow, Nessie." I did smile this time, but wiped it from my face quickly, hoping no one had noticed. I was supposed to be asleep, after all.

"Not you, too," Mama groaned. "Her name is Renesmee, like Renee and Esme put together. No variations." Renee again. "Do you want to hear her middle name?"

"Sure," Grandpa answered quickly.

"Carlie. With a C. Like Carlisle and Charlie put together." Carlisle and Charlie were my grandfathers. That most likely made Renee my grandmother like Esme, then.

"Thanks, Bells!" Grandpa enthused. I could see his smile even through my lashes.

"Thank you, Dad. So much has changed so quickly. My head hasn't stopped spinning. If I didn't have you, I don't know how I'd keep my grip on... on reality. Go eat, Dad," Mama told him after his stomach rumbled under me. "We'll be here."

Grandpa gave me back to Mama, but hesitated another moment in the doorway. I could hear Edward playing the piano. It was something new, the way he kept trying different phrases.

"See you tomorrow, Bella," Grandpa finally said his goodbye. "I mean, it's not like you don't look... good. I'll get used to it." And then I heard him walk down the wooden porch to his car.

* * *

Thank you to my two betas Rhii and Jenniemae.


	5. Chapter 5: Darker Days

My mind was like a sponge, as I later learned from Esme what a sponge was. It took no effort on my part to simply absorb information around me. Mama and Emmett taught me arm wrestling. I watched them put their elbows on the rock and grip each others' hand, listening to their terms for the bet.

"One, Two..." Mama counted.

"Three," Emmett finished and I saw him push into Mama's hand. Maybe I'd been wrong because nothing happened. Was he pushing? Was she pushing back? Then Emmett's hand was pushed back an inch. Emmett pushed harder, but still Mama didn't move. Finally, with no visible effort, she slammed his hand to the rock. I smiled and bounced a little, certain Mama had won.

I watched Emmett punch the rock and individual shards of the mixed mineral broke off. Then Mama impressed me. She didn't punch the rock. She ripped it. I didn't know that was possible.

Next she spun and punched the rock, but with the side of her hand, not her fist. The sudden impact split the rock neatly down the center. It was fun to watch. I pictured in my mind breaking off pieces to leave a pretty result. That was probably how some of the sculptures in the house were made. The thought passed, and I watched Mama relishing her strength; the dust flew into her hair as she continued to pummel the poor boulder. I laughed with her.

"Did she just laugh?" Mama asked.

"Yes," Edward answered her.

"Who wasn't laughing?" Jacob asked.

Edward teased Jacob back. "Tell me you didn't let go a bit on your first run, Dog."

"That's different," he objected. "Bella's supposed to be a grown up." What did that matter? "Married and a Mom and all that. Shouldn't there be more dignity?" Why shouldn't Mama have fun if she wanted to? I asked Edward this.

"What does she want?" Mama asked.

"Less dignity," he answered for me. "She was having almost as much fun watching you enjoy yourself as I was."

"Am I funny?" she asked me. She took me then and gave me a piece of the same rock. I grabbed it happily. I didn't have to be careful with this like the china. I held it in my two hands and tried to snap it as I had that cup. Nothing really happened, although I felt dust on my hands. I frowned giving the stubborn mineral back to Mama. "I'll get it," she told me and pulverized the little shard. It was fun! I laughed again, bringing my hands together.

The clouds broke, and I saw my family in the sunlight for the first time. They all glittered like the dust from the rock still in my hand. The light caught the skin of Mama's cheek and was reflected not once as it was with Jacob's or twice as with mine, but ten-tens times. It was breathtaking, although it did hurt my eyes a little with so many of my family sparkling together.

I showed Mama the difference. "You're the prettiest," she told me, but I knew it wasn't true.

The next day, I was lucky enough to meet Seth and Leah's mother, Sue. She came with Grandpa to visit us. Sue was nice enough - a quiet person. She smelled good, but I didn't want to hurt her, either. I'd save snacking on humans for Jacob and Seth who healed fast. I sampled more human food alongside them, asking Mama, who held me then, if I could try some. Having never seen me eat human food, she hesitated. Grandpa seemed surprised she would give me a tortilla chip. I didn't care for it, too bland. I noticed Sue dip hers in something green and asked Mama for some of that, too.

She was becoming less comfortable with this, but Jacob, hovering over us, urged her on. "Oh go on, Bella. A little avocado never hurt anyone." She returned the chip to me, now bearing the green paste. It was sweet and squishy. I liked the texture but wondered why they bothered with the chips.

A moment later, I asked for Jacob. Mama was reluctant to pass me over, but I could tell she didn't want to make a scene in front of Grandpa. She gave me to him and I showed him the bathroom. "Really?" he whispered to me. I showed him me sitting on the toilet; I was still getting used to this water leaking from me and wasn't sure I could hold it. "We'll be right back," he excused us, and the question in Grandpa's eyes was obvious.

In the bathroom, he stood me upright and pulled down my leggings while I held his arms. The diaper followed, and he held my waist as I perched on the edge of the toilet seat. He seemed to be blushing slightly. He almost dropped me when Edward burst in.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Hey, she asked me to," he defended himself. Just then, with a little tinkling, my water hit the water of the toilet.

Edward's mouth fell open. "She asked you to," he repeated.

"That's right. Rose and I explained bathroom functions to her. I don't know how she knows she has to go though."

I had human food; I always made water after human food.

"She knew the guacamole would make her bladder fill," Edward shook his head. "Ness, I'm going to tell your mother about this. Next time, she can help you on the toilet, okay?"

Why couldn't Jacob help me? He did a fine job. Well, it would be better if he'd get me off here.

"She's done Jacob."

"Oh, right." He set me on my feet, and this time I held the toilet seat as he picked up my dry diaper. "Guess she doesn't really need one of these," he muttered but put it on me anyway.

I lifted one foot for my legging. Edward continued to shake his head. "Your development is astounding, Ness. I wonder if Carlisle knows all of this." _He knows about the food,_ I thought at Edward. _We talked about that before._ I lifted my other leg, pointing my toe. "Your muscle control is improving too."

_Oooh! Oooh! Can_ _I play the piano today?_ I thought, looking at him. He didn't seem to make out my thought; maybe I was too excited. I let go of the toilet to reach for him and fell on my bottom. I was glad Jacob had put the diaper on. Edward lifted me, and I showed him me playing the piano with Rosalie.

"Ah, yes. Maybe after Charlie and Sue go home."

I was a little put out. After all, we'd told them a lot of things. They knew I was getting big fast, that I could do things babies couldn't. Why couldn't I press the keys of the piano?

Edward followed my thoughts this time. "If all you did was press random keys that would be fine, but I heard Rosalie thinking about your pot song. They'd notice if you started playing chords and tunes."

I frowned, then brightened. Did he like my pot song?

He laughed a little. "Yes, it was wonderful for a first composition."

"What?" Jacob asked. "What pot song?"

I reached for him and replayed my song on Esme's pots for him. He smiled broadly. "Nice, Nessie. I have an old wooden flute at home that Dad taught me to play. Maybe you can play that, too."

"She'd appreciate that, Jacob. I don't know that she's encountered any wind instruments yet."

True to his word Jacob brought me his flute. It took me a few tries to blow into it and get more than squeaks, but after that, the fingering was easy to figure out - difficult to do, though. My fingers were just big enough to cover the holes, and I had to stretch my hands wide to reach them.

Jacob scowled. "Took me months to manage that well." I copied a chickadee's two-note call for him trying to cheer him back up. It worked. "Nah, it's great, Nessie. You can keep that. You'll be playing better than me soon." I tried to make the flute howl like a wolf except it squealed. He laughed.

I also had the opportunity to meet more of his wolf friends.

I learned that his pack, formerly just himself, Seth and Leah, was growing. Embry and Quil joined him. They, like Seth, didn't hesitate to come to the house in human form. And they were just as much fun as Seth.

One day, Quil introduced me to Claire. I was honored. I'd been told that Claire pulled him the way I pulled Jacob. I didn't understand why her words were slurred at first, until I noticed she never used more than the simplest words, and her sentences were rarely complete. She was much bigger than me, but somehow less intelligent. Esme brought out my blocks and Claire helped me build the tallest stack yet, although I had to nudge a few blocks at first to build the base. Didn't she know that you could build it taller with a wider base?

I still liked her. No one had told me not to show her pictures, so I showed her me with Jacob the first time I touched her. Quil was a little anxious, but he relaxed when my hand didn't do more than pat her cheek. She understood my meanings better than some. "Yes! Like me and Qwil! Never gonna leave. Together ever." Yes, that was it. We would be together always. I smiled at her and she smiled back. She would touch my cheek, and I could tell she wanted to do what I did. I pretended I understood by showing her more things in reply. I don't know if I got it right, but she often giggled, so I guessed I was close. The wolves, Jacob in front, Sue, Grandpa and Billy - Jacob's father who I eventually met - were among the images I showed her. I showed her flying in the air, being tossed, falling. That made her giggle loudest.

Eventually Quil said she had to go home to her Mom. "I'm sure she'll come visit another time," Jacob assured me.

Another time, I got to sit on Jacob's wolf back and hug his neck when Mama got over her hesitation. He loped a few steps with me there, not far and not fast at all. Mama was at my side the whole time, and my grip and balance never wavered. He sped up a little after Mama didn't pull me off. He was up to a good run, and I was giggling with the wind in my hair. Mama was still at our side, keeping up with Jacob easily. His tongue hung out, grinning widely. He bucked me into the air and phased back. I hugged him, showing him how much I'd loved it. "Won't be the last time, Ness."

"Jake! Put some pants on!" Mama scolded him, taking me from him.

"Ah geez, Bells, she don't know the difference, and you don't care. Or do you?" He raised an eyebrow, but phased back to wolf and ran with us to the cottage.

Mama carried me into the cottage. She was right; it _was _magic. It was beautiful. The pictures on the walls were all interesting. The furniture was a good height for me to pull myself up, and the different materials and textures would give me hours of exploring.

She showed me my room. It wasn't large, but it had a beautiful crib with iron bars. I hoped those were removable. I'd like to be able to get up on my own. There was a book shelf in the corner and a rocking chair. Mama sat in this right away and rocked with me.

"This is the one thing Esme didn't put in this house," she told me. "This is the chair my Mom and Dad sat in and rocked me." I smiled and leaned into her.

Emmett appeared in the doorway. "Esme let Alice have that huge closet to put some room between yours and this one, but I don't think she should have bothered."

"What part of not talking about my sex life did you not understand?" Mama growled at him.

"Sex life? I was talking about your fashion sense."

"Sure you were," Mama grumbled.

Emmett laughed loudly and left the room.

Mama's first book choices were not fantastic. The only good thing about those picture books was their ability to teach me more phonetics. That way, when I ran into a word I hadn't seen, I'd know if it was one I'd heard. She could tell they didn't interest me, though, and quickly moved on to others. A couple of mornings I woke before Mama and Edward came to me, and pulled books from the shelf into my crib to read. I usually managed to put them back before they opened my door, but one time Edward caught me with Anne of Green Gables in hand. He shook his head and returned it to the shelf. I don't know if he ever told Mama.

I did get my time with Alice. She and Rosalie spent part of each morning dressing me in a variety of outfits. I endured it as long as Alice accompanied the changes with lessons. She told me the names of the different articles, about the fabrics, cuts, seams, trims, fastenings. I saw more beauty in clothing with every change. In exchange for playing living doll, Rosalie was teaching me piano. Edward was too busy with Mama most days to take the time.

When I got my hands on a pen for the first time, I didn't let go for hours. I begged for page after page learning to control my hand. Esme came to my aid with not only colored pencils and crayons, but paint and sponges. She taught me contrast, textures, perspective. I followed her hand and pencil, marveling at the images she created. Mine were so inferior. She reminded me that they were true to form. For example, when I sketched a spotted owl, she was able to recognize it, down to species.

I also practiced my voice. After crying and giggling, I sighed with more regularity and volume. I learned to _hrmph_ like Grandpa. That was a nice sound. I could make it mean so many things. After learning how to make sounds at all it was a simple matter to put them together like my family did. My first word was "Jacob." We were in the backyard, just the two of us. I was crawling still, and he moved too far from me. I called, wanting him to come back. He froze in his tracks and came scrambling back to me. I'd like having a voice if it got quick responses like this.

However, I used it seldom. As a result, many members of my family learned my new ability separately. Alice and Rosalie got a, "No!" when they were dressing me and my arms were pinned. Mama got the most words, "Mama, where's Grandpa?" I'm pretty sure the rest of the family heard about that one. I kept my voice to myself for the most part; I was always unsure of it. Often, it saved time and words to communicate the old way. Words conveyed so much less than my pictures.

With more opportunities to pull myself up, it wasn't long before I knew my legs would support my weight. As with speaking, it was often easier to let my family, who never tired of carrying me, transport me anywhere more than a few steps away. Once I knew I could run though, I moved on my own more often than any other way. My hair fanning out behind me, the wind in my face, the blood pumping through my limbs, it was all so exhilarating.

That was when another lesson was given, this one from Mama and Edward. They wanted me to learn to hunt like them. At first I didn't understand why. Human blood came in pouches. Carlisle had explained that these humans had given their blood, more or less painlessly, for the well being of others. That included me, didn't it?

"No, Renesmee. You don't need blood given that way. You can live on other forms of nourishment. That blood is needed for humans who are hurt," Edward explained to me.

Well, I couldn't argue they needed it more than I did, but I still didn't see why I couldn't have some of it. I agreed to try hunting anyway.

They showed me the large animals of the forest, hoping I would choose one. When I didn't they finally attacked a herd of elk. Edward brought one down but didn't kill it. "Come here, Renesmee." Why was he using my long name so much today? I obeyed. "Try it," he ordered.

I could see the fear in the animal's eye, the artery throbbing in his neck. This would not be like drinking from my cup. Was I supposed to bite straight though? I guessed so, otherwise he would have torn open the skin. Looking into that fearful eye, I felt sorry for the elk's pain. I bent and bit the artery. The heart, still pumping, pushed the blood into my mouth. I swallowed three times. The eye closed but the heart didn't stop. I swallowed twice more before the flow faltered.

"Good job, Renesmee!" Mother congratulated me. She kissed my cheek and wiped a dribble of blood from my chin.

I looked to be sure I hadn't gotten any on my dress. Only the one drop had escaped, apparently. The warm blood was good. Not as good as human blood, but better than any of the human food I had sampled. I looked back at the wound I'd left. The skin was still attached but torn. I could see some of the meat beneath. I remembered how the meat Jacob had eaten seemed wrong; this seemed right. I put my mouth back the elk's neck and tried to pull a piece of flesh from the throat. It was difficult, and I worried about the blood I saw splattering. I managed to tear a strip and chewed experimentally. It was human food, for certain, but easily the best human food I'd had. I checked my dress, glad only a few small drops had caught me. Alice would be able to get those out.

"Do you like it?" Mama asked.

I put my hand to her and tried to explain. When I had finished, I located an appropriate tree and dropped my panties; I still hated this part of human food. The trickle was very short. Animal blood didn't leave as much in my system as human food. That was a benefit, I supposed. Being outside hunting also meant I didn't have to find a bathroom or someone to help me onto the toilet. It would suffice, I supposed.

Another memory came to me, this one of Emmett. _"Enjoy ignorance a little. You can get away with a lot when people think you don't know better."_ Maybe I could continue to dine on human blood if I didn't let them know I had found benefits to hunting. It seemed a little devious, and Edward might have already heard my thoughts, but he seemed busy with his own kill. I was careful not to think about hunting in a positive way again.

My parents were more dedicated to this form of food than I was, however. I was sure after my disastrous first attempt to pull down a deer on my own, they'd let it go. I had missed three times, landing face down and crying as my pretty clothes were further ruined with each failure. Worse, after each attack, I'd have to run down the herd again. Actually, that part wasn't so bad; I liked tracking. Even so, I slowed after each failure, hoping they'd give up and let me go home. I finally grabbed hold of the neck of a young doe on my fourth try. She tried to toss me and I was thrown into the air. My legs snapped when, instead of letting go and flying off, I clung more tightly and came crashing back down into her. I knocked her off balance and she fell on her side. I sunk my teeth into her neck before she could get up. It was kinda fun getting bucked like that.

Mama ran to me, "Are you all right?" she asked in panic. I looked up at her and made fear show in my eyes. "Oh, sweetie, we wouldn't have let it hurt you," she assured me sweeping me up into her arms.

Edward didn't buy it though. "She's fine. She was more upset about falling in the dirt than getting tossed." I wanted to growl at him, but settled for a frown. They were going to make me try again.

They really broke my resolve when they brought Jacob to hunt with me. The giant wolf taking down an animal was beautiful in his grace. I knew my simple tackle was ungainly in comparison. He turned it into a contest quickly; one he often won when I became distracted by his beauty. The russet fur gleamed in a way his skin didn't, in a way similar to satin, but much sleeker. He faded into the turning leaves of the forest. I was also enthralled as I watched his canine teeth tear strip after strip of bloody flesh from the carcass. Looking at my kill, I wondered how to skin it. I sunk my teeth in and was surprised when the skin came off in one connected piece. When the shoulder was exposed, I found that this meat would be much easier to strip than that of the neck.

I ate several mouthfuls before I noticed Mama standing over me. Ooops, I wasn't supposed to like this. I faked a grunt and a groan and wandered to the nearest tree to empty myself. I thought she bought it, but with Mama it's hard to be sure. I knew Jacob didn't, he was laughing at me in a bark.

The hunts continued, and as I was hunting more often with Jacob, I ate more and more of the meat. It filled me for longer than other human food, too. And I learned which parts of the animal would give the most meat with the least mess. It also turned out that my nails were hard and sharp enough to let me strip skin from parts of an animal I hadn't bit. That was good; I still went for the throat when trying to bring down an animal many times larger than myself. It was the only way to do it fast enough.

My second important lesson was not taught to me as hunting was. I paid careful attention when a box arrived for Mama. Something about it had every member of my family on alert. The box was beautiful and the necklace inside more so. Mama let me hold it and I examined the weave of the golden cord. I'd learned from Alice about braids and Rosalie had even put one in my hair for my hunting trips, but this was more intricate than any I had seen before. I counted the strands and found there were 21. Some were woven in twice, some only once, it was almost a maze to follow one strand through the pattern. I gave it back to Mama before solving the riddle. I could feel eyes on me, and they weren't approving. It wasn't the box or even the contents that disturbed them - though neither put them at ease - it was the sender.

They spoke of Aro, Caius, and Marcus - the Volturi. I didn't like the concern that accompanied every mention of their names. These vampires were dedicated to keeping humans from finding out that families like mine existed. Now I understood why I couldn't touch Grandpa, why Mama had been so afraid during that first visit. I understood the purpose of Edward's strange story that made him my uncle instead of my father. If anyone learned what my family was, they would be in danger from these vampires, and so would we for letting the secret out. Mama was going to leave us to visit them. I was appalled by this plan, but only because it meant she was leaving me. She had to show them that she was one of them now so they didn't come to see for themselves. Just as she wanted to protect Grandpa, she was going to protect me. She assured Edward that she wasn't in danger. Now that she was a vampire, too, they would have no quarrel with her or the rest of my family. I thought she was right. From everything everyone had said, and it was a LOT - I had never garnered as much information on any one topic in such short a time - they should be appeased by seeing their rules followed. If Mama went alone, they would have no inkling that I existed, and so no reason to come here. It was a good plan.

While Mama was planning her trip to Italy, the rest of my family was planning our trip to Brazil. There were stories of others like me there. We wanted to learn about me, what I would become, how big I would get, how many others there were like me, if there were any at all. Carlisle had friends there that might be able to help us.

Alice wasn't sure of either of these plans. She said her vision was clouded. I could understand that for the Brazil trip, with Jacob and I coming along, but why should she have a problem seeing Mama?

I noticed the hours of sunlight diminish, night coming sooner, morning later. As autumn waned, I was content. I was becoming a better hunter. Mama and Edward didn't growl at Jacob so much anymore. I was able to move and express myself. The books in our cottage and the big house allowed me to learn as quickly as I wanted. I couldn't ask for more. Well, maybe more donated blood.

I wouldn't have noticed the day our lives changed except that Mama had burst through the trees after Jacob and I instead of loping up as usual. I could see terror on her face; something I had never seen before. I leaped into her arms to ask her what was wrong. At the time, she wasn't sure. She thought a family friend might just be angry with Jacob. It would be a week before we learned just how wrong things were.

* * *

Thanks to beta Jenniemae


	6. Chapter 6: The Long Night

I woke to sound of shattering glass. It was an unfamiliar sound, and I looked to see what had made it.

There was a puddle on the kitchen tiles with white and red roses in its midst. The image was stark; red roses on pale stone among reflective shards of glass. Alice stood over the mess, not looking at it. She had dropped the vase, and everyone else was staring at her, too. I quickly determined that this was one of those times it was better to pretend to be asleep. With everyone still focused on Alice, no one had noticed me yet. I laid my head back on my hands and closed my eyes. This had better be a time for talking, otherwise I'd be miffed that I couldn't see.

"What?" Jasper was asking and I heard the glass crunch in his steps. "What, Alice? What is it?"

She and Edward spoke as one. "They're coming."

I could think of only one thing that had threatened my family in my few months. One thing would make my father speak in that tone. Alice confirmed it. "The Volturi." At the same time Edward said, "All of them."

All of them? There were so many! I'd heard them talking of names and talents when Mama's gift came; my fear grew. "Why?" "How?" and "When?" were repeated by the various voices of my family. I didn't think I could answer any of them, and I hoped they would be able to, and soon.

'When' came first. "Not long," once more my father and my aunt spoke as one. "There is snow on the forest, snow on the town. Little more than a month," Alice told them. About five weeks from the last estimate she'd given me. Since I'd seen my first snowflakes I'd wondered what it would be like to see the strange whiteness carpet the green around me. She'd indulged me, telling me that the New Year would dawn white. Now I almost wished she hadn't; I knew to the day when this disaster would come to pass.

'Why' came next. "They must have a reason," Esme determined, "maybe to see..."

"This isn't about Bella," Alice objected. "They're all coming, Aro, Caius, Marcus. Every member of the guard, even the wives." The wives? They'd been mentioned very briefly, but I knew nothing of them.

"The wives never leave the tower," Jasper educated me. "Never. Not during the Southern Rebellion, not when the Romanians tried to overthrow them, not even when they were hunting the Immortal Children. Never." I'd heard of the Rebellion but the others were new to me.

"They're coming now," Edward whispered. Whatever brought them had to be important. I heard the weight Jasper had put on those other events.

"But why?" Carlisle said again. "We've done nothing. And even if we had, what could we possibly do that would bring this down on us?"

"There are so many of us. They must want to make sure that..." Edward's thought sent a chill through me. These vampires were coming to hurt my family. They needed all their numbers because we were strong.

"That doesn't answer the crucial question, why?" Carlisle repeated himself. I had no idea. What could have changed? If it wasn't Mama, the only other thing that had changed in the last few months was... me. My fear started to peak. I had done this. Somehow, this was my fault.

"Go back, Alice," Jasper cajoled her. "Look for the trigger. Search."

"It came out of nowhere, Jas. I wasn't looking for them, or even us. I was just looking for Irina. She wasn't where I expected her to be." Alice told them. After a pause she began again. "She decided to go to them. Irina decided to go to the Volturi. And then they will decide. It's as if they're waiting for her. Like their decision was already made and just waiting on her." I was what had changed, but I couldn't be the reason they had already made the decision. That meant Irina was going to them because of me. It wasn't Jacob she angry with after all; it was me. Why?

"Can we stop her?" Jasper asked, but I was still busy thinking.

"There's no way, she's almost there." Alice told us.

"What is she doing?" Carlisle asked. I kept trying to answer my own _why_. Were vampires not supposed to have children? I knew there were stories of others like me, but as far as my family knew, I was the first of my kind. Why should she be so upset about something she had never seen before? What if she was not upset, just afraid? Then why wouldn't she come and ask us? Or return to her family? Why would that take her to the Volturi?

My thoughts were interrupted when Mama came and hugged me. I felt her breath in my hair. I was glad her hair covered my face. I wasn't sure I was keeping up my act. "Think of what she saw that afternoon," Mama whispered. I did think of it. It _was _me, but I still didn't know why. "To someone who had lost a mother because of the immortal children, what would Renesmee look like?" The Immortal Children - some epic moment in vampire history. I didn't know what they were, why they were so feared. I wasn't surprised to find I resembled one, though.

Edward came to hug us both then. I felt reassured by his presence. He would protect Mama and I, just as I would protect Mama and him if I could. My father loved nothing in the world as much as the two of us. It would kill him to lose either one of us.

"But she's wrong. Renesmee isn't like those other children," Mama said, giving me the crucial detail I was missing. "They were frozen, but she grows so much every day. They were out of control, but she never hurts Charlie or Sue, or even shows them things that would upset them. She can control herself. She's already smarter than most adults." I stopped listening as Mama mumbled on. The Immortal Children weren't children _of_ vampires, as I'd known they couldn't be, they were _child_ vampires. The idea was repulsive to me; stealing the life of one so young. Then I thought of Claire with thirst and I was as much afraid as disgusted. She wouldn't stop from biting even Quil if she were a vampire. I understood why Irina had gone to the Volturi and I couldn't blame her. I just wished she'd talk to us or her family first.

I came out of my reverie to the whispered words of my father. "It's not the kind of crime they hold a trial for, love. Aro's seen Irina's proof in her thoughts. They come to destroy, not to be reasoned with." I opened my eyes then to look into his through the veil of Mama's hair. If he hadn't heard my thoughts before, I was sure he heard them now. I was deathly afraid. They weren't going to let us explain? We weren't going to get a chance to save ourselves? I was going to lose everything? Everyone?

"But they're wrong," Mama argued.

"They won't wait for us to show them that." His voice was so hopeless. It scared me more than anything before.

_What can I do? Let me help! I love you! There has to be a way to stop this!_ Then I closed my eyes again, obediently.

Mama echoed my thoughts aloud. "What can we do?"

"We fight." Emmett told me.

"We can't win," Jasper rebutted.

"Well we can't run, not with Dimitri around," Emmett argued. "And I don't know that we can't win. There are a few options to consider. We don't have to fight alone." _Emmett_, I thought with a sigh, _you told me about their army. Who would you condemn alongside us?_

Mama had an idea who. "We don't have to sentence the Quileutes to death either, Emmett." Her hair ceased to cover me, and I tried to remember that I was supposed to be asleep. It was hard.

"Chill, Bella. I didn't mean the pack. Be realistic though. Do you think Jacob or Sam is going to ignore an invasion, even if it wasn't about Nessie." They couldn't. They wouldn't, and they would die with the rest of us. Even my Jacob wouldn't escape. My despair was complete. "Not to mention that, thanks to Irina, Aro knows about our alliance with the pack now, too. But I was thinking of our other friends." Other vampires then. I felt a glimmer of hope.

"Other friends we don't have to sentence to death," Carlisle answered. My glimmer winked out.

"Hey, let's let them decide. I'm not saying they have to fight with us. If they just stand beside us, just long enough to make Volturi hesitate." I sped ahead of Emmett's thought. He wasn't as daft as I'd believed a minute ago. Not fight, just impose. A show of force to _make_ them stop, to let us show them. Other vampires would be crucial in this plan, but would it be enough? "Bella's right, after all. If we could force them to stop and listen... though that might take away reason for a fight." No, I was right before; he _was _daft.

"Yes!" Esme agreed. "That makes sense, Emmett. All we need is for the Volturi to pause for just one moment. Just long enough to listen."

"We'd need quite a show of witnesses," Rosalie contributed for the first time.

"We can ask that much of our friends; just to witness," Esme agreed.

"We'd do the same for them," Emmett put in.

"We'll have to ask them just right. They'll have to be shown very carefully," Alice said now. I was thrilled to hear her voice and my eyes opened again. If Alice was endorsing this plan it had a chance of succeeding. We needed to show the others first, then when they stood with us we could show the Volturi. There were a lot of decisions between here and there. Alice couldn't be sure. But she would find a way. She would find a way to save as many of us as possible. I trusted Alice. Edward wasn't looking at me any longer, his head level with Mama's now. I closed my eyes again quickly, feeling exposed, and clung to my new small hope.

"Shown?" Jasper asked.

I felt eyes on me and was sure no one bought my act. "Tanya's family, Siobhan's coven, Amun's, some of the nomads. Garrett and Mary for certain. Maybe Alistair." I had heard some of the names before. If Amun's coven was three like Siobhan's that brought the count to 21 vampires. That was a sizable group!

"What about Peter and Charlotte?" Jasper added. 23. Keep going, I thought. The counting soothed me.

"The Amazons?" Carlisle asked. 26. And how many nomads that hadn't been named? My hope rose with each addition.

There was a long pause and I started to become impatient. What was happening? "I can't see," Alice complained.

"What was that?" Edward asked. "That part in the jungle. Are we going to look for them?"

"I can't see," she repeated. I got the impression she was putting Edward off. "We'll have to split up and hurry, before the snow sticks to the ground. We have to round up whomever we can and get them here to show them. Ask Eleazar. There is more to this than an immortal child." I caught up with that thought quickly. I was the trigger, but I wasn't the reason. They were going to come anyway. I just gave them the excuse. I tried to remember what I knew of Eleazar. It wasn't much. He and Carmen were mates. They were in the Denali clan.

Alice broke my train of thought. "There is so much. We have to hurry."

"Alice, that was too fast; I didn't understand." Edward complained. "What was..."

"I can't see! Jacob's almost here!" Alice said now. She was putting him off. Why? What didn't she want him to see? Something in a jungle. Something she had trouble seeing...

"I'll deal with..." Rosalie offered quickly, but Alice objected.

"No, let him come. I'll see better away from Nessie, too. I need to go. I need to really concentrate. I need to see everything I can. I have to go. Come on Jasper, there's no time to waste." She would see better away from me? Of course, she had never been able to see me, but she could see fine _around_ me. This I added to my previous thoughts. She couldn't see. In the jungle... She was going to follow the trail. The one we had planned to follow ourselves when Mama returned from Italy. I couldn't be sure, of course, but that was my theory.

"Hurry! You have to find them all!" were her final words as she and Jasper raced out the door.

"Find what? Where'd Alice go?" Jacob asked as he crossed the threshold. I doubled my efforts on my sleeping act. Everyone else was distracted, but Jacob would have eyes only for me at first. And unlike Mama, he wasn't as quick to accept my sleeping act. "Hey Bells, I thought you guys would have gone home by now." His voice broke, and I knew he felt the tension in the room. "What? What happened?"

I felt his heat as he approached. "Is she okay?" he asked and brushed my skin. I thought for sure I was going to flinch and give up the game. "Don't mess with me, Bella. Please."

"Nothing's wrong with Renesmee." The pain in Mama's voice hurt my heart.

"Then who?"

"All of us, Jacob" she answered.

Carlisle exerted his compassion to retell the terrible story to Jacob. I was too busy in my thoughts. Alice was going to save us, I was sure of it, but we had to do our parts to save ourselves. My mind whirled around the names and numbers again. Would they be enough? Would they like me? Would we have enough time? Suddenly I was sure we needed the witnesses as much to stall for Alice to come back with what she was looking for as to actually save ourselves. My mind tried to stay on course, but before long, my act was needed no longer; I'd fallen asleep. Not surprisingly, my dreams were troubled, and my sleep uneasy.

Mama's shout woke me from nightmares of men and women in black cloaks. "Stay with Renesmee!" They hadn't taken me back to the cottage last night. Jacob was on all fours in front of me. He looked me in the eye, and I could feel his concern. He wanted to comfort me, to protect me from what was coming. Possibly to protect me from the knowledge of what was coming, assuming he'd bought my act.

"It's okay, Jacob," I told him, not moving from the couch. "Talk to the others. Tell me what's happening." He closed his eyes and huffed. I knew he wanted to be human, to comfort me, but that wasn't what I needed right now. As was so often the case, what I wanted most, what I needed most, was information.

When Jacob finally did phase he took a seat next to me on the couch. "It's not good, Nessie." How well I knew. I stood on the cushions to reach his cheek. I hugged him as I replayed the entire conversation from the night before. I let him see my concern, but that I knew my family could beat this. Together, we'd beat anything. I'd do anything I had to to help them.

"You're your Mama's girl," he whispered in my ear. "Stupid brave." I laughed a little; it got a bit choked though. I wondered why my throat wasn't working properly. Then we heard Leah's howl. He just patted my hand once before lifting it from his cheek. He hadn't dressed, so he phased immediately as he rose from the couch. I slid off to lean my head on his shoulder, bury my face in his fur, breathe in his scent. I didn't feel stupid brave now. I felt like a scared little girl who was hiding from the boogey man. Only I really was a little girl, and the boogey man really was coming for me. And not just one, a whole army. I shook a little. Jacob pulled away from me and I fell on my hands and knees, not ready to support myself again yet. He phased faster than ever and lifted me in his arms, squeezing me. "It's gonna be okay," he told me. I just patted his cheek and asked what Leah had to say.

"Actually it was Sam," he told me. "Passed a message to my pack through Collin. Your family just left him, they should be here any minute. Crap, I need pants." He held me in one arm, grabbing his sweatpants, and sat in a chair. He kept talking as he struggled awkwardly to put on his pants with one hand. "Alice and Jasper came to him, asking for passage to the coast, and for him to deliver a letter to the family when they eventually followed her." I shot the memory of Mama yelling on her way out. "That's right. Well, apparently Alice isn't coming back. He feels like a tool for not telling us right away, but she asked him not to. I told him he is a tool, and then phased back."

"Not a tool," I muttered, shaking my head. I couldn't make that one an image.

"Well a fool then." _Why?_ I wondered.

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett burst in. "Jacob, Nessie. We..." Carlisle began.

"We got it, doc. Just got the whole scoop from Sam." He growled a little. "Go get ready, we'll wait here for your goodbyes. Where's Bella and Edward?"

"Following another trail of Alice's." When Jacob didn't say anything else Carlisle bolted up the stairs after his wife.

Rosalie came back down first. She wasn't wearing her usual pretty things, but I could tell these were built to resist wear: tighter weaves, denser fabrics. She took me from Jacob and he didn't try to stop her. "You take care of her for me, mongrel. If I find a hair missing from her head, I'll scalp yours." She growled at him, all the while clinging to me.

"Yeah, I'll miss you too, blondie," he smirked at her.

She kissed my cheek then. "I'm gonna miss you so much, Nessie." She had always been reluctant to use the nickname, and it seemed more intimate now because of it. I showed her how much I was going to miss her too, but that I understood she had to go. I also put in an image of her holding Emmett back. She laughed. "I'll keep him out of trouble."

She passed me to Esme, who was back as well. "Oh, Ness. We'll be back as soon as we can, you know we will." I showed her the same as I had Rosalie, minus holding back Emmett. If they'd been traveling together I might have anyway, just for the joke. We needed all the humor any of us could find right now.

She kissed me, too, and I was passed to Carlisle now, who rose from a globe on the table. I'd seen it in his office before. Rosalie and Emmett were bent over it now, tracing routes with their fingers. "Don't worry, Ness. We'll take care of everything. Just don't grow too much while I'm gone." I showed the image of his tape stuck on the same number. "That's right," he smiled at me and Emmett claimed his hug.

He didn't say anything, just squeezed me so tight I thought my ribs might break. I coughed in warning. "Goodbye," he finally whispered and gave me back to Jacob. I half turned to hide in Jacob's chest, but I couldn't bear to lose one second of the time before they left us.

_We can do this,_ I reminded myself. Alice sees a way. It's not clear and we're going to have to do a lot of things just right. But we can do it.

Mama and Edward were back. The rest of my family had just moved to the door.

"We're to stay here?" Edward asked.

"Alice said that we would have to show people Renesmee, and that we would have to be careful about it," Carlisle told him. I remembered that. How had my father forgotten? "We'll send whomever we can find back here to you, Edward. You will be the best at fielding that particular mine field."

"There's a lot of ground to cover," Edward noted.

"We're splitting up," Emmett assured him.

"You'll have your hands full here," Carlisle added. "Tanya's family will be here in the morning and they have no idea why. First, you have to persuade them not to react the way Irina did. Second, you've got to find out what Alice meant about Eleazar. Then, after all of that, will they stay to witness for us? It will start again as the others come, if we can persuade anyone to come in the first place." They would; they had to. "Your job may well be the hardest. We'll be back to help as soon as we can."

I watched the final goodbyes to my parents, along with their exchange of wishes for luck. Did Jacob think Alice's plan would work?

"I don't know if Carlisle's friends will come. I hope so. Sounds like we're a little outnumbered right now," he told me. I knew that. Even if they all came, we were outnumbered. What did we do now? I wondered and asked Jacob, showing him what my family was doing. "No, we can't help. We've got to stay here. People are coming to see you, not the scenery." He'd misunderstood me; I tried not to let it bother me. Instead I showed us standing side by side. Would he stand with me? "No, I don't have to go anywhere," he assured me.

Suddenly he looked to Edward for his own assurance. "Do I?" he asked. "Spit it out!" He stood in his anger, and I slid to my feet.

"The vampires who are coming to help us are not the same as we are. Tanya's family is the only one besides ours with a reverence for human life, and even they don't think much of werewolves. I think it might be safer..."

"I can take of myself," Jacob objected.

"Safer for Renesmee, if the choice to believe our story about her is not tainted by an association with werewolves," Edward explained.

"Some friends. They turn on you just because of who you hang out with now?"

"I think they mostly would be tolerant, under normal circumstances. But you need to understand, accepting Nessie will not be an easy thing for any of them. Why make it even the slightest bit harder?" Edward was being remarkably patient, even for him. I understood that this wasn't going to be simple. No one was sending Jacob _away_. He just might have to leave the house for a time.

"The Immortal Children were really that bad?" Jacob asked.

"You can't imagine the depth of the scars they left in the vampire psyche," Edward informed us.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mama move to one of the computers. I'd learned how to use them, but there were still so many books for me to read that I hadn't bothered looking for things online yet.

"Edward..." Jacob was pleading now; it hurt to hear.

"I know, Jake." The compassion in my father's voice was palpable. I wondered what he was hearing in Jacob's head. "I know how hard it is to be away from her. We'll play it by ear. See how they react to her. In any case, Nessie is going to have to be _in cognito_ off and on in the next few weeks. She'll need to stay at the cottage until the right moment for us to introduce her. As long as you keep a safe distance from the main house..."

I edged closer to be able to peek at Mama's screen.

"I can do that," Jacob interrupted. "Company in the morning, huh?"

"Yes," Edward agreed. "The closest of our friends. In this particular case it's probably better if we get things out in the open as soon as possible. You can stay here. Tanya knows about you. She's even met Seth."

"Right."

I heard Mama drum her fingers on the desk. That seemed odd. I'd never noticed her do that before. I inched a little closer, still unable to make out the words on the screen.

"You should tell Sam what's going on. There could be strangers in the woods soon," Edward advised.

"Good point," Jacob conceded. "Though I owe him some silence after last night."

"Listening to Alice is usually the right thing," Edward argued.

Now I could read something on Mama's screen, The Law Office of Jason Jenks. Her next search was in a font too small for me to read at this distance, and it occurred to me that her actions were meant to avoid notice. This wasn't something she wanted Edward to know about, which meant this was something she didn't want _me_ to know about. Giving up access to information of any sort always galled me. I would not be ignorant if I didn't have to be, but I also understood the need for secrets, especially since I had learned about the Volturi. If Mama wanted this to be a secret, I could respect that. I waited for her to finish her search.

Instead I thought about what Jacob was saying to my father. Why would he give Sam the silent treatment? Why would he think Sam was being used by Alice? Well he was, but we all were, all the time. That wasn't a bad thing. Edward was looking at me now, and I tried to make my thoughts blank. I shouldn't be intruding on their plans. I would follow his instructions in the days to come. I was smarter than the average kid, but I acknowledged that I was a kid. I didn't have all the information they did. My wild theories and speculations probably only confused things.

When the screen went blank I made my steps a little heavier and approached. Mama held her arms open to me as I did to her. I jumped to be held. Being held by Mama made everything more bearable. I wasn't Jasper, but I could feel the pain she felt. The pain all my family felt. The danger facing all of us. The wolves. My human family. I wanted to comfort her as she did me. I showed her all those faces. Carlisle and Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, all packed and ready to go, determined. Jasper and Alice, smiling at one another. Jacob, who feared for me and feared with me. Seth, Leah, Embry, Sam, all the wolves faced this danger with us; they would not stand aside. Quil and Claire. I flipped quickly to Charlie, Sue and Billy. I didn't linger on the image of my newest little friend, thinking of her without her big companion. It would be like me without Jacob - impossible. But I would stand with Jacob, I would help. Claire could do nothing to lessen the risk to her Quil. I vowed to myself that I would do that for her; I would keep us all safe. The familiar images did seem to calm Mama somewhat. Or maybe it was my determination that together we could do this. The danger was great, but we would face it. Finally I rested on Alice. My trust in Alice. My curiosity. What was she going to do? Where had she gone? When would she be back?

"I don't know," Mama answered me. "But she's Alice. She's doing the right thing, like always." Mama was right. Yet there was something in her tone. Perhaps just more concern. Alice was in the least danger of any of us. "I miss her too," Mama told me, and I felt her cheek moving oddly under my hand. I slid back to look at her face. Her expression was pained. It was full of grief. I stroked her cheek. I wanted to murmur to her, but didn't trust my voice now. I felt my face mirror hers, her emotions reflecting on me. She was trying to cry, I realized as a tear formed in my eye. She kissed my cheek, and I touched the corner of my eye, surprised.

"Don't cry," she told me. "It's going to be okay." Of course it was. I wished she believed what she said. "You're going to be fine. I will find you a way through this."

What? Find _me _a way through this? What kind of life would I have without Mama? How could she think of abandoning me? Of course, she didn't see it that way. She was planning to sacrifice herself to save me. _"How Bella," _Jacob would say. I was suddenly angry with her. If I, who had so much less information than she, could still find some fine thread of hope to cling to, how could she give up? I gave her one more kiss on the cheek and turned to sit with Jacob. I didn't much want to be around Mama right now. Then he left me, too; off to patrol for incoming 'friends,' though it was unlikely any would arrive before the Denalis in the morning.

I moved to my father instead. I still kept my thoughts mostly to myself. "You probably need a nap," he informed me. "You had a late night." He pulled me into his arms and cradled me into his chest. I drifted off quickly to his improvised lullaby.

Mama and Edward took me to the cottage that night. I pulled my flute from my crib and mentally cursed the bars, hoping my father heard me. I didn't need a cage for a bed. Mama watched me from the doorway. It had been a few days since I'd last played Jacob's flute. I started playing the lullaby Edward had hummed for me on my first day and again today. It wasn't long before I heard accompaniment from the sitting room and paused at the end of a passage to climb out of my crib, run and jump up next to my father on the piano bench. He smiled down at me as he continued to play. I improvised a bridge as he followed my lead, changing the key into something minor. I filled the next section with all my fear, all my anxiety. The music was low and sorrowful. I tempered it with my love for my family, those here and those away. I added a sweet note of hope toward the end. Edward stopped following me as I finished this passage and returned to the main theme, his. In this key it felt completely different. I stretched my tiny fingers to cover more and more holes as I pulled the notes down. I pulled larger breaths as I made the music slow. I held the last low note a long time.

When I took the flute from my mouth, Mama applauded. I just looked up at my father on the bench next to me. "Thank you," I told him.

"Thank you," he told me.

I put my tiny arms on either side of his waist and he wrapped his long ones around my shoulders. We were quickly joined by Mama, kneeling beside us to hug us both. Then I wrapped my arms around her neck and let her tuck me into bed.

* * *

Thanks to my beta, Jenniemae


	7. Chapter 7: Stage Fright

I woke when I heard murmuring through the wall next to my crib. That meant they were in the closet, dressing. I put my ear to the wall trying to hear what my parents were saying. I didn't make out any of it before the voices faded.

I had heard a lot about my mother's days before she became the beautiful creature I knew and loved. She had often deceived Grandpa the way I tried to deceive her now. The consensus seemed to be that he preferred to believe her stories and acts rather than discover an unwanted truth. Apparently my mother was much the same. I knew thinking I was asleep would let her voice her concerns and fears more readily than if I was awake; I could do this for her. Laing my head back down, I pretended to be sleeping. She held me very close to her, but my face was on her arm, turned away, half covered in my own hair.

"Edward, will you teach me how to fight?" My eyes flew open. I stared at my father, with his hand on the door. My terror at this thought seemed diminutive compared to his. What was she thinking? This couldn't come down to a fight. Edward met my eyes briefly and I knew he'd heard that thought and agreed.

"If it comes to a fight," he told her, "there won't be much any of us can do."

"Would you leave me unable to defend myself?" Why was she pursuing this? We had to make them listen, not fight them!

I heard a creak from the door as my father's hand dented the handle. "When you put it that way. I suppose we should get to work as soon as we can."

Mama followed him out then and they walked to the big house. I closed my eyes again, just in case Mama looked down at me.

"What would you say their biggest advantage is? Do they even have a weakness?" Mama asked Edward. Certainly having a well thought battle plan was not a bad idea, but there were so many better things to worry about, I thought.

"Alec and Jane are their greatest offense." I had heard those names listed, but didn't know a lot more. They weren't fighters, they were... _crowd control,_ I think was how Emmett had described it. "Their defensive players rarely see any real action," he added.

"Because Jane can burn you where you stand, mentally at least." I froze in Mama's arms. Crowd control indeed! "What does Alec do? Didn't you once say he was even more dangerous than Jane?"

"Yes. In a way, he is the antidote to Jane. She makes you feel the worst pain imaginable. Alec, on the other hand, makes you feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. Sometimes, when the Volturi are feeling kind, they have Alec anesthetize someone before he is executed. If he has surrendered or pleased them in some other way," my father told us.

"Anesthetic? But how is that more dangerous than Jane?" Mama asked my question for me.

"Because he cuts off your senses altogether. No pain, but also no sight or sound or smell. Total sensory deprivation. You are utterly alone in the blackness." That reminded me of when I'd been held inside Mama, except of course that I'd been able to hear. It wasn't so bad. "You don't even feel it when they burn you." I felt sick; that was bad. But my father wasn't finished informing us. "That would make him only equally as dangerous as Jane, in that they both can incapacitate you, make you into a helpless target. The difference between them is like the difference between Aro and me. Aro hears the mind of only one person at a time. Jane can only hurt the one object of her focus. I can hear everyone at the same time."

_Crowd control,_ I thought again. "And Alec can incapacitate all of us at the same time," Mama filled in.

"Yes, if he uses his gift against us, we will all stand blind and deaf until they get around to killing us. Maybe they'll simply burn us without bothering to tear us apart first." My hope now was feeble next to the fear. "Oh, we could try to fight, but we'll be more likely to hurt one another than we would be to hurt one of them." Daddy was telling scary stories, I tried to convince myself. But deep down I knew he wouldn't lie about this. I tried not to cry. My father was keeping my alertness from my mother, and I wanted to hear more of this disastrous plan. She wouldn't continue if I were awake.

"Do you think Alec is a very good fighter?" she asked. My eyes flew open again. Was she insane? I thought Emmett was daft; she was crazy. We could _not_ let this become a fight.

"What are you thinking?" Edward asked her. There wasn't nearly enough incredulity in his voice. I knew what she was thinking, and she _was _insane.

"Well he probably can't do that to me, can he? If what he does is like Aro and Jane and you. Maybe, if he's never really had to defend himself... and I learned a few tricks."

Edward's face now echoed mine. "He's been with the Volturi for centuries! Yes, you're surely immune to his power, but you are still a newborn, Bella. I can't make you that strong a fighter in a few weeks. I'm sure he's had training."

"Maybe, maybe not. It's the one thing I can do that no one else can. Even if I can just distract him for a while, could I last long enough to give the others a chance?" And, of course, the rest of the guard would just stand around while we were incapacitated so she could take on Alec one-on-one.

I'm sure I did whimper then, but she didn't notice in Edward's terse reply. "Please, Bella. Let's not talk about this."

"Be reasonable," she chided him.

"I will try to teach you what I can, but please don't make me think about you sacrificing yourself as a diversion." I imagined my mother, being the first torn to pieces, while my father was unable to help her... My father's voice choked off, reading my thought. I tried to rein in my nightmarish images. I didn't want see them. I didn't want him to see them. What was she thinking?

"I have to learn everything. As much as you can possibly cram into my head in the next month." She wasn't letting this go, determined to stand alone in front of all of us and face the entirety of the Guard. She was stupid brave. I tried to find smart brave. Where had my hope and bravery gone? Right, she'd thrown it with herself into their hands. We could not let this come to a fight. Edward's eyes kept flicking to me. I hadn't bothered to close mine again. She was too busy in her thoughts to check my face anyhow, with her insane planning of which guard to take in which order. Like Felix wouldn't just snap her like a twig when it was obvious she didn't fall under Alec's spell. Edward winced at that thought.

"Demetri," she said then.

"Demetri is mine," my father said with authority. Not Edward, too.

"Why?"

"For Alice. It's the only thanks I can give her now for the last fifty years." _Alice_. Alice would be free to continue whatever quest she was on without someone tracking her down. If it did come to a fight... I couldn't bear to contemplate it. It. Would. Not.

Jacob came up then, and I looked pleadingly into his eyes. I wished he could hear my thoughts like Edward._ Please, please, please, _I begged him, _talk sense to my mother._

"Edward, why do you think Alice told us to ask Eleazar about the Volturi?" Whoa. That was a good question. Mama had found her brain again. I was overcome with relief. "Has he been in Italy recently or something? What could he know?"

I waited eagerly for Edward's reply. "Eleazar knows everything when it comes to the Volturi. I forgot you didn't know. He used to be one of them."

Mama hissed, Jacob growled and I wanted to clap my hands. Of course! He'll know the reason! The _real_ reason. I saw my father smile a little and thought he'd heard that one, but he had to address the question Jacob and Mama were shouting at him, neither verbally, of course.

"Eleazar is a very gentle person. He wasn't entirely happy with the Volturi, but he respected the law and its need to be upheld." I listened with one part of my mind while trying to guess what Eleazar might know. Of course, I had no basis to start from so it was mostly wild speculation. Aro was actually infatuated with humans who clung to vampires. Caius held a grudge that my family hadn't killed or turned Bella on the spot. They were feeble and I'm sure some would have made my father laugh if he'd been listening and able.

Jacob asked the more pertinent question of Edward. "No, he wasn't one their warriors, so to speak. He had a gift they found convenient."

He paused listening to my question, probably Mama and Jacob's too. _What gift?_ "He has an instinctive feel for the gifts of others, the extra abilities some vampires have. He could give Aro a general idea of what any given vampire was capable of just by being in proximity with him or her. This was helpful when the Volturi went into battle. He could warn them if someone in the opposing coven had a skill that might give them some trouble. That was rare; it takes quite a skill to even inconvenience the Volturi." I could well imagine that. "More often, the warning would give Aro the chance to save someone who might be useful to him. Eleazar's gift works even with humans, to an extent. He has to really concentrate with humans though, because the latent ability is so nebulous. Aro would have him test the people who wanted to join, to see if they had any potential. Aro was sorry to see him go." Of course he was. I was very glad he hadn't been in Italy when Mama had been there.

"They let him go?" Mama asked. "Just like that?"

"The Volturi aren't supposed to be the villains," Edward tried to explain to her, "the way they seem to you. They are the foundation of our peace and civilization. Each member of the guard chooses to serve them. It's quite prestigious; they all are proud to be there, not forced to be there. They're only alleged to be heinous and evil by the criminals, Bella."

I resented that; so did Mama. "We're not criminals." Jacob huffed his agreement.

"They don't know that." Hence the plan, we stop them and tell them, nowhere in there was fighting with them.

"Do you really think we can make them stop and listen?" Mama asked. She really didn't have hope.

"If we find enough friends to stand beside us, maybe." He had about as much hope as I did, and we clung to it.

They ran with me the rest of the way to the house. Edward reminded us that the Denali vampires were due any moment. I gave over my act to listen to his plan. He would approach them first and then I would be revealed at the end of his preparation. So I sat with Mama and Jacob, now wearing his usual T-shirt and sweatpants, in the dining room. We were just out of sight of the doorway. I felt a flutter in my middle. It was like a small bird was flapping its wings inside my belly. I was afraid, but I couldn't describe what I was afraid of. These new vampires, most likely. I held Mama's cheek, unable to show the bird in my middle or the vampires I'd never seen.

Then I found the words for my feelings, "What if they don't like me?" This all came down to me right now. I _had_ to make them like me. If they didn't accept me and left again there was no hope at all. I had wanted to help, but had never dreamed my part would be so integral.

Jacob, as usual, jumped in to give me what he thought I wanted, "Of course they'll..." Mama made him stop. I wanted so much for them to like me, but I needed to know what we did if I couldn't do my part.

Mama came closer the mark. "They don't understand you, Renesmee, because they've never met anyone like you. Getting them to understand is the problem." Right. This wasn't all on me. _Edward is my wingman,_ I thought, using Jacob's term for Quil and Embry.

Then I sighed and thought about all the people I loved, all the people who loved me. I hadn't had to work to win any of them. I showed them to Mama. She didn't quite catch my meaning. "You're special, that's not a bad thing." I _was _special. This was _how _I was special; I could make them like me.

It didn't really change things though. It certainly didn't change the fear and concern I saw in each of their faces. I showed them to Mama and then said aloud, "This is my fault." I was the trigger. If I weren't here, they wouldn't have come.

They were quick to protest, but didn't get more than a "No," out before we heard a car driving up to the house. My fear of the strangers who I had to win over made me hide in Mama's hair, my favorite hiding place.

Edward stood alone to greet them. I listened intently, I wanted to know what he told them of me, be prepared for my part in this plan. I was terrified!

"Edward!" came a female voice. It was friendly and that relaxed me a little. Right, these people were our friends, only strange to me. He greeted them in return. The first voice resumed, she must have been Tanya, the leader. "Carlisle said he needed to talk to us right away. What's the problem, trouble with the werewolves?" I saw Jacob roll his eyes. That made me feel better too.

"No, our truce with the werewolves is stronger than ever." Jacob punctuated Edwards statement by looking deep into my eyes, filtered through Mama's hair.

"Aren't you going to invite us in? Where's Carlisle?" She knew something was up and was sniffing for the reason.

"Carlisle had to leave."

"What's going on, Edward," she demanded now. He'd better work fast if he was going to keep them receptive for me.

"If you could give me the benefit of the doubt for just a few minutes," he began. "I have something difficult to explain, and I'll need you to be open-minded until you understand."

"Is Carlisle all right?" the only male asked.

"None of us is all right, Eleazar. But physically Carlisle is fine." _Nice evasion, father, but that's not going to put them at ease_.

"Physically?" Tanya asked sharply. _See_, I thought. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that my entire family is in very grave danger. But before I explain, I ask for your promise. Listen to everything I say before you react. I am begging you to hear me out." We needed more from them than that, but without this first step the rest couldn't happen.

"We're listening," Tanya said after a long moment. "We will hear it all before we judge."

"Thank you, Tanya. We wouldn't involve you in this if we had any other choice," he assured her. I heard the four of them move into the house.

"I knew those werewolves were involved." That was Tanya again, smelling Jacob.

"Yes, and they're on our side. Again." Jacob grinned a little at that.

"Where's your Bella?" a different female asked. "How is she?"

"She'll join us shortly." My fright increased again - it wouldn't be long now. "She's well thank you. She's taken to immortality with amazing finesse."

"Tell us about the danger, Edward. We'll listen, and we'll be on your side, where we belong." I prayed they would.

"I'd like you to witness for yourselves first." His voice was authoritative again. Almost ordering them to follow his logic. "Listen, in the other room, what do you hear?"

"A werewolf, I assume. I can hear his heart," Tanya was the first to answer. Edward asked for another.

"What is that thrumming?" it was the other female again. "Is that some kind of bird?" I smiled; I wished I was a bird.

"No, but remember what you're hearing. Now, what do you smell? Besides werewolf," he threw in.

"Is there a human here?" Eleazar asked.

"No." it was Tanya who argued. "It's not human, but, closer to human than the rest of the scents here. What is that, Edward? I don't think I've ever smelled that fragrance before."

"You most certainly have not, Tanya," he assured her. "Please. Please remember that this is something entirely new to you. Throw away your preconceived notions." I knew it wasn't enough. They were still going to _see _what they expected to see and assume all that came from something else. But my time was up.

"I promised you I would listen, Edward," Tanya reminded him.

"All right, then. Bella? Bring out Renesmee, please."

Mama stood, and I thought I was going to shake right out of her arms. I had never been so frightened in my life. The bird in my middle was flying circles now. I was glad Jacob stayed close to us; I couldn't do this without him.

When Mama stopped walking I knew what I had to do. I felt safely hidden here in her hair, but they had to see me. Despite the fact I wanted more than anything to run away, my family needed me to do this. So I took a deep breath and peeked out. It was as bad as I expected.

One woman jumped back four steps to the other side of the room. Another was at the door. Eleazar crouched to protect his mate from the unstable urges of a child vampire. I wanted to cry, and turned my face back into Mama.

"Oh please," Jacob muttered and that made me feel a little better. He thought they were overreacting, maybe they were.

Edward put his arm around us and told them, "You promised to listen." _You should have made them promise to see_, I thought at him.

"Some things cannot be heard!" Again I thought hearing wasn't the problem, but Tanya continued, "How could you, Edward? Do you not know what this means?"

"We have to get out of here," said the woman at the door, her hand now on the knob.

"Wait! Remember what you hear, what you smell. Renesmee is not what you think she is." His voice carried the same authority from before. It reminded me of Carlisle.

"There are no exceptions to this rule, Edward."

"Tanya, you can her heartbeat!" he chided her. "Stop and think about what that means."

Then, for the first time someone really looked at me. Not a glance and a jump, but really looked. She was Carmen, peering around Eleazar. Her golden eyes met mine and I knew she would understand. She would help me. "Her heartbeat?" she asked. Her voice was accented, but I didn't recognize it, except to know it was similar to Eleazar's.

"She's not a full vampire child." Edward focused on Carmen now too; she was our key. "She is half-human." And then his voice took on a timbre even more weighted than before. It held not only authority but truth, age, wisdom all together. I thought of when I had heard Billy tell stories. He could sound like this too. "Renesmee is one of a kind. I am her father," the words sent a ripple through my chest and the bird seemed to quiet some. It was like he'd written his name on my heart with his words. "Not her creator, her biological father."

Eleazar interrupted him, "Edward, you can't expect us to..."

"Tell me another explanation that fits, Eleazar. You can feel the warmth of her body in the air. Blood runs in her veins, Eleazar. You can smell it," my father answered.

"How?" came from the woman by the door.

"Bella is her biological mother. She conceived, carried and gave birth to Renesmee while she was still human." These words sent a shiver through me too. I had once read a creed from a book in Carlisle office. The tone of these words reminded me of that. "It nearly killed her. I was hard-pressed to get enough venom into her heart to save her."

"I've never heard of such a thing," Eleazar objected. I could tell he was a very old vampire. If he hadn't seen it, it couldn't be, in his mind.

"Physical relationships between vampires and humans are not common," my father reminded them. "Human survivors of such trysts are even less common. Wouldn't you agree, cousins?"

What had that meant? Tanya and the one by door, Kate she must be, scowled at him.

Then he addressed Eleazar again, "Come now, Eleazar, Surely you can see the resemblance."

I hadn't taken my eyes off Carmen, and now she stepped around Eleazar to approach me. I knew she would help me. The bird stopped flying altogether as I locked my eyes with hers. "You seem to have your mother's eyes," she said, "but your father's face." I nodded slightly, and she smiled at me. I smiled back, thanking her as I did so.

I reached up to Mama without breaking eye contact to ask if I could touch Carmen. That would be crucial.

She spoke for me, "Do you mind if Renesmee tells you about if herself? She has a gift for explaining things."

"Do you speak, little one?" Carmen asked me.

"Yes," I answered quickly, "but I can show you more than I can tell you."

An image of the Volturi standing against my family filled my mind. I put her family alongside mine and shadows to stand in place of those yet to come.

As was common of those I touch the first time, she froze. Eleazar came to her defense, but she waved him aside. "Wait."

Then I started at the beginning. I showed her my birth. Bella, broken and bleeding, my poor Mama. I showed her Jacob. Tying himself to me. I showed her Carlisle's repeated measurements. I showed her me, using the toilet, something no vampire would ever do. I showed her my fear. I showed her how frightened I was that she and her family would turn and walk away now. I repeated what Alice had told us, how we needed to gather as many as possible. That Eleazar knew the real reason. I needed her help.

Jacob grew impatient as my mental movie continued. "What's Nessie showing her?"

"Everything," my father told him.

My final image was one of her smile, just a moment ago. Me beside her, her hugging me: we would be friends. I wasn't Alice, I couldn't predict such things, I just knew it.

"She really is your daughter, isn't she?" Carmen mused. "Such a vivid gift! It could only have come from a very gifted father."

"Do you believe what she showed you?" Edward asked.

"Without a doubt," Carmen vowed. We had our key; we could unlock the rest. If I were bigger, I'd give Edward a high-five.

Eleazar was not pleased. "Carmen!"

And, as I'd known she would, Carmen squeezed his hands and nudged Eleazar toward me. "Impossible as it seems, Edward has told you nothing but truth. Let the child show you. Show him, _mi querida_."

I didn't know what that meant, but I liked it. Placing my hand on Eleazar's forehead, I prepared to start with the image of my birth.

"_Ay caray!_" he hissed as he jumped backward. I was insulted a bit; I had thought he would like me and my pictures.

"What did she do to you?" Tanya asked. Kate took her first steps back into the room.

"She's just trying to show you her side of the story," Carmen insisted.

I tried not to let my disappointment at his response bother me too much. Perhaps I needed a more soothing image to start - being held, hearing Edward's voice the first time - and then move to the birth. Maybe that image was just too shocking. I saw Edward nod out of the corner of my eye.

I held my hand out to Eleazar, not quite touching him. "Watch, please," I asked trying to imitate Edward's authority; I was sure I got it wrong. He did lean forward and shudder, but then let me show him, my birth, my growth, my mind. I showed him learning letters, reading, running, hunting. I showed him how I grew, how I adapted. I didn't show him as much as Carmen, though.

"Ahhh. I see," he said when I stopped the flow of images. I smiled at him, hoping he liked me now, too. It wasn't immediate but he did smile back at me. Relief washed over me. _Thank you Carmen! _I thought.

"Eleazar?" Tanya asked.

"It's all true, Tanya. This is no immortal child. She's half-human. Come, see for yourself."

As I replayed my memories for Tanya and Kate, I further refined it, making the concepts shorter, including only the most vital. I added a couple: Grandpa, the parts of him I shared, eyes and curls; playing with Claire, pretending to be human with her. They each smiled at me, too; they liked me. I had done it. This was my part to play, and I had done it. I would trust Alice to take care of the rest. I'd win over anymore who came here; I wasn't afraid any longer.

"Thank you for listening," Edward told them. _More than listening,_ I reminded him.

Tanya moved to the next point, the previous point, tabled while I was introduced. "But there is the grave danger you warned us of. Not directly from this child, I see, but surely from the Volturi then." She was quick; I liked her. "How did they find out about her? Why are they coming?"

"When Bella saw Irina that day in the mountains, she had Renesmee with her." Edward needed give no more explanation than this.

"Irina did this? To you? To Carlisle? Irinia?" Kate was livid. Surely she could understand why her sister did this.

Tanya was in disbelief as well "No... Someone else."

"Alice saw her go to them." Edward removed all doubt.

"How could she do this thing?" Eleazar asked as well.

Edward shared my compassion and empathy. Well, maybe he didn't, but he explained anyway, "Imagine if you had seen Renesmee only from a distance. If you had not waited for our explanation." _Imagine what you were about to do before I caught Carmen's eye, _I thought.

"No matter what she thought, you are our family." Tanya objected

"There's nothing we can do about Irina's choice now. It's too late. Alice gave us a month." _34 days_, I thought to myself.

"So long?" Eleazar seemed confused.

"They are all coming." Edward explained. "That must take some preparation."

"The entire guard?" Eleazar gasped.

"Not just the guard. Aro, Caius, Marcus. Even the wives." They all stared at Edward.

"Impossible." Eleazar was the first to find his tongue again.

"I would have said the same two days ago."

"But that doesn't make any sense," Eleazar protested. "Why would they put themselves and the wives in danger?"

"It doesn't make sense from that angle." Edward agreed. "Alice said there was more to this than just punishment for what they think we've done. She thought you could help us."

"More than punishment?" Eleazar mused. "But what else is there?" He began to pace and I looked to Carmen again. _Help him_, I thought to her,_ if you can._

"Where are the others, Edward?" Tanya asked. "Carlisle and Alice and the rest?"

"Looking for friends who might help us."

"Edward, no matter how many friends you gather, we can't help you win." Everyone thought this was going to be a fight. It couldn't come to that. "We can only die with you. You must know that. Of course, perhaps the four of us deserve that after what Irina has done now, after how we've failed you in the past. For her sake that time as well." I thought of Carmen being among those torn apart and was saddened. We couldn't let it come to that.

"We're not asking you to fight and die with us, Tanya," Edward objected. "You know Carlisle would never ask for that."

"Then what, Edward?" Tanya asked.

"We're just looking for witnesses. If we can make them pause, just for a moment. If they would let us explain..." he touched my cheek and I held his hand tightly filling my thoughts with us as a team. "It's difficult to doubt our story when you see it for yourself."

"Do you think her past will matter to them so much?" Tanya queried.

"Only as it foreshadows her future. The point of the restriction was to protect us from exposure, from the excesses of children who could not be tamed."

"I'm not dangerous at all," I reminded them. "I never hurt Grandpa or Sue or Billy. I love humans. And wolf-people like my Jacob." I let go of Edward's hand to grasp my other partner. My partner not in this, but in forever.

"If Irina had not come so soon we could have avoided all of this." Edward thought aloud. "Renesmee grows at an unprecedented rate. By the time the month is past, she'll have gained another half-year of development."

"Well, that is something we can certainly witness," Carmen assured. "We'll be able to promise that we've seen her mature ourselves. How could the Volturi ignore such evidence?"

"How indeed?" The question came from Eleazar, who I only noticed when he crossed my peripheral vision in his pacing. He was hard to keep up with. I hoped he found the reason soon.

"Yes, we can witness for you," Tanya agreed. "Certainly that much. We will consider what more we might do."

"Tanya, we don't expect you to fight with us," Edward reminded her.

"If the Volturi won't pause to listen to our witness, we cannot simply stand by," she insisted. "Of course, I should only speak for myself."

"Do you really doubt me so much, sister?" Kate protested.

"It _is_ a suicide mission, after all," Tanya reminded her. _No!_ I wanted to scream. _No fighting!_

Kate grinned and shrugged, "I'm in."

"I, too, will do what I can to protect the child," Carmen chimed. Then she held her hands out to me. "May I hold you, _bebe linda_?"

I stretched to her and listened to her language, grasping at the beautiful words and wondering at their meanings. She distracted me from the craziness crashing down upon us all. She made me safe again. She brought me more hope than I'd felt since waking that awful night. I fought not to lose all attachment to the room though. Eleazar still had something to reveal.


	8. Chapter 8: The Reason

"A very talented family," Eleazar murmured as he paced. His pacing brought him to Carmen and I every other second. "A mind reader for a father, a shield for a mother, and then whatever magic this extraordinary child has bewitched us with. I wonder if there is a name for what she does, or if it is the norm for a vampire hybrid. As if such a thing could ever be considered normal. A vampire hybrid, indeed!" He didn't break stride through his rant. But my father caught him on his next pass.

"Excuse me? What did you just call my wife?"

"A shield, I _think_. She's blocking me now so I can't be sure." So Mama's gift had a name.

"A shield," my father murmured. Yes, it sounded right. She was always so protective of those she loved, she would be a shield.

"Come now, Edward! If I can't get a read on her, I doubt you can either. Can you hear her thoughts right now?"

"No, but I've never been able to do that. Even when she was human."

"Never?" Eleazar was surprised. "Interesting, that would indicate a rather powerful latent talent, if it was manifesting so clearly even before the transformation. I can't feel a way through her shield to get a sense of it all. Yet she must be raw still, she's only a few months old. And apparently completely unaware of what she's doing. Totally unconscious. Ironic. Aro sent me all over the world searching for such anomalies, and you simply stumble across it by accident and don't even realize what you have." I hated to think of Aro wanting Mama, but I liked knowing she was powerful.

She was confused, of course. "What are you talking about? How can I be a _shield_? What does that even mean?"

"I suppose we were overly formal about it in the guard." Eleazar explained. "In truth, categorizing talents is a subjective, haphazard business; every talent is unique, never exactly the same thing twice. But you, Bella, are fairly easy to classify. Talents that are purely defensive, that protect some aspect of the bearer, are always called shields. Have you ever tested your abilities? Blocked anyone besides me and your mate?" She blocked everyone, always, I thought. I noticed the women around me were focusing more on the conversation now too.

"It only works with certain things. My head is sort of... private. But it doesn't stop Jasper from being able to mess with my mood, or Alice from seeing my future," She told him.

"Purely a mental defense." He nodded. "Limited, but strong."

"Aro couldn't read her, though she was human at the time." My father sounded slightly smug.

Mama continued to share, "Jane tried to hurt me, but she couldn't. Edward thinks Demetri can't find me, and that Alec can't bother me, either. Is that good?" _It is if you don't get yourself killed_, I thought to her.

Eleazar agreed, "Quite."

"A shield!" My father's smugness had grown into pride now. "I never thought of it that way. The only one I've ever met before was Renata, and what she did was so different."

"Yes," Eleazar agreed, "no talent ever manifests in precisely the same way, because no one ever thinks in exactly the same way."

"Who's Renata?" Mama wondered. "What does she do?" I was curious too.

"Renata is Aro's personal bodyguard," Eleazar informed us. "A very practical kind of shield, and a very strong one. I wonder... You see, Renata is a powerful shield against a physical attack. If someone approaches her or Aro, as she is always close beside him in a hostile situation, they find themselves, diverted. There's a force around her that repels, though it's almost unnoticeable. You simply find yourself going in a different direction than you planned, with a confused memory as to why you wanted to go that other way in the first place. She can project her shield several meters out from herself. She also protects Caius and Marcus, too, when they have a need, but Aro is her priority." Project to protect others. Could Mama do as she so fervently wished, protect us?

"What she does isn't physical though," Eleazar continued. "Like the vast majority of our gifts, it takes place inside the mind. If she tried to keep you back, I wonder who would win? I've never heard of Aro's or Jane's gifts being thwarted." _Don't give her ideas_, I thought. Attacking Aro, she was crazy enough to try! But her expression showed she was still having trouble grasping that she had a gift. I was sure she hadn't realized she could shield others.

"Mama, you're special," I told her.

"Can you project?" Kate asked her. I was glad. I wanted her to know this part of her power too. Anything to keep her from fighting.

"Project?"

"Push it out from yourself. Shield someone besides yourself." She wouldn't miss it now. I grinned.

"I don't know. I've never tried. I didn't know I should do that."

"Oh," Kate backtracked, "you might not be able to. Heavens knows I've been working on it for centuries and the best I can do is run a current over my skin."_ So... what was her gift?_ I asked my father.

"Kate's got an offensive skill. Sort of like Jane," he answered.

Mama flinched away from Kate and she laughed. "I'm not sadistic about it," she assured Mama. "It's just something that comes in handy during a fight."

She shot forward and grabbed Kate's arm, "You have to teach me what to do!"_ She has the idea now,_ I thought. "You have to show me how!"

"Maybe," Kate winced, "if you stop trying to crush my radius."

"Ooops! Sorry!" I almost laughed.

"You're shielding all right," Kate commented. "That move should have about shocked your arm off. You didn't feel anything just now?"

My father wasn't happy, "That wasn't really necessary, Kate. She didn't mean any harm."

Mama wasn't paying attention. "No, I didn't feel anything," she answered. "Were you doing your electric-current thing?"

"I was. Hmmm. I've never met anyone who couldn't feel it, immortal or otherwise."

"You said you can project it? On your skin?" Mama asked.

Kate nodded. "It used to be just in my palms." _Like me!_ I thought. "Kind of like Aro." I frowned.

"Or Renesmee," Edward smiled at me. _Thanks, father. _I wondered if I could do this too. In two ways. I wondered if I could send thoughts when people touched me and when I touched places other than their heads. If I could do this by shaking a hand... That made me think of Aro again, yuck. Then I noticed my father whispering with Eleazar; they'd hit on something, I was sure of it.

"Can you think of even one exception though?" he was asking the former guard.

"I don't want to think of them that way," Eleazar objected. "If you're right..."

"The thought was yours," my father objected now too, "not mine."

"If I'm right," Eleazar corrected, "I can't even grasp what that would mean. It would change everything about the world we've created. It would change the meaning of my life. What I have been a part of."

"Your intentions were always the best, Eleazar," Edward reassured him.

"Would that even matter? What have I done? How many lives..."

He was silenced by Tanya's hand on his shoulder. "What did we miss, my friend? I want to know so that I can argue with these thoughts. You've never done anything worth castigating yourself this way."

"Oh, haven't I?" he snapped. He began pacing again, I showed his face to Carmen, knowing she was already concerned for him. I just wanted her to know I cared too.

Tanya was impatient now. "Explain," she demanded of Edward.

"He was trying to understand why so many of the Volturi would come to punish us. It's not the way they do things. Certainly, we are the biggest mature coven they've dealt with, but in the past other covens have joined to protect themselves, and they never presented much of a challenge despite their numbers. We are more closely bonded, and that's a factor but not a huge one."

Eleazar paused before changing direction. Edward continued, "He was remembering other times that covens have been punished, for one thing or the other, and a pattern occurred to him. It was a pattern that the rest of the guard would never have noticed, since Eleazar was the one passing the pertinent information directly to Aro. A pattern only repeated once every other century or so." This was it. This was the reason, I could feel it.

"What was this pattern?" Carmen asked for me.

"Aro does not often personally attend a punishing expedition," Edward continued. "But in the past, when Aro wanted something in particular, it was never long before evidence turned up proving that this coven or that coven..." my mind logged the words but I'd stopped listening. They didn't want to kill my family. They wanted my family. They wanted Alice and my father, and Mama! Aro couldn't have them. They were mine. I would never let him take them from me. He would want Alice to be able to see the future. He would want Edward so as not to have to touch those whose thoughts he desired. And he'd want Mama... Oh Mama. He'd want her shield to protect him from anything that might be thrown his way. I would never let it happen.

Suddenly I understood Mama's crazy desire to jump Alec. If I could have lunged at Aro's throat that minute, I doubt even Renata could have diverted me.

Now what they were discussing reached me. One of the guards was named Chelsea. one who made people want to join the guard, one who made people forget their loyalties to each other. I felt sick again.

"I could only think that the reason Aro had decided to come himself," Eleazar was continuing a previous thought, "to bring so many with him, is because his goal is not punishment but acquisition. He needs to be there to control the situation. But he needs the entire guard for protection from such a large, gifted coven. On the other hand, that leaves the other ancients unprotected in Volterra. Too risky, someone might try to take advantage. So they all come together. How else could he be sure to preserve the gifts that he wants? He must want them very badly."

"From what I saw of his thoughts," my father was adding, "Aro's never wanted anything more than he wants Alice."

"Is that why Alice left?" Mama asked. Another reason, I thought. Not the only one. Certainly better for her to be far from here.

"I think it must be," Edward concurred. "To keep Aro from gaining the thing he wants most of all. To keep her power out of his hands."

"Alice has gone?" Tanya mumbled.

"Why would she go? Is it hopeless?" Kate wondered.

I listened to Mama. "He wants you too," she whispered.

"Not nearly as much," he tried to seem unworried. "I can't really give him anything more than he already has. And of course that's dependent on his finding a way to force me to do his will. He knows me, and he knows how unlikely that is." _Foolish, foolish father. _I thought of myself on an unseen lap looking at my parents in black robes. It would easy to make them follow orders.

"He also knows your weaknesses," Eleazar voiced my thought.

"It's nothing we need to discuss now," Edward said quickly.

Then Eleazar voiced my largest concern, one I was sure hadn't occurred to Mama and one I didn't want to occur to her. "He probably wants your mate too, regardless. He must have been intrigued by a talent that could defy him in its human incarnation."

It was strange to hear all my own thoughts voiced aloud by these older, wiser men and women. My father was doing it again now. "I think the Volturi were waiting for this."

"If the Volturi are abusing the trust all immortals have placed in them... " Carmen murmured in my ear.

"Does it matter?" Eleazar asked. "Who would believe it? And even if others could be convinced that the Volturi are exploiting their power, how would it make any difference? No one can stand against them." He was right, but 26 vampires were a start. Word would spread. This was our weapon. I thought on that and felt despair again, our only weapon was gossip?

"...some of us are apparently insane enough to try," Kate was muttering. No fighting!

Father agreed with me, "You are only here to witness, Kate. Whatever Aro's goal, I don't think he's ready to tarnish the Volturi reputation for it. If we can take away his argument against us, he'll be forced to leave us in peace." I prayed he was right.

Mama was the one to break the silence, "Oh crap, Charlie." Grandpa? No, not here, not now. It wasn't safe.

My father calmed us both and startled us at the same time. "It's not your father. Alice sent Peter and Charlotte after all. Time for the next round."

The introduction to Peter and Charlotte went smoothly. They were too new to have experienced the immortal children. When Edward finished his introduction I was presented once more. They did not see an immortal child at all. They heard my heart and smelled my blood immediately. They let me show them my life and were accepting. They weren't as attached to me as the Denali vampires, but I was fairly sure they would stand with my family.

I spent the rest of that day with Jacob while Mama and my father entertained their guests. Carmen came running with us for a while and she and I found a mountain lion in the mountains to the north. I watched her take down the creature with a grace that bested even my Jacob's. When I stripped some of the meat from the animal, she seemed surprised. "You eat? You don't only drink?"

Rather than try to explain, I showed her the filling feeling the meat gave me. It was better when I got the blood too, but I hadn't had Mountain Lion often. It was very good. We passed Seth, Embry and Quil on the way back to the house. They were headed west. I guessed Jacob had sent them to Sam. Only he would have to endure being so close to so many vampires. I felt for him and hugged him more tightly.

The next day I met three of Carlisle's old friends. Siobhan, Liam and Maggie. They listened to Edward's tale. He had moved to delivering it straight up. "An unprecedented event has occurred." He told them. "My mate, before joining us in immortality, bore me a child! She is a unique individual, neither vampire nor human but something of both. She has a heartbeat and sleeps, but her mind is nearly as multi-faceted as our own, and she grows, quickly. May I introduce you to her?" This time I was in the room, hanging on Mama's back, peering through her hair over her shoulder.

I saw the two larger, older seeming, vampires look to the younger red-headed one. She answered them, "It sounds impossible, but it is true."

Siobhan looked to Edward then, "Well I would love to meet this unique one. What have you named her?" Her smile was warm and inviting; I had no trouble dropping from Mama's back to run forward and take my father's hand.

"Hello," I said. "My name is Renesmee." They all looked at me with wide eyes but none backed away, none seemed alarmed, just surprised.

"How old is she?" Liam asked.

I answered for myself, "I am 13 weeks old."

"Remarkable," Maggie murmured.

I smiled again at them and then ran to Carmen at the back of the room. She'd waved me over with a book of Spanish she'd been reading to me. It would be my second language, but not my last.

No one seemed to object to Jacob staying close by my side. I was glad for that. With so many strangers, and so little family, it was comforting to know Jacob was always close by. Carmen in particular seemed to invite him into our little circle. I had shown her several times how important he was to me. When my parents took me to the cottage for the night, Jacob often slept in my room on the floor, four-legged and ready to defend me at need. This allowed them to return to the house and the guests as necessary. I was sad they didn't get as much time alone anymore.

The next group to meet were Egyptians. They were four not three! That brought my count to 27. They looked very different from the others I had met so far. Dark skin that was pale. It was very odd to see. And they were not friendly at all at first. They didn't question Edward's facts, but their leader, Amun, seemed frightened of me. He kept himself and his mate, Kebi, far from me. I was disappointed, making these people like me was my only role here.

Benjamin and Tia made up for it though. Benjamin in particular was very friendly. I wondered if he was a young vampire. His moods seemed to roam very quickly and I wished Jasper was home to temper them. He liked me though. And so did Tia. They enjoyed seeing my life through my eyes, and often asked me questions, or to replay certain events for them. Benjamin seemed very interested in Alice and Jasper. Perhaps because they were gifted too. Tia liked my music. I offered to play for her and sat to the piano. I was much less capable on this instrument due to my small hands and reach, but Edward soon extracted himself from a conversation with Peter to take the lower half of the keys. I rested my head on his arm as we played together.

Benjamin was able to impress upon Amun that he would stay with us, and that meant Amun would stay. He would not have his coven broken over me. I didn't like Amun, actually. He had a secret, and he was very single-minded in his efforts to keep it. It didn't make him a very nice person. It upset me most that he prevented me from communicating with Kebi. From what Tia told me, she was a lovely woman and we might have been friends, if Amun hadn't stood in her way.

The nomads trickled in as well. Garrett was a gentleman. He listened to Edward and then lifted me to let me tell him my story. He was one of the few who didn't flinch at first. He reminded me of Jacob in some ways. It was his attitude. He was ready to face down anything. He had wonderful stories that I listened to from Carmen's lap while he chatted with Kate and Tanya.

I think he was sweet on Kate. I once saw him lean toward her hair when her head was turned. From the look in his eyes, he liked the way she smelled. I showed this to Carmen and she laughed at me. "A matchmaker, are you? Well maybe my family will grow again yet."

Mary came with Randall, but they weren't mates. Just fellow travelers. They heard Edward out and then met me. Randall greeted me first, kneeling to let me touch his chin. He shivered once and murmured, "Amazing." He picked me up, as I'd asked him to, so I could show Mary my story as well. She backed away before my hand touched her.

"It doesn't hurt, Mary," Randall assured her. "It's just a little startling at first."

She stepped back toward me and I touched my hand to her cheek. "So warm," was her only comment. "How do you hold her, Randall? Doesn't it burn?"

"No," he laughed. "Scalding, maybe, but not burning."

He held me out to her but she shook her head. "I think I'll content myself to hold your hand, Renesmee. If that's all right?" I smiled widely and she returned the same, taking my hand in hers.

Alistair arrived with Carlisle and Esme. I ran to my grandparents as soon I heard my father mention their arrival. I was on the porch before they reached the stairs. Esme ran the rest of the way and swept me in her arms. "Oh, Renesmee. We missed you."

I showed her how much I missed her too. How happy I was they were home. Then I showed her all the new people I had met. "Yes, many friends!" she exclaimed. "And I have one more for you."

I saw the dark haired vampire behind Carlisle. My grandfather rushed the stairs to hold me as well. "You lied to me, Nessie. You grew several inches." I giggled and swatted him playfully. The lone vampire still stood at the bottom of the stairs. I waved to him.

"Renesmee, this is Alistair, my old friend," Carlisle told me.

"Hello, Alistair." I greeted him. It seemed Carlisle and Esme had told him about me while they traveled.

"Umm, yes... Hello." He seemed a little out of sorts. Maybe I wasn't what he had expected? I asked Carlisle.

"He's just a little shy," Carlisle whispered to me.

"That is not it!" Alistair argued. "Now if you'll kindly show me somewhere quiet I might avoid the rest of the throng I can hear talking to one another in there..."

Well, if he wasn't shy, he was certainly anti-social, I thought. My father came out on the porch then to greet Alistair as well. Mama stood just behind him. "Ah! Alistair. I know you hate being put on the spot, but I wanted to be sure I introduced you to my wife. This is Bella."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," she said formally and I could tell she thought it anything but a pleasure.

Oddly, rather than snubbing Alistair, this seemed to please him. "Ah yes, nice to meet you too, Mrs. Cullen. Glad Edward here finally found himself a mate. Never saw the need for one myself, but with the rest of the family paired up he did sort of stand out."

What had Mama done to get him to open up like that? Be half-rude? Why would that work? Alistair was escorted to the attic. A place he rarely left. I talked Jacob into helping me up there one day to visit him. After all, it was my job to make these people like me, I had to try.

He was not happy to find me in his space. I ran back down the ladder crying as he yelled and threw books at me, calling me a nosy brat. I cried on Jacob's shoulder, but he didn't really try to console me. "Stick your hand in a badger hole..." he told me.

Rosalie and Emmett came back soon after Carlisle and Esme. It was so good to have my family home. Only Alice and Jasper were missing now. Then the last of the vampires arrived. They were by far the best, and the most welcome in my mind. They confirmed my theory regarding Alice and her objective. They came from Brazil.


	9. Chapter 9: The Seen and The Unseen

A/N - I expanded Bella's observation_ "Senna and Zafrina were more like two limbs of one organism"_ into the circle. It came in handy often toward the end of Breaking Dawn. Also, she isn't identified as a 'gifted' vampire in BD, but then why would Alice need her? I gave her a gift.

* * *

I was in the room when the Amazons arrived. I saw Carlisle greet them at the door. "Zafrina and Senna! But where's Kachiri? I've never seen you three apart." I wondered, too, but only as it affected my counting.

"Alice told us we needed to separate," the one on the right answered. "It's uncomfortable to be away from each other, but Alice assured us that you needed us here, while she very much needed Kachiri somewhere else." That was interesting. I had to find out what Kachiri's gift was, how it was helping Alice. She was obviously in South America and that reinforced my theory that she was following the trail of hybrid legends. Why was that so important right now, I wondered. Would we need some sort of proof beyond my heartbeat for the Volturi? Surely she wasn't avoiding the coming conflict. Even if I could believe that of Alice, and I couldn't really, it was impossible to think that of Jasper. There was some vital information about me that we needed, and she was going to get it. I wished her luck and safe return before turning my attention back to the long-limbed visitors in front of me.

I liked them. They had much in common with Jacob, though he would cringe and howl to hear it. They were wild, like he was. They used hides rather than cloth for coverings. Alice must despise that, but it suited them. Their eyes were red, so I knew they still hunted humans, but I got the impression they hunted animals too. I was almost sure those pelts weren't come upon by accident, they were trophies. What animals could give a vampire pause? Standing so close together, and the earlier comment about it being uncomfortable apart, made me think of the wolves too. They were a pack. Not a wolf pack obviously, but like the pack, they were parts of a whole, each autonomous but inexorably linked. It was very interesting. I was still formulating questions when Mama nudged me forward. She was reluctant; I could tell by her very gentle touch. Was she afraid of these large women? I supposed that someone meeting Jacob for the first time would be intimidated by his size too. Of course everyone was big to me, just by varying degrees.

My father came to stand beside Mama while I stepped up to the one who had spoken and waited to be lifted by her. Rather than touch just one cheek I touched opposite cheeks of both women and showed them my story together. They smiled widely at me. "What a smart child," the one on the right, Zafrina I later learned, murmured. Was their group mind a secret? Had I discovered something others hadn't? In any case, they enjoyed my pictures and then each kissed one of my cheeks before setting me down. I giggled a little at their cold lips. I'd never been kissed by two at once.

I went back to Mama and Edward. He was telling Mama about Zafrina's gift. Zafrina stood behind me; she was listening too. His eyes seemed to looking at something far away even though they were looking at Mama's face. I didn't understand.

"It's a very straightforward illusion," he was telling Mama. I looked up to Zafrina to see if I could see what she was doing.

Her eyes narrowed on Mama. "She can't see it?" she asked of no one in particular.

"Mama's special. She has a shield." I told her.

"For example," I turned my attention back to my father's explanation, "right now I would appear to be alone in the middle of a rain forest. It's so clear I might possibly believe it, except for the fact that I can still feel you in my arms."

_Wow_. I could make pictures. I could make them believable. But people could always see through them. They still knew where they were and what was going on around them. Also, she didn't have to touch my father to do this. And she'd asked if Mama could see. She could show more than one person at a time. I wouldn't have tried that with anyone who didn't have a group mind. I was so thoroughly impressed my little mouth hung open.

My father blinked and focused again on Mama's face, then smiled to Zafrina. "Impressive." Understatement!

I turned to Zafrina then. "Can I see?" I asked.

"What would you like to see?" she asked me.

"What you showed Daddy." I didn't often call Edward Dad or Daddy; he was so much more.

Zafrina didn't touch me either, but suddenly I wasn't in my beautiful home any longer. I was still surrounded by trees, but of a kind I'd never encountered before. So much life here! The flowers growing on the trees, the mushrooms on the ground, every aspect of the image was perfect. I could even smell the water dripping from the leaves. It was spectacular. I wondered, if I stepped forward, would the image move with me? But before I could try the scenery was gone.

Rather than be sad at it's leaving I looked up to Zafrina with a wide grin. "More!" I knew I should have asked and said please, but I just couldn't. She obliged me immediately, and this time I did get to walk a few steps before Mama asked to have me back. I tried not to be angry with her. After all, Zafrina and Senna would be here for two weeks at least. I'd have lots of time to talk to her and see more marvelous things.

Before long, Mama and my father were carrying me home to the cottage for the night. Once again, Jacob would stay with me. During their conversation on the way home, I determined that Mama was planning to begin her combat training after I was asleep. If I thought staying awake would keep her from it for more than one night, I'd try, but Mama was stubborn. I shot Edward a disgruntled expression. When was she going to accept that we couldn't fight our way out of this? Edward shook his head very slightly at me, and I caught his meaning immediately, never. I sighed quietly and curled up in Mama's arms.

The next morning, I woke to Jacob's nails scratching the floorboards. He looked like he was running on his side. I'd never seen him run in his sleep before. I heard soft whimpers from him and vaulted over my crib bars. I was going to chew those off soon. I landed softly beside his head and draped my small body over his ears and neck.

"It's Okay, Jacob," I whispered into the huge ear. "I'm right here. I'm fine." His great eye flew open, and he jumped to his feet. I was glad I'd wrapped my arms around his chin. I laughed aloud as my legs snapped. I lost my grip and came crashing down on his back. Still giggling, I got my balance. "Again!" I chuckled.

He coughed a laugh and dropped his back legs causing me to slide toward his tail. Then he kicked his rear up, almost like a horse, and bucked me to the ceiling. He was human when I came back down, and he caught me in his arms. I was still laughing madly. I touched his cheek to show him the thrill he'd given me. Then my laughter cut off as I remembered his troubled dream. What had it been?

"Ah you know, Nessie. Just imagining the worst." He held me tight to his bare chest, and I breathed him deeply. I tried to send an image through my hand on his chest: us together forever. I did this by imaging myself getting bigger, no response though. I sighed. I would definitely talk to Zafrina about learning to extend my talent. If what we did was at all similar, she might be able to teach me. It took me a moment to realize I heard Mama's raised voice from another room. I looked at Jacob and put a finger to my lips. He nodded and we peeked out the door.

Mama and Edward were arguing. I quickly learned that they had sparred last night, and Edward was now refusing to teach her. _Good_, I thought. Unfortunately, now she was just going to learn from others. I sighed. Their argument paused - they had heard that, figured

"Renesmee!" my mother cried, "you're awake."

"Jacob?" my father arched an eyebrow. He backed away as Mama took me and phased back to wolf. Honestly, what was the problem with being naked anyway? Clothes were pretty, not necessary. He was still naked, just hairier.

My father put his head in his hand and shook it. I stuck my tongue out at him as I'd seen Alice do. His face was mostly hidden, but I thought I saw his lips curl.

I hugged Mama, showing her Jacob's bad dream, and how that had woken me. She nodded but didn't say anything. I think she didn't want to embarrass or upset Jacob. I reached for my father, and his head came up as he took me. His smile was genuine now. I touched him and showed him Jacob with clothes on; I could be good. He laughed at me and kissed my hair. Then I showed him Zafrina and Senna; I really wanted more time with them.

"Are you ready to head back to the house, love?" he asked Mama.

"Yes. After all, I need to talk to Emmett." Her voice was sour. I frowned just like my father at her. I saw his expression in the corner of my eye and giggled. That broke Mama's momentary mood as well as Edward's.

"You also have to talk with Kate," my father reminded her, hoping to divert her to a different type of lesson. I nodded to myself; _That _would be helpful in preventing the fight that couldn't happen. If Mama could shield a number of us, not just herself, and that fact was seen by the Guard, they would not want a fight either. My father kissed my cheek, reading my thought.

Zafrina and Senna were conversing with Benjamin and Tia when we arrived. I tried not to interrupt, just sat beside one of the tall women; Senna, I thought. They were very similar, it would be easy to mix them up. I held her hand while she listened.

Then, the oddest thing happened. I heard words that didn't match lips. They were obviously the voices of Senna and Zafrina, but they were speaking a language I didn't know. It was similar to Spanish, but not quite the same. Yet despite the fact that I didn't know the words, the meanings were clear. I dropped Senna's hand like it had burned me. She smiled a little sadly and brushed a hand over my curls. I took a deep breath and deliberately took her hand again. This time it wasn't startling. Now I understood why so many people flinched away at my first pictures. It was disturbing to have things in your head that you didn't put there. Now that I was ready for it, I could listen to both the spoken words and the unspoken ones. Zafrina was fascinated by the gifts of those around us. Especially Benjamin. To be able to affect the physical world, not just the perception of it, that was very rare. Senna was less impressed. She agreed it was useful and interesting, but it didn't affect their circle, did it?

_Circle_. The circle was broken. I could feel the break. That was where Kachiri's mental voice should be. I tried to step into it, but as usual, I was too small. They gave me mental hugs for trying and welcomed me into their circle anyway. I realized that I could ask my questions of Zafrina this way instead of trying to make images for them. I told her and Senna about not being able to show Jacob my pictures while touching his chest, showed them my desire to be able to pass images simply through hands. I imagined being able to touch people through gloves and sleeves, or even without touching them like Zafrina did. They listened carefully while still conversing with the Egyptians. Now they were talking about the sand and desert. Something the Amazons had no experience with. They'd passed through deserts, but never spent any amount of time in one. I doubted they ever would; they loved their forests too much. And after seeing them myself, I could understand why.

Not long after I'd taken Senna's hand, Zafrina excused herself and her sister. She accompanied me to the shore of the river. I walked between them, holding each of them by the hand. Jacob followed behind. One of them thought of him as a faithful hound. I tried to explain just how tightly bound Jacob and I were. How it went far beyond the loyalty of a hound for his master, but was more similar to some of the other forms of love I had seen. I led often, but Jacob could lead. He helped me and gave me almost anything I wanted, but attempted to shield me from things I might want but shouldn't have. He was my best friend, my partner. We couldn't be a circle with only two, but we were halves of a whole. They understood.

Zafrina began to share her power with me. She showed me more pictures: a small village with huts made of branches and fronds from the bountiful trees, animals of all kinds, which through Senna's power, I knew by name. It wasn't as overwhelming, seeing Zafrina's pictures while holding Senna's hand. While I could see nothing but what she showed, I could sense that it wasn't real through her and Senna's thoughts, because they were beside me and didn't see the same. I dropped Senna's hand from time to time to enjoy the images without the distraction. That often brought a laugh from my new friends.

Zafrina showed me the part of her head where she held her images. I couldn't _see_ it, but through our linked minds, I could feel it. I looked for my own and found it in nearly the same place in my own brain. Then she created an image for Senna to see, and I could feel how she shone herself through that part. She made it brighter, and I heard Jacob huff. She quickly turned that internal light off.

I comforted Jacob right away. "She was showing me, Jacob. Don't be angry." He wasn't. He licked my face, and I giggled. I touched Zafrina's hand, not taking Senna's again yet, and tried to shine my light brighter. Could I show her how it felt to have Jacob kiss me like that?

Her face scrunched. "That is disgusting," she muttered dropping my hand to rub her cheek. I clapped my hands and Jacob barked a laugh. I took Senna's hand again now as I watched what was happening in the rest of the yard. Eleazar, Carmen and Tanya were sitting on the back steps watching Kate, Edward and Mama. Mama had her hands around his waist and Kate was touching his arm.

_She's getting it_, I heard in Zafrina's voice. _From what they tell me, he should be dropping to the ground, but he doesn't. Her shield is fighting her though. She doesn't understand its nature._

Senna, with a gift so different from these, wasn't entirely interested in the scene. I showed her my image of Mama shielding some of us so we were aware while the rest fell under Alec's spell; she became interested again. We walked along, sharing images. Thinking of Mama's shield and how we might help her control it better.

One day, we crossed the river to quiet meadow, and I got to meet Kachiri through their thoughts. I sat facing Senna, holding her hand in my left while my right ran through Jacob's fur, he was napping between us. Zafrina sat behind me, braiding my hair like theirs.

Kachiri was a type of translator. Her gift fell between Senna's and Zafrina's. She linked minds with the one she touched, like Senna, and then broadcast their spoken words like Zafrina did her images. The words would seem to be heard, but would be in the language most familiar to the listener. It was very strange, and I was glad I didn't have to explain to anyone, neither pictures nor words really made it make sense. Eleazar had said that no two minds think in exactly the same way, and I was starting to think that no one I knew thought quite like these women. It made their gifts strange and more powerful. Senna had formed the circle with Kachiri and Zafrina. They no longer needed to touch to hear each others' thoughts, but she could include others, like me, if she wished. She shouldn't need to touch me, but it helped. She thought my mind was strange, too, and that this might be the impediment. I wondered at that. Was I strange because I was me or because I was raised by ones who thought in a certain way. She agreed with the latter as she would have needed contact to bring any of my family into the circle as well.

When I returned, Rosalie was not impressed with my new hairstyle. I only got to keep my braids a few hours before she recruited Carmen and Tanya to help her take them all out. Pouting the whole time, my braids were unwound with vampire speed.

I spent most of my time with the Amazons that week, but I tried to remember to take time to visit Carmen and the others too. Carmen missed me. "So many people to divide your attention, _mi querida_. Do you still have time for me?" I jumped into her arms and hugged her. I kissed her cheek and showed her that I was just playing with a new toy, I still loved laughed.

I turned in her lap to see what else was happening in the yard. Mama was still practicing her combat skills; I frowned at that. Edward and Jacob came to sit on either side of Carmen and I. Mama was working with Garrett now, and I watched as he threw her through the air into a tree on the other side of the river. The tree snapped in two, and Mama landed on her feet. "Right. So how do I avoid that?" she asked. I held my father's hand, feeling his anxiety in watching her fight, even when it wasn't for her life. I showed him that she had landed on her feet. I showed him the two of them practicing with Kate, making it clear which exercise I thought more worthy.

He stared at my tiny hand wrapped around his first two fingers. "How?"

"I'm learning too," I told him with a bright smile, and he smiled back.

"Do you ever stop?" he asked rhetorically, and I laughed. Carmen laughed with me.

"But what are you learning?" she asked, and I showed her Mama without moving to touch her face. "Such a brilliant child. You learn to extend too. And faster than your Mama. Let's not tell her; it might hurt her pride."

Jacob laughed at that one. "Or make her stubborn enough to work harder." He winced as another tree fell casualty to Mama's training.

I loved spending time with all my new friends and would tell Jacob and Mama stories on our way back to the cottage at night. Mama wanted to see what Zafrina showed me. I think she worried Zafrina was showing me things I shouldn't see. She didn't, but as my lessons continued, the pictures became less. I tried one day to do what Zafrina does and _make _an image. It was something she hadn't shown me, but something I hadn't seen either. I showed her a city, like I'd seen on the television. She just nodded at this image. I'd done it! She hadn't known the difference. But, did that mean I could _lie_ with my pictures? That seemed wrong. More wrong than acting asleep or even saying a lie out loud. People trusted me in their heads. I couldn't deceive them. I didn't tell Mama about the false image, but I never showed her another one either.

Jacob often humphed in human form, complaining about the number of vampires in the house. He never really got to know any of them. He recognized the Amazons as a pair and Carmen, but the others were just 'bloodsucker' to him. I could understand. His purpose was to protect people, but he was letting these monsters, though it was hard to thinking of them that way, carry on in his sight; it was contrary to his being.

When Mama tucked me in one night, I only pretended to be asleep. I watched Jacob curl up on the floor before climbing over my crib; I would get around to those bars one day. I laid down amidst his paws. "Thank you, Jacob," I told him aloud. "Thank you for staying with me."

He huffed in my hair. I touched his muzzle. This was what Zafrina and I had been working on last, projecting through clothing; I should be able to reach through his fur now. I showed him his anxiety, his unease at the house. I showed him I knew that this was very hard for him. "Thank you," I repeated aloud.

He stood, moving far enough to phase, and knelt next to me. "It's no burden, Nessie. When did you learn to show me pictures when I'm a wolf?" he asked.

I touched his knee and showed him me touching Senna through her fur jacket. "Ah. Well, try not to do it too much. You scared the crap out of Embry." He laughed. "Thought vampires were about to jump out of the trees and wondered how he hadn't smelled them." He laughed again.

I laughed, too, and climbed into his lap. He carried me to my crib, but I didn't let go. I asked if I could sleep with him tonight.

He made a rumbling in his throat. "Your Dad is gonna kill me, but OK." He set me on the floor to phase back. Before he did he reminded me, "No pictures." I made an X over my heart. He curled up again and I folded myself between his forelimbs.

I felt cold hands sliding me out from under Jacob's chin. The sunlight felt warm on my skin, and I blinked wearily into my father's face. His hands sparkled in the light. It faded as he stood in the shadows. Then he deliberately stepped on Jacob's tail, who yelped and jumped. I turned and punched Edward hard just under the collarbone, it hurt my hand. In the contact I showed him that I'd asked Jacob and what he'd done was _not _nice.

He growled loudly. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, Jacob," he said through clenched teeth.

"Nah, didn't hurt. Sorry. I know you and Bella don't like when I do that." I heard cloth rustling behind me and knew he was getting dressed. I never took my angry eyes from my father's face.

He sighed. "Let's get going," he said and passed me to Mama as soon as we caught up to her outside. I showed her what he'd done and she just said, "Good." Now, I growled.

That was the day I helped Mama learn her shield. She continued to work with Kate to try to protect Edward. She'd asked for Zafrina's help, but Kate thought she needed higher stakes. I was walking with Senna and Zafrina, asking them about this. _Some find clarity in need_, Zafrina tried to explain. _The desperate desire for something allows them to grasp it more easily, more fully. Seeing Edward in pain makes your mother try harder._

But I hadn't needed anything so potent to learn my extension.

_You have a greater drive to learn than your mother. Also, your clarity comes in stillness. You think differently from her. She reacts, you contemplate._

That made sense. It also explained her ridiculous need to learn combat skills that could not be useful. Zafrina laughed at that. I looked toward where Mama was working and tried to imagine her shield as a physical thing. Something that she pulled over my father. It was difficult. Maybe the nature of her shield also made it difficult for her to learn. It was something instinctive, she'd never really thought to do it, whereas my talent was always linked to my conscious thought. Mama told me once that she listened to my dreams, but I never really believed her. With Mama it had even taken a very slight push to reach her. This thought hit me like a baseball to the gut. That was her shield. I tried to remember what I had done that first time, but it was long ago, and I hadn't had to do it again. I wasn't sure if I had punched through or pushed around. I took new interest in her current session just as Kate was calling for me.

"Nessie," she called, "would you like to come help your mother?"

I skipped to Mama intent on being the latest target for pain. Mama would work extra hard to protect me. Edward caught my eye. This was a trick! Kate wasn't going to hurt me. Edward was going to tell them when she shielded my thoughts from him. I almost giggled.

"No," Mama snarled. She hadn't caught on, good. This might work then. "Absolutely not," she continued to object.

I jumped into her arms, "But Mama, I want to help." I showed her how I was going to help her learn.

"No," she repeated and started backing away from Kate. I scrambled to her back holding onto her neck. "Stay away from us, Kate," she warned. I smiled to my friends who were watching.

"No," Kate replied stalking forward, her eyes merry on mine.

I knew I couldn't possibly feel it, but I thought I felt a darkness wrap me, like a blanket. Kate continued to stalk us. Mama growled at her, baring teeth.

"Be careful, Kate," my father warned her now. My mother's rage was at it's peak, if she was going to find the nature of her shield it would be now.

Kate seemed to realize this, too, and stopped, turning her back on us. For a fraction of a second I thought Mama was going to lunge at her. "Can you hear anything from Nessie?" she asked Edward.

"No, nothing at all. Now give Bella some space to calm down, Kate. You shouldn't goad her like that. I know she doesn't seem her age, but she's only a few months old." I understood his logic but couldn't agree with it. It was a small risk to Kate, but very important that Mama stay angry enough to learn her shield.

"We don't have time to do this gently, Edward," Kate agreed with me. "We're going to have to push her. We only have a few weeks, and she's got the potential to..."

"Back off for a minute, Kate," he insisted moving closer to Mama, doubtless to comfort her. I didn't really want him to.

Hoping to lie somewhere in between, I replayed the scene for Mama: Kate never really came closer, her merry eyes, Edward also watching or listening to me. Maybe knowing she'd been duped would keep her angry while easing her kill instinct.

It seemed to. She put her hand on my father's back and called Kate to try Edward again. I watched Kate's brow furrow as she increased the intensity of her attacks, but none of them reached my father who was safe with me under Mama's shield. _Isn't this great?_ I thought to him.

Now my friend stepped up to add her instruction. "Can you see this?" Zafrina asked.

"I don't see anything I shouldn't," Edward answered her.

"And you, Renesmee?" she asked me. I smiled and shook my head, still hanging on Mama's back.

Mama was panting now, and I was afraid her anger and clarity were fading, but Zafrina had one more exercise for her.

"No one panic," she warned the assembled witnesses. Mama's audience had grown steadily. "I want to see how far she can extend." How many people would she be able to cover in this shield? _You can do it, Mama!_ I thought intently at her.

Gasps came from the group and everyone froze. Everyone except Senna, of course, and Edward and I, who were already safe under the shield. "Raise your hand when you get your sight back. Now, Bella, see how many you can shield."

The shield reached Kate first, and Edward began musing aloud. "Fascinating. It's like one-way glass. I can read everything they're thinking, but they can't reach me behind it. And I can hear Renesmee, though I couldn't when I was on the outside. I'll bet Kate could shock me now, because she's underneath the umbrella. I still can't hear you... hmmm How does that work? I wonder if there are layers to the shield and you've only moved one, could you separate us into different layers..." his mumbling grew harder to understand. Layers? Like separate pieces of cloth. I tried again to remember my first touch. Had I pushed through one or two. There was no way to know. I guessed that if Mama did have layers, there were only two. One she was willing to share, and one that was just for herself. Edward was nodding, but whether to his own thought or mine, I didn't know.

Mama had shielded Garrett, too, and Zafrina was congratulating her. "Very good, now..." But just then I felt a snap, and I clung to Mama to be sure I hadn't let go. I saw people burning, pieces of people, it was Alice and Jasper. Their heads hadn't been put on the pyre yet. I shivered and shook and tried to remind myself it wasn't real. It was hard without Senna and Zafrina's thoughts to confirm that. Then just as quickly the image was gone; Mama had me shielded again. I buried my eyes in her shoulder; that was awful.

"Can I have a minute?" Mama begged of Zafrina.

"Of course," she replied with a smile, and everyone seemed to relax.

While I was still trying to gauge Mama's mood, I saw Garrett approaching Kate. _He _is _sweet on her,_ I thought again. "They say you can put a vampire flat on his back." It wasn't a question, but he questioned the validity of the statement.

"Yes," she smiled. Then she wiggled her fingers, "Curious?" Wait, was she sweet on him too? I hadn't seen anything to make me think that before.

"That's something I've never seen. Seems like it might be a bit of an exaggeration." I moved from Mama's back to the curve of her arm for a better view. This would be good.

"Maybe," Kate hedged. "Maybe it only works on the weak or the young. I'm not sure. You look strong, though," she liked his strength, and she was right; his musculature was similar to Emmett's, though he didn't match him in size. "Perhaps you could withstand my gift." she teased. Then she held her hand out to him.

Garrett grinned back and touched her palm with one finger. His eyes rolled up, and he was falling backward. His head hit a rock and broke it. I laughed; Mama didn't.

"I told you," I heard my father mutter.

When his eyes opened, they were wide and focused on Kate. He smiled broadly, not upset at all. "Wow."

"Did you enjoy that?" she asked, a laugh still in her voice.

"I'm not crazy," and his laugh was full, "but that sure was something!"

"That's what I hear," she told him.

I didn't hear what had caught the others' attention, but I did notice that our crowd had thinned. Mama carried me with her into the house. It was there that I first heard what had most likely drawn the others. New visitors had arrived.

"No one sent us," the voice sounded like the pages of an old book, whispery.

"Then what brings you here now?" Carlisle asked.

"Word travels." I could just barely register that this was a second voice, it was so similar to the first. "We heard hints that Volturi were moving against you. There are whispers that you would not stand alone. Obviously, the whispers were true. This is an impressive gathering." Did that mean they were going to stand with us? It sounded like they weren't going to do that so much as stand against the Volturi. If it happened to be with us, that didn't bother them.

"We are not challenging the Volturi," my grandfather insisted. "There has been a misunderstanding, that is all." Carlisle continued to insist there would be no fight. I suddenly didn't like these newcomers; they wanted to fight too.

Regardless, my father asked Mama to bring me out to meet the Romanians. My friends hovered protectively, though I was sure these men wouldn't hurt me; they just wanted to hurt Volturi. I was surprised when I saw them. None of the other vampires assembled looked like these. Vampires can't age, but these looked old somehow. Their skin, I thought, not pale and hard, pale and thin. Still hard I was sure, but it looked brittle.

Their eyes found me now. "Well, well, Carlisle. You _have_ been naughty, haven't you?" I resented that.

"She's not what you think, Stefan."

"And we don't care," the blond of the pair repeated.

"Then, you're welcome to observe, Vladimir, but it is definitely not our pan to challenge the Volturi, as we said before."

"Then we'll just cross our fingers," the dark-haired one said.

"And hope we get lucky," the other finished.

I approached them, but they kept their hands to themselves.

"Hello," I greeted them.

"Hello," they answered without emotion.

"You look different. Why?" If they wouldn't let me ask my usual way, I could speak. I still hadn't learned how to project without touching, and Zafrina doubted I'd ever be able to. Just as she doubted my images could ever be opaque like hers. That wasn't their purpose, she reasoned.

My question wasn't exactly polite, but they answered anyway. "We sat still for a very long time, child," the blond, Vladimir, began. "Contemplating our own divinity. It was a sign of our power that everything came to us: prey, diplomats, those seeking our favor. We sat on our thrones and thought ourselves gods. We didn't notice for a long time that we were changing, almost petrifying. I suppose the Volturi did us one favor when they burned our castles. Stefan and I, at least, did not continue to petrify. Now the Volturi's eyes are filmed with dusty scum, but ours are bright." They were, but the red was almost more menacing than that of my other new friends. "I imagine that will give us an advantage when we gouge theirs from the sockets." I just nodded, showing interest. I didn't mind if they destroyed the Volturi, as long as they didn't do it whlie standing with my family; I didn't want my friends hurt.

"Thank you. It is good to meet you." I was careful not to say nice. These Romanians were anything but nice. Mama seemed happy I didn't seek them out after that.


	10. Chapter 10: Christmas

All the company made it impossible for Claire or Grandpa to come visit me, so I was thrilled when I heard Mama calling.

"Charlie, we've still got that strictly need-to-know company situation going. I know it's been more than a week since you saw Renesmee, but a visit is just not a good idea right now. How about I bring Renesmee over to see you?" I started bouncing at Mama's feet. _Grandpa, Grandpa, Grandpa_. Jacob caught my mood and came to investigate.

"This morning will be perfect," she told Grandpa as I grabbed Jacob's hand and played the first things she had said, then twirled on my toes some more. He grinned broadly and was nearly as happy as I was.

"Probably," she said, now looking right at Jacob who was nodding. "See you in a few."

I jumped into her arms. "Grandpa!" I said with glee. She smiled at me and carried me to the garage. She continued to hold me while we waited for Jacob in the Volvo.

Jacob wasn't far behind. "Why can't we take the Ferrari?" he complained. I almost laughed. While I adored racing down the highway with anyone in Mama's shiny red car, who wouldn't notice that pulling up to Grandpa's house?

"Too conspicuous," Mama agreed. "We could go on foot, but that would freak Charlie out."

Jacob pouted but sat down. I moved into his lap; it was much roomier than under the steering wheel.

"How are you?" Mama asked him once we were on the road. I kept my eyes on the trees, hoping they'd forget I was there.

"How do you think?" Jacob asked. "I'm sick of all these reeking bloodsuckers." Mama looked at him with a small frown. "Yeah, I know, I know. They're the good guys, they're here to help, they're going to save us all, et cetera, et cetera. Say what you want, I still think Dracula One and Dracula Two are creep-tacular." I couldn't argue with that. Alistair was only better than the Romanians because he was inconspicuous. And Amun... ugh.

"How long do we get to hang out with Charlie?" he asked, sounding brighter.

"For quite a while, actually."

"Is something going on here besides visiting your Dad?"

"Jake, you know how you're pretty good at controlling your thoughts around Edward?"

"Yeah?" Jacob asked, but Mama didn't say anything else. I thought about what she had said. It reminded me of the secret she wanted to keep. She was going to Seattle today. I hoped she would find what she was looking for and come back soon.

As soon as the car stopped, I jumped off Jacob's lap and up to the door Grandpa stood in. "Hey, guys! It seems like it's been years! Look at you, Nessie! Come to Grandpa." He grunted a little as I launched myself into his arms for a hug. "I swear you've grown half a foot. And you look skinny, Ness. Aren't they feeding you up there?"

"It's just a growth spurt," Mama muttered. "Hey, Sue." I turned to Sue, smiling and waving.

"Well, come on in out of the cold, kids. Where's my son-in-law?" Grandpa asked.

"Entertaining friends," Jacob answered. "You're so lucky you're out of the loop, Charlie. That's all I'm going to say."

Mama punched Jacob and he winced. "Ow."

"Actually, Charlie," Mama was saying now, "I have some errands to run."

"Behind on your Christmas shopping, Bells? You only have a few days, you know," Grandpa reminded her. I didn't know much about Christmas. I knew it was on the twenty-fifth and that it was a Christian holiday celebrating the birth of Christ. There was shopping?

"Yeah, Christmas shopping," Mama said, seizing the excuse.

"Don't worry, Nessie," Grandpa whispered. "I got you covered if your mom drops the ball." I laughed as his mustache tickled my ear.

Then Sue called us to lunch, and Mama stepped back out the door.

Lunch was fine. I didn't eat any of the chicken, but the tomato sauce on the noodles was all right. I still couldn't fathom cooking meat. I preferred raw foods for my human diet, and Sue obliged me with some uncut tomatoes and carrot sticks.

I learned a lot more about Christmas that day. I helped Grandpa put a few more ornaments on the tree and then made a popcorn string with Sue. Jacob seemed so much happier away from the house and its guests that I wasn't sad at all when Mama's trip took the whole day. We sat down to watch "A Charlie Brown Christmas" together, but I fell asleep before the end.

I woke the next day in my bed. When Mama came to wake me, she seemed more bleak than usual. Had she run into trouble in Seattle? Was Jason Jenks unable to give her what she needed? I wished I could ask her, but I wasn't supposed to know. Mama was working with Zafrina again, still learning how to use her shield. I followed her instruction with Senna. I knew this was going be helpful in the coming days.

Had Alice seen this? Did she know what Mama was capable of? I thought she must, and if she hadn't when she left, she would by now. I hoped that took some of the pressure off her, and she would be back soon. I missed her and Jasper very much. I arranged the blocks, which Esme let me bring home, in the corner of my room. They spelled out Alice's name. If she ever looked into my room, she would know I was thinking of her.

Now that I knew about Christmas, I tried to make gifts for my family members. I found some old clothes and used my teeth to tear them apart. I stole into Esme's workshop and opened her wallpaper paste. I filled the pouches of cloth with pine needles and dried flowers and glued them shut. Then I cut up pictures of myself, duplicates from my baby album, and pasted those on as well. They were definitely a little kid gift, but I hoped the thought would count.

I had another gift for the whole family; I had begun a new composition. It was still missing something, but I had another day to fill the passage. I was sure they would like it.

On Christmas morning, Mama gave me a beautiful locket. It contained a picture of her and Edward. I thanked her with a hug. Jacob came next and tied a wonderful band around my wrist. My father growled as he did so. I knew I'd have to ask Jacob more about the bracelet when we were alone. For the moment, I just examined the weave and appreciated the maze of threads. Then my father placed headphones on my ears and I heard the lullaby he'd written for Mama. He put the tiny stick in my hand. It was only just a long as my palm and I flicked through other pieces in its memory.

"I have a gift for you, too!" I told them, but knew I couldn't give them my little sachets. Instead, I asked them to take me to the house. Once there, I played my new piece for my family and new friends and received much praise.

Then Mama, Jacob and my father bundled me into the car to visit Grandpa. I hung to my father's neck as we stepped through the door. The room was so crowded I had to step over limbs to get to Grandpa. I hugged him first and kissed his bristly cheek. "Merry Christmas, Nessie!" he told me. I looked over the faces crowding the room then. Quil, Embry and Seth squished together on the couch. Sam had an arm around a woman I hadn't met. One side of her face was badly scarred. I deduced, being with Sam, that she must be Emily. Leah was in the kitchen with Sue. I had brought my awful gifts with me and thought this was the family I'd give them to.

I could tell that my parents and Jacob were enduring this day for my benefit. They would rather have been preparing for the events of the coming week, but I couldn't hold my joy back. It was wonderful to be surrounded by this love. And unlike most of the others, I had faith in Alice, believing that there was a way through this. We'd handled our end spectacularly, and Alice would hold up hers. Why were they so downcast? This was a time to party! As I'd hoped, the Quileutes were thrilled with my little favors. "Did you help her with these?" Sue asked Bella.

Mama, who had never seen the sachets before, just nodded, preferring to make me appear more normal. I grinned more widely. I'd given Sue one with extra lace. She inhaled the pine scent and smiled back. "Thank you, Nessie."

I jumped onto Quil to ask where Claire was, if she was well. "Saw her before coming here. Santa left her quite the spread. She's got a brand new dart gun that she can shoot me with. Her aim is still pretty bad, thankfully." His friends laughed at him. I sent an image of him holding up a shield, and he laughed. I was sad when it was time to go, knowing I might not get to see these friends again for a whole week, maybe longer. I hugged Grandpa and Sue tightly before returning to Mama's arms and lap for the drive home.

Even I could hear the raised voices coming from the house when we pulled up. Something was very wrong. "Alistair is gone," Edward told us. I frowned; that brought our number down again. Why would he have left? We stepped into the house and joined the ring around Carlisle, Benjamin and Amun.

We moved from the edge to the center as my father pulled us to Grandmother's side.

"Amun, if you want to go, no one is forcing you to stay," Carlisle was arguing. This argument sounded too familiar.

"You're stealing half my coven, Carlisle! Is that why you called me here? To steal from me?" Was he raving? Of course we hadn't asked them here to take Benjamin and Tia from him.

Benjamin spoke my thoughts aloud, rolling his eyes. "Yes, Carlisle picked a fight with the Volturi, endangered his whole family, just to lure me here to my death." I knew sarcasm; Benjamin was abusing it. "Be reasonable, Amun. I'm committed to doing the right thing here. I'm not joining any other coven. You can do whatever you want, of course, as Carlisle has pointed out." This _was _a repeated argument. Benjamin had told Amun that he was staying before.

"This won't end well. Alistair was the only sane one here. We should all be running." Ah, this was a new argument because Amun had new reasons to leave.

"Think of who you're calling sane," Tia retorted.

"We're all going to be slaughtered!" It was a shame Jasper wasn't here. I was sure if Amun calmed down he would see reason.

"It's not going to come to a fight," Carlisle insisted. It would _not_. I punctuated the thought.

"You say!" Amun continued to rant.

"If it does, you can always switch sides, Amun. I'm sure the Volturi will appreciate your help." I envied my grandfather his patience.

"Perhaps that _is_ the answer," Amun spat.

Carlisle didn't even sigh, just answered solemnly, "I wouldn't hold that against you, Amun. We have been friends for a long time, but I would never ask you to die for me."

"But you're taking my Benjamin down with you," Amun replied in his calmest tone yet.

Carlisle tried to console his friend, but Amun would have none of it. "I'll stay, Carlisle, but it might be to your detriment. I will join them if that's the road to survival. You're all fools to think that you can defy the Volturi." He looked at me then, and I met his eyes without smiling, showing him all the resentment he was showing me and my family. "I will witness that the child has grown. That's nothing but the truth. Anyone would see that."

"That's all we've ever asked," Carlisle reminded him.

"But not all you are getting, it seems." Now his gaze fell on Benjamin. "I gave you life. You're wasting it."

The look on Benjamin's face was wrong. It was one his happy eyes should never display. "It's a pity you couldn't replace my will with your own in the process; perhaps then you would have been satisfied with me." I couldn't imagine saying such a thing to my father. That would hurt anyone who actually cared for you very deeply.

Amun didn't answer. He motioned to Kebi and the two of them departed. "He's not leaving," Edward told us, "but he'll be keeping his distance even more from now on." I didn't feel sad to hear that. "He wasn't bluffing when he spoke of joining the Volturi." I didn't think he was. But Carlisle hadn't lied when he'd said that was the right thing to do if it protected his family. If our family could have survived by submitting to the Volturi, Carlisle wouldn't have hesitated. But Aro wanted us too badly, we wouldn't be left alone.

My father told Mama the reason Alistair left; he didn't have a family to protect, but he didn't want to turn his back on Carlisle, either. Eleazar expanded on what Edward had said. "From the sound of his mumblings, it was a bit more than that. We haven't spoken much of the Volturi agenda, but Alistair worried that no matter how decisively we can prove your innocence, the Volturi will not listen. He thinks they will find an excuse to achieve their goals here." He was right; of course they would.

Suddenly my hope, my trust in Alice's plan, waned. They would stop and then they would continue. They would find I wasn't what they thought, but then they'd find some other reason to attack. This couldn't end in a fight.

Mutters around the room showed that many did not agree with Eleazar's assessment. Surely they wouldn't manipulate the law. But they had forgotten that power corrupts. The ones who knew that best were most accepting of this outcome. The Romanians were practically rubbing their hands together.

"I think the time has come to fight," Vladimir was saying. "How can you imagine we'll ever find a better force to stand with than this? Another chance this good?" _No fighting!_ I wanted to scream at them. They were going to ruin everything.

"Nothing is impossible. Maybe someday..."

"We've been waiting for fifteen hundred years, Stefan, and they've only gotten stronger. If the Volturi win this conflict, they will leave with more power than they came with. With every conquest they add to their strengths. Think of what that newborn alone could give them, and she is barely discovering her gifts. And the earth-mover. With those witch twins they've no need of the illusionist or the fire touch." Their inventory was making me ill. Did _they _want my family, too? I wouldn't let them have us any more than I'd let Aro.

Stefan added, "Nor is the mind reader exactly necessary. But I see your point. Indeed, they will gain much if they win."

"More than we can afford to have them gain, wouldn't you agree?"

"I think I must agree. And that means..."

"That we must stand against them while there is still hope." _Only stand, please, gentlemen._

"If we can just cripple them, even, expose them..." and there was our weapon again. Gossip. Loss of face. I'd nearly forgotten it. That was how we would break the Volturi, not in a fight. Did the Romanians see that?

"So we fight," Stephan declared.

"We fight," Vladimir agreed.

_No fighting!_ I mentally shouted again. Edward looked at me. I blushed and lowered my eyes.

"We will fight, too," Tia said. I was losing my patience, but tried my hardest not to scream in Edward's head again. "We believe the Volturi will overstep their authority. We have no wish to belong to them."

"Apparently I'm a hot commodity," Benjamin's grin was broad. "It appears I have to win the right to be free."

That caught Garrett's attention. "This won't be the first time I've fought to keep myself from a king's rule." I put my head in my hand as I'd seen my father do so many times. I heard him chuckle at me.

"We have not decided." This came from Peter, although Charlotte did not seem to agree with him. Randall and Mary were not looking for a fight, either.

Jacob piped in, "The packs will fight with the Cullens. We're not afraid of vampires." I shot him a death glare. He would be the first to jump into a fight.

"Well, I'm in too," Maggie added, stepping away from Siobhan. "I know the truth is on Carlisle's side, and I can't ignore that."

Siobhan spoke to my grandfather then. "Carlisle, I don't want this to come to fight." _A sane one! I wasn't alone!_ Edward glared at me again. _Right, quiet, sorry Daddy._ He smiled.

"Nor do I, Siobhan. You know that's the last thing I want." His smile was a little impish. "Perhaps you should concentrate on keeping it peaceful."

I flashed back to a conversation long ago, when Mama had returned to me. Siobhan could will things to happen, though she didn't believe it. "You know that won't help," she said now.

"It couldn't hurt," Carlisle argued.

"Shall I visualize the outcome I desire?" I wondered if Benjamin was paying attention; that was proper sarcasm.

"If you don't mind," Carlisle said with an open grin.

"Then there is no need for my coven to declare itself, is there? Since there is no possibility of a fight." Suddenly I wanted very much for Siobhan's gift to be real. One last time that night I thought to myself, this time as a fervent whisper, _this cannot come to a fight_.


	11. Chapter 11: The Volturi

One week after her first trip to Seattle, Mama left us again. "Headed out?" my father asked her.

"Yes, a few last-minute things." Mama would never put on as straight a face as my father. I hadn't connected today's date to the one before Christmas, but I did now.

"Hurry back to me," he told her.

"Always."

He knew she was hiding something from him, just as I did. Did he know more than me or less? Should I ask him about it, or would that just expose more of Mama's secret? In the end I decided not to say, and tried not to _think_, anything more about it. Instead I played the piano with him for the evening. He was helping me flesh out my Christmas composition. When I yawned, he took his fingers from the keys. "That's enough for tonight," he told me.

I had noticed the house empty over the evening, but now saw that Kate and Garrett were the only two here. They were leaning into one another. It made me think about secrets. "Father," I asked quietly, knowing I was in need of parental guidance. Even more than my mother, I went to my father for that.

"What is it, Renesmee?"

"I have a moral question," I said, not wanting to think the whole thing out for him.

"Secrets," he murmured. "Yes, I know your mother has one, and yes I think it's important to let her keep it. She wouldn't have one if it weren't important."

I nodded. "She'll be back in the morning?"

"I'm positive."

I let him take me to bed then. As he laid me down, I sent him one more hateful thought regarding the stupid bars. He laughed, and I heard metal buckle. I sat up in shock, smiling and clapping my hands in thanks. "Grandmother will be upset you ruined it," I told him.

"She'd have been more upset if you'd chewed through the bars," he told me, ruffling my hair. "Now sleep," he ordered. "Jacob will be here soon. I'm heading back to the house to wait for your mother."

I closed my eyes obediently.

Mama was back in the morning and she, Edward and Carlisle started spending time in a clearing not far from the house. I rode to it on Jacob's back, my curls bouncing in the lightly falling snow. There were only a few days left, I knew. I wondered why they spent their time here, and Edward told me this was where they wanted to meet the Volturi. It was more spacious than our yard and further from town; I could understand thatWas Alice on her way home yet? Had she found what she needed? .

"Demetri will follow us here," he told me, and I shivered. I didn't like the idea of someone following my family, even though I knew, in this case, it was necessary. "But you don't need to stay here, Nessie. Why don't you and Jacob go hunt?"

I considered that but instead spent the day in circle with the Amazons. I'd tried to convince Senna to include Jacob, but she wouldn't hear of it. Apparently men were not allowed in circles, so I patted Jacob's shoulder and he ran off, probably to spend part of the day in La Push. He'd need to say some sort of good bye to his family, just in case this didn't end well.

Being in the circle was comforting. The Amazons hadn't been part of the ridiculous declarations that took place Christmas night, and they agreed with my assessment that a fight was to be avoided. They also agreed that the Volturi might press their advantage in trying to take my family. They left it at that. Being in their heads, I didn't need assurances that they would stand with me through what came. I stood for a moment in Kachiri's spot again, thinking of Alice. _I think she's coming back, _I told the other two. _I think Kachiri and Alice and Jasper will be here in time_.

_I hope you are right, little one,_ Zafrina thought. _We will be glad to have Kachiri back with us, and you are most likely correct that Alice beings something we need._

_Alice was searching the entire time we were with her. Though it was only a few minutes, she never stopped scrying for whatever it is she needs._

I accepted their reassuring thoughts and tried to bolster their hope with some of my own.

The night after that, I slept in a tent. I was excited, and not just because sleeping in a tent was new; Jacob was staying with us. Mama and Edward sat on one side of the tent while I put my head on Jacob's outstretched arm and fell asleep to his deep breathing.

I must have tossed and turned in the night because when I woke I was splayed across Jacob's chest. I noticed I had drooled a little on him and quickly wiped it with the sleeve of my night dress. He must have felt that because he laughed at me. "Good morning, princess," he said. "And no Dad stepping on my tail!" I laughed at that.

No Dad, but Mama came in to dress me. The clothes were pretty but heavily woven. They would withstand wear like the ones Rosalie and Esme had worn when they left. Was I traveling somewhere? She put a small leather pack on my back. What was in it? Nothing much, I couldn't feel any shapes through the leather and it didn't weigh anything. Pain and grief filled Mama's eyes. I _was _going to be traveling, and everything I would need was in this pack. It must have contained money, because there certainly weren't many clothes in there.

"I love you," she told me. "More than anything."

I felt for my locket, saying, "I love you too, Mama. We'll always be together." I didn't make it a question, but it was.

"In our hearts we'll always be together," she answered. I wanted to cry. "But when the time comes today, you have to leave me."

I showed her how much I didn't want to do that.

"Will you do it for me? Please?"

_Why?_ I asked in my silent way.

"I can't tell you, but you'll understand soon, I promise." This was her secret. I didn't know how much longer I could wait to hear it. Then another thought: she was leaving me, was Jacob?

"Don't think of it," she warned me. "Don't tell Jacob until I tell you to run, okay?" We were going to run. If it came to a fight Mama wanted me and Jacob to run. It hurt to think of leaving my family behind, but I wouldn't be able help them. I would go with Jacob and nodded my acceptance.

I watched her pull Aro's necklace from her pocket and fasten it around her neck. "Pretty," I murmured, remembering the subtle weave to the gold cord. I hugged Mama tight and let her carry me into the unknown.

It was better than I'd imagined it, the carpet of white. It looked like clouds were sitting on the branches of the trees. The snow made everything clean, pure. The beautiful, even surface was broken where our witnesses had gathered, and I thought of how the snow would be trampled today. I hoped it would only be the snow.

We took our place near the front of the assembly, and I moved to Mama's back, giving her use of her hands. Jacob came to stand beside me and I reached for him to share my fear and lend him reassurance, the little I had. We were going to be okay. I tried not to focus too much on the _we_ in case my father was listening. Even as I reached to my partner, I watched my mother and father reach for each other; Edward stood next to Carlisle just ahead of us. I followed Edward's eyes to the north and put my head a little lower on my mother's shoulder, almost hiding. They were coming.

Even with my sharper than human eyes, the mass of cloaks all seemed black. The barest trace of a hue difference could be made between the lesser guard on the outside and ancients in the center. They moved as one, a practiced chorus.

"The red coats are coming," I heard Garrett mutter, but I didn't understand; the Volturi wore black.

"It is well we didn't try Volterra," one of the Romanians whispered. I was glad they hadn't either; they could do me more good here, as long as they didn't start the fight.

Then came something I didn't expect to see. More vampires, not in black cloaks. Who were they? Why were they here? No one seemed prepared to answer me. They must have grasped their purpose even when I didn't. I felt ashamed at my ignorance.

"Alistair was right," my father murmured to Carlisle.

"Alistair was right?" Tanya questioned.

"They, Caius and Aro, come to destroy, to acquire. They have many layers of strategy already in place. If Irina's accusation had somehow proven to be false, they were committed to find another reason to take offense." And they would find another reason when we proved I wasn't what they thought. "But they can see Renesmee now," I flinched and ducked a little further behind Mama, "so they are perfectly sanguine about their course. We could still attempt to defend against their contrived charges, but first they have to stop, to hear the truth about Renesmee," his voice dropped, "which they have no intention of doing."

Jacob huffed and whimpered a little. We couldn't win a fight. They had to stop. Jacob tossed his head under my hand, and I looked at him. He was grinning at me, his tongue lolling.

Then I saw why. The Volturi had stopped. They had stopped because Sam had come with his pack. His pack had grown, I saw. Younger wolves than Collin and Brady stood in their number now. I wondered which mothers were risking their sons for my sake, and thanked them.

I felt as much as heard Mama snarl. She was angry that new wolves had come to us. Senna and Zafrina growled with her.

The Volturi stopped and judged us. They did not find what they had come for. I was sure that if Alice had stood with us right now, they would not have stopped. What were they planning now?

"Edward?" Carlisle asked.

"They're not sure how to proceed. They're weighing options, choosing key targets. Me, of course, you, Eleazar, Tanya. Marcus is reading the strength of our ties to each other, looking for weak points. The Romanians' presence irritates them. They're worried about the faces they don't recognize, Zafrina and Senna in particular, and the wolves, naturally. They've never been outnumbered before. That's what stopped them."

"Outnumbered?" Tanya whispered my question.

"They don't count their witnesses." Their witnesses. I'd known our need for these to make them stop. What need would they have to justify themselves? But, of course, I knew the answer. They were arrogant. They wanted people to see their victory, to know we were destroyed by their righteous might. They made me sick.

"Should I speak?" Carlisle asked.

"This is the only chance you'll get," Edward told him.

My grandfather greeted his one-time friend and mentor. "Aro, my old friend, it's been centuries."

Seconds passed with no reply. Were they going to attack anyway? This couldn't come to a fight!

Eventually one of the dead black cloaks from the center moved forward – Aro. His retinue objected, but he stilled them. Renata would be the one behind him. From this distance I couldn't see his eyes clearly, but they did seem milky, almost pink instead of red. "Fair words, Carlisle. They seem out of place, considering the army you've assembled to kill me, and to kill my dear ones." _His dear ones._ How many would stay dear if they knew how they were used? A large number, I was sure, but not all.

"You have but to touch my hand," my grandfather stretched out his right arm in a gesture of openness, "to know that was never my intent."

"But how can your intent possibly matter, dear Carlisle, in the face of what you have done?" Aro frowned and seemed almost sad. Was he still a friend of my grandfather? That seemed impossible if he came here to steal members from his family.

"I have not committed the crime you are here to punish me for," Carlisle assured him.

"Then step aside and let us punish those responsible. Truly, Carlisle, nothing would please me more than to preserve your life today." There was no protest from Maggie; what he said was true. He would steal from a friend, but didn't want to kill one. _How noble_, I thought sarcastically.

"No one has broken the law, Aro. Let me explain." He turned his hand to offer it again.

Now another of the ancients came to Aro's side. I also recognized Caius from the painting in Carlisle's office. "So many pointless rules, so many unnecessary laws you create for yourself, Carlisle. How is it possible that you defend the breaking of one that truly matters?"

"The law is not broken," Carlisle insisted. "If you would listen..."

"We see the child, Carlisle," Caius continued. "Do not treat us as fools."

"She is not an immortal," my grandfather explained. "She is not a vampire. I can easily prove this with just a few moments..."

He was cut off again. "If she is not one of the forbidden then why have you massed a battalion to protect her?"

It was the first time this thought had occurred to me. I had thought of our friends as being here to protect my family, but that wasn't strictly true. They had come for my family, but most of them stayed for me. That was why my part had been so important. I had to make them see that I was worth protecting. I took a deep breath, mentally thanking each and every one of them. Even Amun, who was clearly here for Benjamin, not me.

"Witnesses, Caius, just as you have brought. Any one of these friends can tell you the truth about the child. Or you could just look at her, Caius. See the flush of human blood in her cheeks."

Another thought: I was going to have to touch these ancients. The very idea disgusted me, but I knew I could do it to protect my family. I growled quietly into Mama's shoulder, dreading the coming task.

Caius had called forth Irina now. I watched as he slapped her, and in that moment, I hated him more than ever. I couldn't blame Kate and Tanya for their hisses. Then he pointed at me, and I growled with Jacob. "This is the child you saw? The one that was obviously more than human?"

Irina hadn't really looked at me before, and she focused on me now, confusion crossing her face, "I... I'm not sure."

"What do you mean?" Caius hissed at her.

"She's not the same, but I think it's the same child. What I mean is, she's changed. This child is bigger than the one I saw, but..."

Caius made a sound that stopped Irina's words. Aro put a hand on Caius's shoulder. "Be composed, brother. We have time to sort this out. No need to be hasty. Now, sweetling, show me what you're trying to say," Aro crooned to Irina, holding out his hand. The sweet tone irritated me.

I felt Senna reach around Zafrina to cover my hand. _Don't let anger cloud you, Nessie. Your strength is in cool logic. Remember that._ I smiled at Zafrina, knowing Senna would see it too.

After a moment Aro began again. "And so we have a mystery on our hands. It would appear the child has grown, yet Irina's first memory was clearly that of an immortal child." I tried to remember what I had done that day that would have given me away so clearly. It was long ago, and at the time, unimportant. The gravity of the day came moments later when Mama caught up to Jacob and me. What had we been doing? What had I learned? That was the key question. I had seen snow. It was the first time, but the flakes were melting before I could reach them. I had jumped to catch one. If not for that, she might have thought me a human child. I wanted to weep again. This was all my fault.

I hadn't been listening closely as Carlisle argued with Aro, but now my father was kissing Mama and me. Aro wanted access to his mind for the answers to his questions. Aro would hear my songs, he'd see my pictures, he'd hear me shouting in my father's head. But he wouldn't hear one thing, a thing I didn't even think of now, and instead threw one final thought to Edward. _I love you, Daddy. _

I felt Mama tense watching my father walk away from us. And then I felt something I had been sure I imagined the first time. A dark blanket seemed to cover me. I turned my head to look at Mama. She laughed. Now I wasn't alone in looking at her. Had she shielded more than just me? Then Mama focused on Edward, so far away now. Had she shielded him? She had never extended that far before. Then I thought about how angry I'd been moments ago. Her shield was even more cooperative than ever.

Senna placed her hand on mine again and I felt calmer in their minds. It was easier when I could divide the fear. _Is it true? Has she spread the shield?_

I told them I wasn't sure, but I thought she'd reached Edward.

_She'll have to pull back if he is to converse with Aro._ I thought of how hard that would be for Mama, how painful. But then I remembered that I was willing to touch them and so was Daddy. Mama would just have to bear it like the rest of us.

Just then Mama hissed and Zafrina attempted to calm her. "Easy, Bella." _Her rage must be peaked to extend so far. She is still young and quick to snap. We must keep her on the edge, but this side of it._ I mentally nodded in agreement, showing them a plan to use my presence to calm her as I had before. She could clutch me if she needed that to help contain the rage.

I noticed a small movement on the field and was glad I had contact with the Amazons and their sharper senses. I wouldn't have heard Edward's quiet words otherwise. "You see?"

"Yes, I see, indeed. I doubt whether any two among gods or mortals have ever seen quite so clearly." Aro would never see clearly, I was certain. Just as his eyes were filmed, everything he saw was veiled by his own selfish desires. My friends agreed with my assessment.

Now came the moment I dreaded. "May I meet her?" I remembered showing Mama a false image and shared this information with the circle. They considered it a moment with me, but there were few false images worth showing Aro. Still... if I didn't take his hand, he'd be listening to me, not taking everything from my head. I would avoid that if I could. I did not want him to learn of this circle or what I knew of Mama's secret. The circle clamped down on that thought, flooding it with forest green. _We will keep your secret,_ they told me.

Aro and Caius had just finished a spat about my heritage. "Will you introduce me to your daughter?" Aro was asking again. I swallowed bile. I felt reassurance through the circle and reciprocation of my distaste. They thought this was disgusting, too. Zafrina imagined it worse than being kissed by Jacob. I almost laughed.

"I think a compromise on this one point is certainly acceptable, under the circumstance." Where had that come from? "We'll meet in the middle." I noticed when Aro let go of my father's hand. Would their conversation have been anything like what I shared now in the circle?

_No_, was emphatic from all three of us. _Similar certainly, but we share what they take. Even your father, though he tries to be discreet, takes what one does not give. In the circle we are equal. _They were right.

_That is how they were conversing though..._ I amended. They affirmed my assessment.

Now my father was suggesting Aro bring some of the guard to the center of the clearing, where I would have to grit my teeth and touch this monster. I should decide what I would show him. Himself? It seemed too easy for him to miss the obvious point.

_Yourself. Not your birth. Your love, the love others give willingly. That will sting. _I thought they were right.

"Felix, Demetri," Aro called. His lackeys came forward. I gave the Amazons one last mental hug and slipped my hand from under Senna's. I let go of Jacob and swung around to sit in the curve of Mama's arm. I could do this, I told myself. I wasn't given a lot to do; I could do this.

"Bella," my father called us, "Bring Renesmee... and a few friends."

"Jacob. Emmett," Mama asked them to accompany us. The other side was not happy to see Jacob coming with us. I couldn't thank Mama enough for bringing Jacob, though I'd rather have someone other than Emmett for a second. If anyone was likely to start the fight, it was him.

"Interesting company you keep," the smaller of the thugs mentioned to Edward. If the larger were Felix, this would be Demetri.

The larger one leered at my mother. "Hello again, Bella." _Calm_, I reminded myself, _I'm stronger calm._

"Hey, Felix," Mama smiled at him. Why would she smile at him?

He chuckled. "You look good. Immortality suits you." _So does motherhood, you big lug_, I thought at him. I had learned a little of physical relationships... Then I apologized to Edward for shouting.

"Thanks so much." Sarcasm dripped from her tongue. She didn't really like him.

"You're welcome... It's too bad..." I growled a little at his implication.

"Yes, too bad, isn't it?" Mama murmured in reply.

Aro was focused on me, not their banter. "I hear her strange heart. I smell her strange scent. In truth, young Bella, immortality does become you most extraordinarily." Hearing him compliment my mother was worse than Felix; Aro wanted to possess her. "It is as if you were designed for this life."

Mama only nodded.

"You liked my gift?" he asked now.

"It's beautiful, and very, very generous of you. Thank you. I probably should have sent a note."

Aro laughed. "It's just a little something I had lying around. I thought it might complement your new face, and so it does."

Once more, Aro asked for me, and I closed my eyes in dread. "May I greet your daughter, lovely Bella?" I felt Mama's shield leave me. She'd had to do it again, once to expose Edward and now again for me. She got the worst deal.

Aro looked at us, and though I was filled with hate, I tried to smile, or at least not grimace.

"But she's exquisite. So like you, Edward. Hello, Renesmee."

"Hello, Aro." It wasn't friendly, but I didn't think it was too cold, either.

"What is it?" Caius hissed. I was insulted; I was not an 'it'.

"Half mortal, half immortal," Aro answered. Sadly, he didn't take his eyes off me, so I had to maintain my act. "Conceived so and carried by this newborn while she was still human."

"Impossible," Caius rebuffed.

"Do you think they've fooled me, then, brother? Is the heartbeat you hear trickery as well?"

Caius scowled at his brother and at me.

"Calmly and carefully, brother." He was crooning to me even though he wasn't speaking to me. I hated when people did that. "I know how well you love your justice, but there is no justice in acting against this unique little one for her parentage. And so much to learn, so much to learn!" So there was one other thing I had in common with Aro. I tried not to be disgusted by the fact. "I know you don't have my enthusiasm for collecting histories, but be tolerant with me, brother, as I add a chapter that stuns me with its improbability. We came expecting only justice and the sadness of false friends, but look what we have gained instead! A new bright knowledge of ourselves, our possibilities." I had known Aro would want me, too, but I was still hoping he wouldn't find me interesting.

He held out his hand to me, but I knew better than that. I stretched to reach his forehead instead. He was used to seeing what lies in other people's minds so my images did not startle him. I stuck with the circle's plan. I showed him me. I showed him my love for my family, our love for one another. Together we were strong. Our love was stronger than his. Would he accept that and let us go?

"Brilliant," he whispered.

I leaned back into Mama and felt her shield cover me again. "Please?" It galled me to ask anything of this monster.

"Of course I have no desire to harm your loved ones, precious Renesmee." The lies fell so easily from his tongue. My eyes stayed narrow on his; my father growled and Maggie hissed. They knew he lied, too. But he didn't know all I knew, and unless he grabbed me, he wouldn't.

"I wonder," he mused now. He was eying Jacob. MY Jacob. I had put him in with the family I loved so much. Right at the top with Mama and Edward.

"It doesn't work that way," Edward told him.

"Just an errant thought," Aro said, continuing to eye Jacob.

"They don't belong to us, Aro. They don't follow our commands that way. They're here because they want to be," my father continued to explain. How had he distorted my love for Jacob in his head? Of course. He only saw love as a form of possession. Jacob growled, and I longed to join him.

"They seem quite attached to you though. And your young mate and your... family. Loyal." I caught my father's eye and knew my thoughts were too loud; I tried to calm myself again.

"They're committed to protecting human life, Aro. That makes them able to coexist with us, but hardly with you. Unless you're rethinking your lifestyle..."

Aro laughed. "Just an errant thought. You well know how that is. We none of us can entirely control our subconscious desires." _And some of us don't bother to try,_ I thought snidely. Then I remembered Edward and tried to shush again; I wasn't any better.

"I do know how that is. And I also know the difference between that kind of thought and the kind with a purpose behind it." I knew they couldn't be, but I thought the words were meant to include me. "It could never work, Aro."

Jacob whined at Edward, no doubt wondering what Aro's idea was. It seemed obvious to me. "He's intrigued with the idea of... guard dogs."

Not surprisingly, the area was quickly drowned by the sound of snarling and howls as the packs caught up with that thought. A bark from Sam and all were quiet again.

"I suppose that answers that question," Aro was laughing again. "This lot has picked its side." _No fighting,_ I pleaded. _N__o fighting_.

Edward hissed and crouched. Mama put her other hand on him. I was sure he was under the shield again now, too. It was going to come to fighting. I closed my eyes and tried not to cry.

"So much to discuss. So much to decide. If you and your furry protector will excuse me, my dear Cullens, I must confer with my brothers." I opened my eyes to see my family turning to depart. It was over? My part was over?


	12. Chapter 12: No Fighting!

Breaking Dawn is written and owned by Stephenie Meyer. I have truncated Garrett's speak because I didn't want to simply reprint so much of it.

* * *

The rest of the guard came forward to where we had met Aro, Caius and Edward in the middle of the clearing; they would all be closer now to my family.

I saw Jacob wasn't stepping backward with us. I couldn't leave him within Aro's reach. I grabbed his tail and pulled. He backed away, his teeth still bared.

Once Mama was back in her place among our friends, I swung to her back. It wasn't long before Senna's hand found me again. This time she simply laid it on my back. _Well done! _they congratulated me. Hmph, little had been accomplished. Even now Caius was choosing another reason to slaughter us; a reason their witnesses and ours would accept. Their witnesses had become a liability to them. They'd made our weapon of gossip stronger.

I saw Mama's brow furrow and wondered what she was doing. _Her shield?_ It must be; she was strengthening it, refining it.

"The werewolves," Caius had chosen his next condemnation.

Aro nearly shook his head, "Ah brother..."

"Will you defend that alliance, too, Aro? The Children of the Moon have been our bitter enemies from the dawn of time." I sent my question to the circle. _Men who becomes wolves at the full moon. They multiply through infection._ What did they have to do with us? Men who turn into wolves, but not my wolf-people.

My father cleared his throat loudly, and Aro covered his face with his hand. "Caius," my father said, "it's the middle of the day. These are not Children of the Moon. they bear no relation to your enemies on the other side of the world."

"You breed mutants here," Caius spit. _Only me,_ I thought morosely. Love hit me through the circle. The meaning was clear, if you're the kind of mutant, we would like more.

"They aren't even werewolves," my father continued after a pause. "Aro can tell you all about it if you don't believe me." Mama looked to Jacob who shrugged. It looked odd to see a wolf do that.

"Dear Caius, I would have warned you not to press this point if you had told me your thoughts. Though the creatures think of themselves as werewolves, they are not," Aro explained. "The more accurate name for them would be shape-shifters. The choice of a wolf form was purely by chance. It could have been a bear or a hawk or a panther when the first change was made."

So... the Quileutes might have chosen to be birds? I still idly dreamed of being a bird. Senna and Zafrina joined my images of soaring from treetops with the images of birds from their forest. It was a nice distraction from the turmoil at hand.

"They know our secret," Caius said now, looking for another reason to condemn the wolves.

"They are creatures of our supernatural world," Aro pointed out, "Perhaps even more dependent upon secrecy than we are; they can hardly expose us. Carefully, Caius. Specious allegations get us nowhere."

_The slime wants to find a new reason, a more valid one. _

More _valid, none are valid._

There was a whisper in the circle. I didn't make any sense of the thought, it was far and faint. It had to be Kachiri. She was coming. Alice was coming. Was Edward listening to us? The circle clamped down into thoughts of green and rain as Caius called for Irina again. _Careful, Nessie. We don't want to give away too much too soon._

I rid my mind of all thoughts except those pertaining to the crisis at hand. Irina was apologizing for her mistake. I hoped to tell her I held her no grudge. She could not be blamed for her actions. The circle tried to argue with me, but my resolve swayed them. If I _had_ been an immortal child, her response was not wrong.

"We all know your mistake," Caius clipped, "I meant to speak of your motivations."

What could this have to do with anything? "My motivations?" Irina asked, also confused.

"Yes, for coming to spy on them in the first place."

My lips tightened. I showed the circle the real reason Irina had come to our home. She was trying to mend, not destroy.

"You were unhappy with the Cullens, were you not?"

"I was."

"Because?"

"Because the werewolves killed my friend. And the Cullens wouldn't stand aside to let me avenge him." She looked ashamed to admit it. I shared with the circle the story of Laurent attacking my mother and the wolves protecting her. The Volturi must have centuries of practice at twisting the truth to suit themselves.

"So the Cullens sided with the shape-shifters against our own kind, against the friend of a friend even."

"That's how I saw it," Irina admitted.

"If you'd like to make a formal complaint against the shape-shifters, and the Cullens for supporting their actions, now would be the time."

_He goads her. He wants her to take the fall for this. _The whispering continued, still too distant to make out.

"No," Irina stated, determination in her eyes, "I have no complaint against the wolves or the Cullens." _Stop there!_ my circle screamed at her, but she couldn't hear us, "You came here today to destroy an immortal child. No immortal child exists. This was my mistake, and I take full responsibility for it." I closed my eyes knowing what was to come. I had seen it in the thoughts of my friends.

Now I saw through their eyes, but couldn't bear to ask Senna to let me leave the circle. Caius held a metal piece in his hand and the guards jumped forward to tear Irina apart. Caius followed less than a second later and used the device to send sparks and flame upon the pieces. I opened my eyes to see for myself the incredulity on the tiny distant faces of the Volturi witnesses.

"Stop them!" I heard Edward shout. It was only then that I realized the fight was starting. It couldn't start, it couldn't happen. Carlisle wrapped his arms around Tanya's waist, but Kate was striding forward. Rosalie tried to grab her, but was shocked to the ground. Garrett tackled her using the momentum of his fall to knock her to the ground even as his eyes rolled up. Zafrina sent darkness on them at the same time my father called to her.

"Give me my sight back,' Tanya hissed. But my eyes were still on Garrett being shocked over and over by Kate. Then, he came to himself. _Mama?_ I thought.

_Yes! Kate is outside the shield now. Excellent, Bella_.

"If I let you up, will you knock me down again, Katie?" Garrett asked her.

Carlisle addressed both women, "Listen to me, Tanya, Kate. Vengeance doesn't help her now. Irina wouldn't want you to waste your lives this way. Think about what you're doing. If you attack them, we all die." This could not end in a fight.

Tanya leaned into Carlisle as grief overcame her. Kate stopped thrashing in Garrett's hold. Both continued to try to comfort the distraught sisters.

The resulting quiet did not ease the tension in the clearing. The guard, prepared to defend against an attack were left unsure what to do. The witnesses Aro had brought were still confused at Irina's swift punishment. _They are regretting bringing witnesses now; their arrogance is their weakness_, I thought to my friends.

Aro now turned to his brother. "Irina has been punished for bearing false witness against this child. Perhaps we should return to the matter at hand." The idea that they were protecting me was laughable. Aro came closer to our group, and I tensed reflexively. I did not want to be anywhere near this creature again. "Just to be thorough, I'd like to speak with a few of your witnesses. Procedure," he claimed, "you know."

Edward hissed, and I knew he had heard Aro's plan. I was glad the circle couldn't take thoughts, but just now I wished my father was in it. Senna almost agreed before coming to herself.

Aro approached Amun first. _Amun_, I thought with dread, _if anyone will give Aro what he was looking for, it would be Amun. _

"Ah, Amun, my southern neighbor," Aro greeted him. "It has been so long since you've visited me."

"Time means little; I never notice its passing," Amun replied. A small, petty part of me enjoyed watching him squirm, but it was fleeting. No one deserved this.

"So true. But maybe you had another reason to stay away?" I thought Aro's eyes flitted to Bejamin, though without Eleazar it was unlikely Aro knew he was gifted, or what his gift was. "It can be terribly time-consuming to organize newcomers into a coven," he continued. "I'm glad your new additions have fit in so well. I would have loved to have been introduced. I'm sure you were meaning to come to see me soon."

"Of course," Amun lied. Maggie didn't see fit to expose him.

"Oh well, we're all together now! Isn't it lovely?" The circle was almost growling. It wouldn't be long before we vocalized it.

Amun simply nodded.

"But the reason for your presence here is not as pleasant, unfortunately. Carlisle called on you to witness?"

Amun stuck to simple answers, "Yes."

"And what did you witness?" Aro placed his lure, waiting for the fish to bite. The circle had the perfect response to that thought, the Amazon had meat eating fish.

"I've observed the child in question. It was evident, almost immediately, that she was not an immortal child," Amun was sticking to the safe points.

"Perhaps we should define our terminology now that there seems to be new classifications," Aro offered. "By immortal child you mean of course a human child who has been bitten and thus transformed into a vampire." Was he implying that I was immortal? But I was aging. It seemed obvious that I would die one day as certainly as Charlie or Sue. This thought saddened my friends, but they didn't disagree.

Amun was agreeing with Aro's terminology. "What else did you observe about the child," Aro prompted again.

"The same things that you surely saw in Edward's mind." Now I knew why he had chosen Amun to question. He had not declared for us. Who would be next then? Siobhan? That would be good; she was levelheaded.

"Yes, yes," Aro was becoming impatient, "but specifically in your few weeks here, what did you see?"

Amun had no idea what to answer. "That she grows... quickly."

Aro smiled now, and I knew he'd landed his bite. "And do you believe that she should be allowed to live?" My first thought before being distracted by Mama's hiss, was that growing quickly meant dying quickly. Was that what my family had been so worried about, why I had felt so bad about growing? Mama's hiss brought the direct threat on my life forward. My friends were both incensed and trying to console me. I saw Edward take hold of Mama's wrist. She could still start this fight. I clung harder to her neck, praying she clutched me for steadiness.

"I did not come to make judgments," Amun hedged.

Aro laughed, "Just your opinion."

_Here it comes,_ I thought. Amun had never taken to me, and I hadn't tried much after the first to win him. "I see no danger in the child. She learns even more swiftly than she grows." Shock ran through me. Was that ... a compliment?

"Aro?" Amun asked as Aro turned. "I gave my witness. I have no more business here. My mate and I would like to take our leave now."

"Of course," Aro said. "I'm so glad we were able to chat for a bit. And I'm sure we'll see each other again soon."

The veil on that threat was thin indeed. I no longer bore Amun any ill will. He could have condemned me and didn't. I hoped Aro would not come for him and his family. I watched him and Kebi through my friends' eyes as they backed to the trees and then ran.

Aro moved to Siobhan next. _Good call, Nessie. _"Hello, dear Siobhan. You are as lovely as ever." I heard teeth grinding somewhere around me. "And you?" he asked. "Would you answer my questions the same way Amun has?"

"I would," Siobhan answered without hesitation, "but I would perhaps add a little more." I held my breath. Would this give him the ammunition he sought? _"_Renesmee understands the limitations. She's no danger to humans; she blends in better than we do. She poses no threat of exposure."

"Can you think of none?" And I saw it then, my quick growth. I had tried before to slow it, and it was slowing. Soon even that wouldn't hinder me.

Edward growled and I knew he'd either heard my thought or had the same. Caius, by his expression had caught on as well.

Siobhan hedged, "I don't think I follow you."

Aro began to pace, approaching his guard. "There is no broken law. However, does it follow that there is no danger? No, that is a separate issue." I didn't think he'd make this claim stick either, but perhaps he was willing to test his numbers with this little reason to placate the witnesses. He continued to ramble, building his argument, "She is unique, utterly, impossibly unique. Such a waste it would be, to destroy something so lovely." I shuddered at his implication. "But there is danger, danger that cannot simply be ignored."

The whispering in the circle was getting louder. For the first time I could make out Kachiri's thoughts_, I come. _I tried to listen to her, to ignore Aro and his nonsense about humans being more threatening now. It was true that they were, but also true that only a human who stayed at my side for days would know anything was unusual about me, aside from being warm.

"This amazing child," he lifted his hand in my direction, and I flinched. "If we could but know her potential, know with absolute certainty that she could always remain shrouded within the obscurity that protects us. But we know nothing of what she will become!" _She may sprout wings and fly like a bird_, one of my friends mentally snorted. "We cannot know what she will grow to be."

He leveled meaningful looks at our group and his own witnesses. I scoffed to the circle again. "Only the known is safe. Only the known is tolerable. The unknown is... a vulnerability."

_I come! I bring Alice!_ We clamped down again and told Karchiri that Edward might hear us.

"You're reaching, Aro," Carlisle chastised his former friend.

Garrett asked to offer his sentiments. He spoke not to the Volturi but to their witnesses. I hadn't know when or how we would unleash our only weapon, but Garrett proved to be the perfect mouthpiece. I wouldn't have thought it of him. He seemed much more a man of action than words, but his words moved me. He used the same tactics as Aro, the same convincing tone. But where Aro threaded together lies and tried to form a truth, Garrett had a whole cloth. He exposed the original Volturi plan, to add to their numbers, and made the witnesses see that now the truth could be twisted to achieve the same end. I listened to his kind words toward my family and hoped he would stay with Kate and the Denali's.

"Carlisle assured us all, when he told us what was coming, that he did not call us here to fight," _Would it be too petulant to yell 'no fighting?'_ I asked my friends.

_Yes,_ one chuckled.

_It would certainly get attention though, _the other snorted.

_I come. Five minutes_. We tried not to think too much about that. I didn't think Garrett could hold them off that long. Mind you, he'd made a good dent in that already.

He addressed the witnesses again, "You might consider joining us. If you think the Volturi will let you live to tell _this_ tale, you are mistaken. We may all be destroyed, but then again maybe not. Prehaps we are on more equal footing than they know." He knew about Mama's shield too. "Perhaps the Volturi have finally met their match. I promise you this, though, if we fall, so do you." _No fighting,_ I sighed. Why were they so intent on fighting? We could not win a fight.

"A very pretty speech, my revolutionary friend," Aro complimented Garrett. I think he meant it to be patronizing, but it was lost in the truth of the statement.

"Revolutionary?" Garrett growled. "Who am I revolting against, might I ask? Are you my King? Do you wish me to call you Master, too, like your sycophantic guard?"

"Peace, Garrett," Aro warned. "I meant only to refer to your time of birth. Still a patriot, I see."

Now Aro turned to his witnesses for their reaction. I prayed level heads won there as well. "Do we take the risk and let the child live? Do we put our world in jeopardy to preserve their family intact? Or does earnest Garrett have the right of it? Will you join them in a fight against our sudden quest for dominion?"

It was a few moments before one woman spoke, "Are those our only choices? Agree with you, or fight against you?"

"Of course not, most charming Makenna," Aro tried to reassure her. "You may go in peace, of course as Amun did, even if you disagree with the council's decision."

She nodded to her mate and declared, "We did not come here for a fight." I mentally cheered. "We came here to witness. And our witness is that this condemned child is innocent. Everything that Garrett has claimed it truth." _Wow, that was more than I expected._ My friends agreed.

"I'm sorry you see us that way," Aro crooned. "But such is the nature of our work."

"It is not what I see, but what I feel," her mate spoke now. "Garrett said they have ways of knowing lies. I, too, know when I am hearing the truth, and when I am not."

"Do not fear us, friend Charles," Aro said when Charles moved to stand in front of his mate defensively. "No doubt the patriot believes what he says." Aro chuckled.

"That is our witness," Makenna concluded. "We're leaving now." I wished them all the best on their journey as well. I never met them and they never knew me, but they had done my family and me a great service.

The rest of the witnesses were uneasy and began to worry that they might be tracked down when they did leave. Aro took control of the situation once more. "We are outnumbered, dearest ones. We can expect no outside help," he admitted to his guard. "Should we leave this question unanswered to save ourselves?"

"No, Master."

"Is the protection of our world worth perhaps the loss of some of our number?"

"Yes. We are not afraid." It seemed rehearsed, but I didn't see how it could be.

"Brothers," Aro gestured to Marcus and Caius. "There is much to consider here."

"Let us council," Caius seemed eager.

"Let us council," Marcus intoned.

They joined hands making a mock-circle of their own. _Of course you could just go away and come back if she does sprout wings_, one of my friends commented.

_Ah, but then they wouldn't get to acquire young Bella here, or Benjamin._

I shuddered. _How much longer?_ I asked Kachiri. I felt mental frowns.

_Two minutes, Edward will hear us sooner._

She was right. I looked to my father and hoped Alice was thinking very loudly. This was going to devolve into a fight very quickly.

Senna took her hand from my back, and I was shocked to hear the quiet in my head. Mama was loosening my arms though, bringing me to her front.

"You remember what I told you?" she asked me.

I really didn't want to run away now, but Mama was right; I couldn't help in this fight. I felt angry and desperate tears come to my eyes as I nodded. "I love you," I told her.

My father turned to us now, and Jacob was watching too.

"I love you, too," she told me. "More than my own life," she said holding my locket. My tears did flow, but I tried not to sob.

Jacob whined. She whispered to him, "Wait until they're totally distracted, then run with her. Get as far from this place as you possibly can. When you've gone as far as you can on foot, she has what you need to get you in the air."_ Law office._ She'd gotten us passports.

I turned to my father, he lifted and hugged me. "This is what you kept from me?" he asked her while he held me.

"From Aro."

"Alice?" he asked now.

I couldn't see, but I guessed Mama nodded.

Jacob was really agitated now. It went against everything in him to run from a fight. But he would do it for me, I was certain.

I played our adapted lullaby for my father as he kissed my forehead. Then he kissed my cheeks, and I wept while I continued to play. I was glad for the player still in my jacket pocket. He settled me on Jacob's shoulder, and I shifted to my usual place behind his ears.

"You're the only one we could ever trust her with," Mama was telling Jacob now. "If you didn't love her so much, I could never bear this. I know you can protect her, Jacob."

He put his head to Mama's shoulder, still whimpering.

"I know," she whispered. "I love you too, Jake. You'll always be my best man." I thought I was imagining things when a saw a giant tear roll down Jacob's snout.

My father put his head to Jacob's shoulder. "Goodbye, Jacob, my brother... my son." I put my head in his fur and cried silently. Why did they have to tear my family apart? Why did this have to come to a fight. Why?

"Is there no hope then?" Carlisle asked.

"There is absolutely hope. I only know my own fate," my mother replied. I wondered if she really did. Alice still had a card to play. I tried to hear Kachiri's voice, even though I was no longer in the circle. She was still coming - one minute.

I listened to the goodbyes around me but couldn't focus on any of them; I was crying too hard. And what had once been silent tears, were now sobs. _Hurry Alice,_ I thought. _Hurry_.

I sent Jacob every image of him with my parents I could remember: Edward stepping on his tail, telling him to put on pants, hunting. I came to Mama's return and remembered with slowness her attack of Jacob. There was a whine from the trees when the wolves shared the memory of Seth jumping to take Mama's blow. Then back further, I remembered chasing Alice up the stairs and my father's face when he realized what existed between Jacob and I. Then later his relief at the knowledge that this put the wolves at ease. Then even further, I remembered the first time I met Jacob's eyes. I held that instant for several seconds, until my ragged breathing evened out, and Jacob's trembling ceased. We could do this together.


	13. Chapter 13: Held in her Shield

Huilen and Nahuel's stories are also truncated. Please refer to Breaking Dawn.

* * *

"Get ready. It's starting," Mama said. They were hitting her shield.

"Chelsea is trying to break our bindings," Edward informed us. "But she can't find them. She can't feel us here." I sat up smiling, thinking of Mama shielding ALL of us. "Are you doing that?"

She grinned at Edward. "I am all over this."

I saw my father reach for Carlisle. "Carlisle? Are you all right?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Jane," was his answer. She would never get through my Mama's shield. My pride in my mother was ready to burst. I tried to imagine Mama's shield for Jacob. Did he understand just how wonderful, special and strong she was? We would last this final minute. I was sure.

"Incredible," I heard my father whisper and wondered what they were trying now.

I listened to my father explain to Tanya that the Volturi often incapacitated those on trial to prevent escape.

A snarl came from the middle of the clearing. It sounded feminine, likely Jane. _My Mama is stronger than you! _I thought happily. My father and the Romanians snickered. "Just look at the witch's face." Stephan laughed.

Mama was suddenly wary. They must be trying something new.

"Are you okay?" she asked my father.

"Yes."

"Is Alec trying?"

He answered with a nod, "His gift is slower than Jane's. It creeps. It will touch us in a few seconds." I held my breath.

There was a rumbling under Jacob's paws and the wind swirled up snow. Benjamin was putting up his own defense, trying to blow whatever Alec was sending away. Seeing the snow swirling I could make out a distortion in the light. Like looking through flawed glass. Only it was moving toward us. That was what Benjamin had aimed at. Sadly, his winds were ineffective.

The ancients hadn't moved before, but now they broke apart. Benjamin had opened a rift in the center of the clearing. I looked at the gaping hole in surprise; the snow was falling into it. Benjamin was stronger than I had imagined. The distortion was unaffected and drifted across the opening, floating it seemed. Everyone held their breath as the wave to crashed over us. But it didn't. It hit Mama's shield and flowed over and around us instead. Now I could see Mama's shield, how carefully she had fitted it to each of us. The distortion filled the space between myself and my parents. Mama had truly discovered the nature of her shield, she had made it more supple and pliable than I had dreamed it could be. It was so precise. And so strong!

"I'm going to have to concentrate," she was reminding my father. "When it comes to hand to hand, it's going to be harder to shield the right people." It wasn't going to come to that. Not anymore. _You stopped them again. They are afraid of you, Mama._

"I'll have to keep them off you," he declared as though it were obvious.

"No," she argued. "You have to get Demetri. Zafrina will keep them away from me."

My friend nodded. "No one will touch this young one."

"I'd go after Jane and Alec myself," Mama offered, "but I can do more good here." _Don't even think of it, Mama. We need you here, doing this. This is why we pushed you, why you had to learn so fast. Not combat, your shield._

I listened half laughing as my friends chose partners in the deadly dance to come. Kate claimed Jane. Vladimir wanted Alec. Tanya planned to go for Caius. My father was still taking Demetri. Emmett wanted Felix; that would be an interesting one to watch, but I was glad it wasn't going to come to that. Alice should be in Edward's range any second.

"Before we vote," Aro said calmly, though he must be uncomfortable that we were all still listening. "Let me remind you, whatever the council's decision, there need be no violence here."

My father laughed. It frightened me. The menace in it was so clear.

"It will be a regrettable waste to our kind to lose any of you. But you especially, young Edward, and your newborn mate." A new terrible thought hit me. My mother and father killing one another to prevent either falling into their hands. I knew in an instant they were capable of it. I sent the image to Jacob hoping he could deny it. He just whined.

"Let us vote then," Aro declared.

Caius spoke first, "The child is an unknown quantity. There is no reason to allow such a risk to exist. It must be destroyed, along with all who protect it." His answer was no surprise at all. Yet I couldn't hate him as much as Aro in that moment. He was honest.

"I see no immediate danger," Marcus said, surprisingly rational. He had been so quiet I hadn't really noticed him before. Would he be the voice of reason in all this madness? "The child is safe enough now. We can always reevaluate later. Let us leave in peace." His words echoed the thoughts of the circle earlier.

"I must make the deciding vote, it seems," Aro said. Well, so much for reason winning out. Except that we had one more ace to play, and she was late.

"Yes!" my father whispered loudly. I smiled broadly and sat straighter on Jacob's back sending him the image I'd been holding back for what seemed a very long time. Kachiri and Alice bringing someone with them. Someone who would help us.

"Aro?" my father called now.

"Yes, Edward? You have something further?"

"Perhaps. First, if I could clarify one point." I listened attentively. This would tell me what Alice had brought, who Alice had brought.

"The danger you foresee from my daughter, this stems entirely from our inability to guess how she will develop?" _Really?_ I thought. _Someone like me?_

"Yes, friend Edward. If we could but be positive, be sure that, as she grows, she will be able to stay concealed in the human world," Aro was hedging and my excitement made it problematic to listen to him.

"So if we could only know for sure exactly what she will become, then there would be no need for a council at all?" I was able to focus on my father's clear voice.

"If there was some way to be absolutely sure. Then, yes, there would be no question to debate."

Then my father tried to gain assurance. "And we could depart in peace, good friends once again." Sarcasm, perfectly executed. We would never be friends with these monsters.

"Of course."

"Then I do have something more to offer," my father announced with a chuckle.

Aro was troubled by this. "She is absolutely unique. Her future can only be guessed at."

"Not absolutely unique," my father argued and my grin widened as I stared Aro down myself. "Rare certainly, but not one of a kind."

There was a slight pause and my father asked, "Aro, would you ask Jane to stop attacking my wife? We are still discussing evidence." I tried not to glare at the woman and her brother at the front of the guard.

"Why don't you join us, Alice?" my father called, and I laughed.

"Alice," I heard whispered all around me. Only Zafrina and Senna were silent and grinning as I was.

Alice danced toward us from behind, Jasper her constant shadow. How long since I had seen her last? How many days? weeks? She was followed by Kachiri, who I recognized instantly. I smiled at her and she caught my eye to smile back. Two more came next. Two? I thought. One was obviously a vampire. Her coloring similar to my wild friends'. The other was a man. His skin was dark and his eyes, warm brown. Not a vampire to be sure; he was the one like me.

Alice jumped over the distortion and came under Mama's shield. She stood in the middle of our family. I couldn't reach from Jacob but was glad to see my grandparents and parents resting hands on her.

My father was disturbed by the thoughts coming from the guard. Of course, they now knew Mama's shield wasn't tangible; they could pass through it. He began explaining again, "Alice has been searching for her own witnesses these last weeks. And she does not come back empty handed."

I let relief spread through me as Alice introduced Huilen and Nahuel.

Kachiri laid her hand on Huilen's shoulder to answer Aro's command to bear witness. Now we would all understand her Portuguese. She told of her sister, Pire, who like Mama, loved the baby she bore a demon angel, vampire, enough to endure pain and death. Pire had named Nahuel before his birth and died in the process. Just as Mama would have without my father's extraordinary intervention. Pire, on her deathbed, begged Huilen to care for Nahuel, and she could not refuse. However, his bite was venomous and Huilen was converted in his first days, just as Mama was in mine.

It was Nahuel who made the decision to come. He wanted to meet me. He was one hundred and fifty years old. He had aged for seven years, at which point he reached adulthood.

I wasn't going to die, not soon anyway. It seemed impossible to process the idea. Once I had I was filled with joy. I was going to spend _years _with my family. Provided the Volturi saw reason and left.

"You were able to create an immortal?" Aro asked, seeking confirmation.

"Yes, but none of the rest of us can." Now I was as surprised as the others, though once more Senna and Zafrina were aware of this information.

"The rest?" Aro voiced the question aloud.

"My sisters," Nahuel shrugged. At Aro's prompting Nahuel told of his father, whom he obviously despised, named Joham, who was trying to create a super-race. Breeding. Disgusting. I understood Nahuel's distaste in this part of his heritage.

"Is your daughter venomous?" Caius asked.

"No," Mama answered. Nahuel had sisters. Were females of our kind... our kind, I had a kind!... normally not venomous, was that a male trait? Did Nahuel or his sisters have any children? Were they still aging, just too slowly to notice? I had so many questions for him now.

Caius still wanted his fight, "We take care of the aberration here, and then follow it south." What danger could he possibly claim I posed now? Obviously I would continue to pass as human, in fact, in six years I would be exactly as risky as my parents, less so.

Aro knew this, he also knew that Mama's shield took away their advantage. This would be at the best an even fight, at the worst, we would blind and slaughter them.

"Brother," he told Caius. "There appears to be no danger. This is an unusual development but I see no threat."_ Victory!_

"Is that your vote?" Caius spat.

"It is."

"And this Joham? This immortal so fond of experimentation?" I would not be sad if they chased him down and eliminated him. Condemning healthy, loving women to death.

"Perhaps we should speak with him," Aro agreed.

"Stop Joham if you will, but leave my sisters be." Nahuel wasted no love on his father, but he was right, his sisters were no more dangerous than I.

"Dear ones," Aro said facing his guard. "We do not fight today."

I was probably alone, but I cheered quietly. I saw Alice bouncing; no, I wasn't alone.

"I'm so glad this could be resolved without violence," Aro crooned to my grandfather. "I hope there are no hard feelings. I know you understand the strict burden that our duty places on our shoulders." His lies were so acidic.

"Leave in peace, Aro," Carlisle commanded. "Please remember that we still have our anonymity to protect here, and keep your guard from hunting in this region."

The wolves probably hoped they would split up and try. I hoped they didn't, they might find Jane or Alec instead of Demetri or Felix.

"Of course Carlisle. I am sorry to earn your disapproval, my dear friend," and that was likely true. He would rather have Carlisle available for his use. "Perhaps in time you will forgive me."

_Not this century,_ I thought. "Perhaps, in time," my grandfather answered, much more diplomatic than I, "if you prove a friend to us again."

No one moved until the last of the guard were hidden by the trees.

Then everyone seemed to breathe for the first time.

Mama broke the silence, "Is it really over?" she asked.

My father's smile was broad and warm and full of victory, "Yes. They've given up. Like all bullies, they're cowards underneath the swagger." He laughed, and I laughed too.

Alice joined us and added her own assurance, "Seriously, people. They're not coming back. Everybody can relax now."

Still there was no sound but our few giggles.

"Of all the rotten luck," this time it was Stefan who spoke in the quiet. I laughed louder.

Unable to bear the goodbyes, I was happy to examine all my friends show their signs of love and relief. I made sure to pass Jacob my own expression of gratitude and happiness. Rosalie and Emmett were kissing, Carmen and Eleazar were squeezing each other tightly. Benjamin held Tia. Esme hugged Jasper and Alice. Garrett swung Kate in a circle and kissed her. I smiled smugly at that. My eyes rested on the circle, whole once more. I wondered idly if they'd still let me join them.

Mama practically climbed Jacob to reach me. As soon as I saw her coming I leaned to her with open arms. She squeezed me as tightly as Emmett had weeks ago, then my father was pressed against my back hugging us both. I wished there was a way to fit Jacob in this hug.

"Nessie, Nessie, Nessie," my mother was whispering. It was the first time she had used my beloved short name. Jacob laughed at her.

"I get to stay with you." It was a statement, not a question.

"Forever," Mama confirmed.

"Forever," my father echoed.

Then, as I'd always hoped they would again some day. They kissed over my head, passionately and fully. The warmth that shot through me was wonderful. It was the love that had created me; it was still strong and alive and wrapped around me. It was perfect.


	14. Epilogue

As soon as my parents were willing to let me go, I ran to the circle. To my great delight they did let me join, though I felt slightly squeezed, as though with Kachiri here I didn't fit any longer. _Should you ever find yourself without Jacob, we'll happily enlarge our circle for you, Renesmee._

I sent them all the gratitude I could muster. They had made me stronger; they had helped me reach farther than I would have dreamed possible. I would see them again one day. Even if I never fully joined their circle.

Then they dropped their hands and mine. Zafrina lifted me and the other two hugged me as well, just as Mama and Edward just had. I would miss my fierce friends.

I took a quick moment to dig through my pack while surrounded by my friends. I found a letter Mama had addressed to me. I moved it to my pocket. "Secret." They nodded simultaneously.

Zafrina approached Mama then, "You must bring the child to see me. Promise me, young one."

I asked Mama for the same.

"Of course Zafrina."

"We shall be great friends, my Nessie." I imagine she said it for Mama's benefit. We were great friends already.

Siobhan brought a frightening notion along with her goodbye, "Of course, this isn't over. The Volturi won't forgive what happened here." I felt cold in my mother's arms, she was right.

She had the answer as well though, "Alice will warn us when they intend to strike and we'll gather again. Perhaps the time will come when our world is ready to be free of the Volturi altogether." I hoped that day was soon.

Maggie hugged Mama and I before going.

That left just our newest friends, Huilen and Nahuel, and the Denalis. I already counted Garrett among them. All the others had left even more quickly than my circle. I didn't get to say goodbye to Benjamin and Tia. I hoped I would see them again.

Our cousins were still bearing their grief. I hugged each one showing them that I respected Irina and her choice. I also asked each to tell me something of her, I was sad I would never know her.

"She was fiery," Kate told me. "You would think I was the hot-headed one with my gift, but I was not. She was as quick to love as to hate."

"Her heart was loyal," Tanya shared. "That's why she wouldn't come to your family's aid. She was still loyal to Laurent. But she was loyal to your family too, it must have been very difficult for her to go to the Volturi. Alice told me she deliberated on that long." I knew that to be true.

"She was soft." I didn't expect that when Eleazar said it. "Some strange feminine maternal instinct. That was why she took to Laurent, and there lay her downfall. But to her, he was a lost child who needed help finding his way." He shook his head wishing she hadn't.

"She was devious," Carmen said with a half-smile. "I know Emmett can make your family want to yank their hair with some of his stunts, but he doesn't hold a candle to the pranks Irina would pull. I will NOT tell you more of them. You have enough bad influence from that uncle of yours." Her eyes were merry but there was darkness in them too.

"Thank you for telling me," I told each of them. "You will visit again soon?"

"Of course," Carmen insisted. "And we are much closer than the Amazon." I smiled happily.

I found a little time alone with Alice while Edward was breaking down the Volturi's plan and how Mama had completely destroyed it. I asked her if she saw my blocks.

She kissed my head, "I did, and I heard your Christmas present, thank you very much. You'll have to play it for Jasper though."

I nodded.

"I have to say though, you weren't surprised when you saw me."

I shook my head.

She laughed lightly, "You are too smart by far. Even your mother doubted I was returning, doubted there was any chance of surviving, and you kept faith in me, you, who have only known me a few weeks!"

I shrugged this time. I replayed a lot of the conversations, especially those at the beginning. I knew where she'd gone. I knew she was getting something we would need.

"Did you hesitate?" I asked her.

"What do you mean?" she asked seeming horrified by the suggestion.

I showed the image of the ancients giving verdicts.

She laughed loudly. "Maybe just a second or two. I _love_ to make an entrance."

A few days later, I faked sleep and pulled Mama's letter out when I was alone. Her writing was the least lovely of my family, but I'd seen her regular scrawl and could tell she'd taken more care when writing this.

_My dearest Renesmee, my beautiful baby, my little nudger,_

_If you are reading this, it is because I can no longer be with you. While I can't bear to think of it, I know you are well without me. Alice gave me the means to protect you and Jacob. I am sure she knew that saving you was the only thing I'd want in the hopeless situation we were faced with. I am also sure she must have seen you escape. In that she has given me hope. I am sure you are safe with Jacob now and I pray you are happy together. If you ever see Alice again, thank her for me._

_I love you Renesmee. You are the physical evidence of my love for your father. We were all shocked when I became pregnant with you, such a thing being impossible. We should have known better. What was impossible was that our love wouldn't create something as wonderful and special as you. I loved you the moment I knew of you. The moment you first touched me from inside. I know my days of burning were hard for you. They were hard for me too, and not just for the pain. I wanted to know you, what had become of you, what you looked like. You were the first thing I reached for after Edward when I woke, but the family was rightly concerned for your safety. I have treasured every second I have spent with you, even when I thought we'd have years together._

_Take care of Jacob. I hope he is everything to you that Edward is for me. Take care of each other. Be Happy! Be as happy as I was when you were with me. No one can ask for more than that._

_I love you, Renesmee,_

_Bella_

My memory was very good, but not indelible as my parents'. I refolded the letter and hid it under my mattress.


End file.
